He Doesn't Look a Thing Like Jesus
by Sammy-Dee
Summary: I'm killing myself slowly. Yes I'm aware of it, and I don't care. I've lost all my friends and I'm losing my family, but I can't save myself. He doesn't look a thing like Jesus, but he thinks he can save me. Yeah, good luck red. AkuRoku,not religion based
1. Chapter 1

AN: I don't know much about drugs or rehab, but I'll try to make it sound convincing with what little I do know about it. If there is something wrong that bothers you, I don't mind constructive criticism. All I know on the subject of drugs I've gotten from Health Class, Movies, Books, and the internet. So if you'd like to correct me all I ask is that you do it nicely.

This story is very loosely based off of The Killers "When you were Young" the idea popped in my head while I was listening to it.

I probably won't update this one as much as "The Other Side isn't so Green"

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Warning: Swearing, because Axel and Roxas are bad and adult content.

Summary:

I'm killing myself slowly. Yes I'm aware of it, and I don't care. I've lost all my friends and I'm losing my family, but I can't save myself. He doesn't look a thing like Jesus, but he thinks he can save me. Yeah, good luck red, you've no idea what I'm going through. You've probably never had a sip of cough syrup.

Saix is gone, my savior is gone, I need drugs. No, what would Saix say. Just because he's gone doesn't mean you should destroy what he's done for you. The best way to honor his memory is to help someone else. That cute little blond could be perfect.

**Chapter 1 – He Doesn't Look A Thing Like Jesus**

* * *

You sit there in your heartache  
Waiting on some beautiful boy  
To save you from your old ways  
You play forgiveness  
Watch it now, here he comes

He doesn't look a thing like Jesus  
But he talks like a gentlemen  
Like you imagined when you were young

-The Killers, "When you were Young"

* * *

'_Axel, we knew this day was coming. We knew. I'm not telling you not to mourn for me, but Axel, don't slip back back into your old ways. Stay clean, and live for me, make me proud, and know I will always love you.'_

oOo

Those were his last word, ant the only thing going through my head as they lowered the coffin into the ground. Saix's parents were holding each other, crying, and sending a glare my way every once in a while. Saix had spent the majority of his last years with me, and they hadn't approved in the least. As far as they were concerned I was a no good druggie whore out for his money.

All I can say is, Saix is the most important person in my life. Yes, even though he's dead he is still the most important person in my life. He is my anchor; he keeps me from going back to the drugs that nearly killed me. As long as he's in my heart, he can keep me clean. I moved forward placing a single red rose on my lover's coffin. 'Saix, I will love you forever.'

_"Axel, promise me you'll move on. After I'm gone, promise you'll allow yourself happiness."_

_"I'll try Saix, but I love you, it won't be easy."_

_"Since when is anything easy? I will always know you love me, and there is no reason you shouldn't move on. You deserve happiness even if it's not with me. Axel, baby, I can't be at peace if I know you're unhappy."_

_"I'll be happy, not at first, but I'll move on, I promise."_

"Axel!" My floor length coat was billowing in the wind, hands buried deep within the pockets as I looked over my shoulder to see Demyx shuffling towards me, moments before the wind blinded me with my vibrant red hair. As he reached me Demyx put a tentative hand on my shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"I'm not crying, am I?" I said indignantly, as I pushed my hair out of my face showing my very obvious dry face, and new tattoo, identical to my previous. This earned me another venomous glare from Saix's parents. I can just imagine what they were thinking, 'Bastard won't even cry for him. He stole him from us, fucked him, and took his money, but he won't cry for him. That filthy druggie whore.' Yeah whatever bitches, I haven't cried since my mother died, it's not like I don't want to cry for Saix.

"That doesn't mean anything Axel, you never cry."

"I'm dealing, Dem, I made a promise to be happy again and I intend to keep it." I paused before asking, "Any chance you and Zex will stay with me tonight. I haven't slept since he died. I think it's because I've never slept in our apartment alone." It was true; the bed just seemed so cold these past four days.

"Of course Ax, we'll meet you there." I couldn't help but smile at him, as bad as I felt right now, I had to smile. Saix had given me such great friends. They would get me through this; he left me in good hands.

"Thanks Dem." I said as I walked away, waving. As I stepped into my black Lamborghini Reventon I saw another glare from Saix's parents. Yes your precious son bought this million euro piece of metal for me on my nineteenth birthday, one full year of sobriety than you very much. Then we christened it by fucking like it was going out of style, which was an interesting experience with it not having a backseat. They continued glaring at me all the way to their limo. Yes go morn the fact that he left all of his possessions and his business to me. After venting some more I sped to our, no my, apartment where Demyx and Zexion were waiting for me. These would be a difficult few months.

oOo

"You're doing drugs again, aren't you?" My mother's shrill scream did nothing for my hangover, "All that time in rehab and your doing drugs again. Sora doesn't need this type of influence." I emptied my stomach contents into my toilet. Why can't she just shut the fuck up, "…How could you do this?"

"I'm not doing drugs; I raided your liquor cabinet." I yelled back at her, tears filling my eyes. I don't know why I bother to waste my tears on her. There's really no point, she's given up on me already. "You're really making me want drugs though." I didn't see it coming, but before I realized what was happening there was a sharp stinging pain in my cheek. She slapped me! Oh my God, she's never touched me before. I was shocked beyond comprehension and my tears were now falling freely.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, Roxas. I just…I'm worried about you. You and Sora are all I have left since your father left. I love you so much and your killing yourself." I had fallen to the ground now and she followed me, hugging me tightly. I didn't hug back.

"I'm not doing drugs." I whispered. Yet, just wait till I find some, maybe I'll overdose and you'll never have to be burdened by me. I got up and escaping from my mother's clutches. I left her crying on my bathroom floor, I didn't care; I don't care about anything anymore.

Somehow, I don't know how, I ended up in a café with my younger brother Sora, Riku, Kairi, Namine, Hayner, Pence and Olette. "Aren't you so happy its summer?! We all get to hang out together again!" Olette exclaimed, "Roxas is back from boarding school…all is right again." I love, excuse me, loved my friends, but after that first joint…things changed and I just don't care anymore. If I got hit by a bus on my way home, I wouldn't give a shit. I didn't need my friend to whiteness my new attitude.

I haven't really talked to them for two years. I stopped talking to them when I was about sixteen; I was too focused on where I was buying, where I would get the money, and how high I could get. At seventeen I was put into rehab, though only my brother, mom, and dad knew it, everyone else thought I was at boarding school. Beats me why they lie. "Hey! Roxas!"

"What?!" Oh hell, were they talking to me. I was spacing out.

"I asked how boarding school was." Olette repeated.

"Torture. Withdrawal was a bitch, and the therapists are always trying to get you to talk about 'feelings'." I made air quotes and watched as confusion and surprise entered my friends' faces.

"Wh-what?" Olette stammered.

"Roxas!" Sora scolded.

"What? Why lie, Sora. Just face it. I'm a filthy junkie who got himself thrown in rehab. And last night I got so shit-faced I made mom cry, and didn't even care. I spent all night and morning sitting by my toilet and left mom crying on the floor when I left this morning." I wasn't one to lie, I like the truth.

"Oh my God, Roxas!" Kairi exclaimed.

"That's terrible." Namine added her quiet opinion.

"I can't believe you don't care that you made your mom cry." Olette said.

"Yeah, that's weak man." Hayner added with Pence and Riku nodding their agreement.

"All the more reason I shouldn't hang with you all." I drawled out in boredom, and paused. The bell on the door rang and an angel walked through. His eyes caught mine and he walked over to me quickly.

"Roxas." He said in greeting. I had never heard a more wonderful voice.

"Seifer." I said back, scratching my head in signal, he in turn pulled his ear, a system we had. "See you around." He said and walked away. Yes, I had drugs, now I just needed money. Maybe he'd let me pay him back. "So when did Seifer get out of Juvie?" I asked. Everyone was staring at me. I was hoping it was because I made my mom cry and not because they knew Seifer was my dealer, the one who gave me my first joint.

"About three weeks ago." Hayner answered.

oOo

A few hours later I found myself in the usual alley waiting for Seifer. I hadn't been able to scrounge up any money, but I was still confident I could figure something out. "Got the money chicken wuss?"

"Got the drugs, Seifer?"

"Roxas, Roxas, you think I'd cheat you." Seifer opened his arms and smiled at Roxas. "All I got today is coke, you good with that?"

"Yeah, let me see." I said getting excited. He pulled out a bag of white powder. Yes, I could swear my mouth was watering.

"So where's the money twerp?"

"Uh…well, I don't have any. But…but I'll pay you back."

"Money up front."

"Seifer, I'll do anything, please?" I begged.

"Anything?"

"Yes." Once again I was in the position of not knowing what was happening before it happened. I was being slammed face first into the wall. Seifer was pressed into me, the buldge in his pants grinding into my ass. His mouth was touching my ear as he spoke, "Are you sure about 'anything'?" I was hesitant, I'm still a virgin, yes and eighteen year old virgin and I liked it. There was a time that I wanted someone special to be my first. But after my mom's fit this morning, that bag was calling me, "Yes, I'm sure."

oOo

There is something wrong with me. I let Seifer fuck me in an alley for a bag of coke. And to be honest, I don't think I'll ever have sex again, that shit was painful. My ass still hurts; I don't think I'm walking properly either. Just the small walk form the alley to this park sucked. Now I'm sitting on the park bench trying to figure out why this bag was worth my virginity.

Come on Roxas. Like I've ever cared before, I shouldn't start now. But I did care. I used to care about a lot of things, what were they? Now I'm crying again. I sat on that bench crying and staring at that bag of coke for about two hours before, holding it up and finally breaking it open.

_"Are you sure you want to do that."_

**AN: I hope you like this. I truly enjoy writing it while I've got writers block with "The Other Side…" I won't be updating this as quickly as "Other Side" because "Other Side" is still my priority story. It's my first.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed**

**And be nice with criticism please.**


	2. Chapter 2

In case you couldn't tell, it switches from Axel POV to Roxas POV. Enjoy.

**Chapter 2 – He Doesn't Look a Thing Like Jesus**

Saix and I always used to take walks in the park when I got cravings. It always helped me to clear my mind to walk with Saix holding my hand, telling me stories. I can't believe he's been gone for five months. Today I found myself sitting in his blue McLaren **(1)**. He left that to me as well, but I still hadn't been able to drive it. I just couldn't without him by my side. I really wanted to cry for him, I just couldn't, I just can't cry anymore. Then my mind landed on drugs. So I came to the park, there would never be a sweet voice comforting me with stories again, but I still had the memories. They would have to do.

After walking around the park for Gods know how long, I decided I wanted to visit the bench Saix and I met at, and occasionally had very public displays of fucking. I smiled at that, it was my idea, Saix was very reluctant, but in the end he couldn't resist me. We actually got arrested for it once, much to his parents' displeasure, but it didn't stop us. Gods, I miss him so much.

As I neared the bench I noticed someone had beaten me to it, so I settled for leaning against a nearby tree while I watched the small blond. There was so much pain in his face, I felt bad for him. He looked like I looked when I finally realized there was something wrong with me. I couldn't take my eyes off of him; I couldn't help but want to help him. It seemed like I was compelled to do it.

Is this how Saix felt the first time he saw me? I just stood, watching him, feeling a bit like a stalker, for nearly two hours. He had taken out a bag of coke and was staring at it. Funny, he looked sober, yet he had a bag of coke. The he started crying. It broke my heart to see this beautiful blond teen, who reminded me so much of myself, crying over a bag of coke. I started to walk towards him, I was about 98% sure he was sober. If that was true, I didn't want him to open that bag. Almost as soon as that thought crossed my mind he ripped the bag open.

"Are you sure you want to do that?" I asked.

oOo

I looked up from the bag in my hands at the voice. It was a beautiful voice, but I couldn't get the image in focus. I could tell he was a man by the voice, and despite the darkness that had fallen, I could tell he had big red hair and was very tall. I felt something warm and wet fall down my face and realized why I couldn't get his image focused. Quickly wiping all traces of tears from my face and eyes, I took another look at him.

My God, he was gorgeous. His red hair spiked all around his face and his green eyes seemed like they saw all the way through to your soul. His pale skin was almost luminescent in the moonlight, which showed off the upside down teardrop tattoos he had under each eye. He doesn't look a thing like Jesus, but his eyes tell me he wants to 'save' me, yeah good luck, red.

"What do you care?" I hissed at him. A smirk, a sexy smirk, covered his previously saddened face.

"I don't want you to do something you'll regret." He sat down next to me, without even being invited, how rude. "My name's Axel, commit it to memory."

"I didn't ask, so why would I bother memorizing it?" I asked lazily.

"Good point. I just think that sometimes you need to talk to someone that understands. And sometimes it's easier to talk to someone you don't know."

"And telling me your name helps me _not_ know you." I asked skeptically

"Do you? Do you think you know me?"

"You're probably some sort of cop here to arrest me, or a shrink who thinks he can help me."

"If a cop saw me he'd probably arrest me, and a shrink would probably commit me. I mean look at me, I just scream loony bin escapee. But I won't say I don't _want_ to help you, and I'm not dense enough to think I can. I just thought I'd offer you a stranger to talk to, someone who won't judge you, who'll just listen. So, I'll ask you again, are you sure you want to do that?" He pointed at the bag in my hands. The truth was, no, I didn't want to do it, but since when does what I want mean anything.

"Does it matter? My wants mean nothing."

"They mean everything. You are the only person who can truly save you. Someone else may be able to help, but _you_ have to _want_ to be helped. Therefore you're wants are all that matter. So what do you want?"

"I don't want to be a druggie, I want my friends and family to like me, _I_ want to like me." I confided in the gorgeous stranger.

"So what are you going to do with that bag?"

I'm gonna throw it out. No, I won't be able to. I handed the bag to him and his eyes widened a bit. "Get rid of it," was all I could say.

oOo

"Get rid of it."

Yes, I'm getting somewhere. His cerulean eyes were practically begging me to help him. I nodded at him, placing the bag in my coat. This was headed for the sewers. I promised Saix I would stay clean and I planned to keep that promise. "So do you want to talk to me?" I asked carefully.

"No, I want to go home." He got up to leave.

"Hey kid, if you do want to talk I'll be at this bench every night." I called hoping he would take me up on the offer. Saix had really helped me and I really wanted to help this blond. I wanted to get to the bottom of him and save him, just like Saix save me.

As soon as I got home I dumped all the bag's contents into the toilet and flushed it. Then I threw the bag away and laid down in mine and Saix's bed. His smell was gone now. I did all I could to keep as much of his smell around as I could but it was useless, time was erasing him. So every day I used his brand of toothpaste and mouthwash, his brand of shampoo and conditioner, every once and a while I used his cologne, and I smoked his brand of cigarettes, or used to, I quit a month ago. I was trying to quit when Saix took a turn for the worse. I kinda just gave up on quitting at that point.

For the first time in months, however, I found I had something to look forward to. Blondie was going to have to get used to me. I was gong to make him my business whether he wanted it or not.

oOo

"Hey Rox, why are you walking funny?" My younger brother Sora asked. He's two years younger than me and my parents favor him. In fact, my dad doesn't even invite me to his house. Sora has to go every other weekend, but me, no, he doesn't want to see me and I can't blame him. I wouldn't want to see me either. By the way, my parents are divorced. I used to protect Sora from all the yelling, then I'd go out and get high, that's how this all started.

"What do you mean, Sora?" I played stupid. It's not like I want him to know the truth. _'Oh, you mean this limp. I let Seifer shove his dick up my ass repeatedly for a bag of coke. Then I gave it to a red-haired freak. But you're supposed to stay innocent to all of this, so pretend I didn't say anything.'_ No, that wouldn't work.

"You're limping, Roxas." Sora insisted.

"No I'm not. Leave me alone So, I'm having a bad day."

"Well it's gonna get worse 'cause mom wants a family dinner before I leave tomorrow for dad's house." Sora said sheepishly.

"Goddamnit!" I cursed.

"See you at dinner!" Sora ran off. Wonderful, a dinner with my brother and mother, which means awkward conversations and awkward silences. Not to mention I would probably start crying again as soon as I reached my room.

Well dinner wasn't as bad as I thought. Mom mostly talked to Sora while I silently picked at my food. Surprisingly I managed to stop crying by the time I went to dinner, although I probably looked like shit after crying so long. During dinner my thought went to that red head in the park, damnit what's his name? Oh well.

"Roxas!" Mom yelled, making me jump out of my thoughts.

"Jesus Christ, what!" I yelled back.

"Don't say the lord's name in vain. I asked you why you told your friends you were in rehab; I had a good cover for you?"

"Friendships based in lies don't often work out." I said lazily and sunk back into my own thoughts. After a few more minutes of silent thought I looked up from my plate to see that Sora had left and it was just me and Mom. Shit!

"So what did you do today?" Mom asked suspiciously.

"I went out with Sora and our friends."

"After that." Her voice took on a cruel tone.

"I took a walk in the park."

"Cut the shit Roxas. Sora told me you talked to Seifer. I know what that kid went to Juvie for. You bought drugs didn't you?" She yelled.

"No…"

"Don't lie, your eyes are all red, you look like shit, and no one's seen you since lunch!"

"I didn't do any drugs, nor did I buy any, I don't have money." Technically that's not lying, right? I didn't do them, and I didn't pay for them, at least not with money.

"Get out of my house." She said quietly.

"What?!"

"Get out of my house!" She yelled.

"You can't…"

"You're eighteen years old, yes I can. Now get out of my fucking house!" She screamed grabbing my arm, dragging me to the door and throwing me out. I threw my arms out to catch my fall, scraping them badly, I left a blood stain. My knee was throbbing from the impact. Great! I'm crying again, but not from the physical pain. I didn't do anything wrong, the redhead convinced me to 'Just say no'. Why am I being kicked out? I looked up at her cold eyes and she slammed the door closed.

**(1) It's a sports car () **

**Awww, poor Roxy. Maybe a certain redhead can make him feel better. Anyway, sorry for that cliffhanger ending. I don't know when I'll update again. Hopefully soon.**

**Thanks for Reviews, Favs, and Alerts**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 – He Doesn't Look a Thing Like Jesus**

"Mom kicked me out, can I stay with you, dad?" I asked. Slam! Another door in the face. Where the fuck am I supposed to go. "Can I use your phone?"

_"Get off my stoop before I call the police."_

"But I'm your son."

_"Beat it."_

Great! Just fucking brilliant. Hayner's house isn't far from here; I guess I'll go see if I can stay with him. I tried to walk fast, I even ran a little, but it was still about eleven o' clock by the time I got there. It took Hayner some time to answer the door. "Hey, Rox. Uh…do you know what time it is?"

"Yeah…sorry. My mom kicked me out. I was wondering if I…" I started.

"Sorry, my mom said you're not allowed to stay here, or visit. Actually, I'm not even supposed to talk to you."

My face dropped, "Well…can I use your phone?"

"Hold on, I'll go get my cell." Hayner closed the door the door before running into the house. At least he didn't slam it. When he came back I called all of my friends, Sora's friends, and even Seifer in desperation. Everyone denied me, usually because of 'parents'. My mom apparently called everyone we knew. The only exception was Seifer, he had promptly told me to 'fuck off'.

Once again, I ended up in the park. I think this is the same bench too, and tonight it was my bed. Or so I thought, it took forever to finally fall asleep. Maybe from my troubling thoughts or the dropping temperature, but I'd guess that I didn't fall asleep until one thirty.

oOo

I rolled over in bed, reaching for Saix, only to feel air and realize my lover was six feet under. This was a wonderful way to start the day. Now I would have to take a walk before work. Sighing, I rolled out of bed, literally, I think I may have bruised my elbow. Fifteen minutes later I dragged myself off the floor and into the bathroom. After going through my normal routine, successfully making myself smell as similar to Saix as possible, I was ready.

By six o' clock I was walking around the park, with my mp3 player blasting loud enough for other people to hear, I'm sure. Although no one usually gets too close to me. My face tattoos and Hot Topic clothing make sure of that. It took about an hour of walking and singing out loud, which earned some stares, to forget about wanting drugs and focus on the rumbling in my stomach. _Restaurant_, yeah terrible name but good food, was very close to my work, so I decided I'd head that direction. This meant I'd be passing my bench, which always gave me good memories.

When I got to my bench I immediately went into worry mode, something Saix used to do all the time around me. My cute little Blondie was sleeping, hopefully not dead, on my bench, and looking very cold. It got down to fifty degrees **(1)** last night, and he only had a tight t-shirt and a pair of pants on. When I got closer to him I noticed he was shivering like crazy. I reached my gloved hand out to shove him a little, "Hey kid, wake up."

"Mmm…gimme my blanket Sora…m cold."

"I thought I told you to commit my name to memory. It's Axel. A-X-E-L. Got it memorized? No, you don't, you called me Sora."

"Axel?" The kid's eyes opened. "Gah, I knew it started with an 'A'. What are you doing in my room, and why's it so cold." Wow is he out of it.

"Uh, kid…your sleeping in the park and it's about sixty two degrees out." He looked around, like he was finally realizing what happened. Gods, he's shivering so badly. I stood up from my kneeling position in front of Blondie and pulled my coat off. Thankfully this was one of my shorter coats, and that I had a blazer and t-shirt on underneath it. "Here." I said handing it to him. He quickly sat up and wrapped it around himself.

"Th-thanks." He shivered. He was so cute sitting there in my 'to large' coat. Why was he sleeping in the park? He said he was going home last night. I slept in the park, way back when, because I lost the house when my mom died. So why was he? Hopefully he'll talk to me over some food.

"Hey, do you have anywhere to be?" I asked. He frowned at that and tear started filling his eyes. I didn't want him to cry, crap. I suck at this, what would Saix do? Fuck.

"No." He said, holding back his tears.

"Can I buy you breakfast? You don't even have to talk, unless you want to." I asked.

"Okay." He said after a moment of thought.

_At Restaurant_

"…so I don't get why I was kicked out. I let you get rid of the stuff. She's just a complete bitch. I don't have anything. She wouldn't let me go back in to get anything, not even a coat! Thanks for this, by the way." Blondie lifted his arms to show off my coat, I nodded in acknowledgement. I could imagine listening to this kid forever. He had the perfect voice, and a smile to die for, Gods his smile could light the room, and those eyes; I was drowning in them, which is a good way to die if you ask me. As for his mother, she was a completely unsupportive bitch. How is someone supposed to get better without a support system? "So that's why I was sleeping on the bench." He finished by shoving and entire pancake in his mouth.

I hid a smile, figuring he wouldn't like me laughing while we're taking about his homelessness, "So where are you going to sleep? I mean, everyone you know said 'no'?"

"Yeah, that park bench is my new home."

"What!?" I said a little too loud, gathering attention from the people around us. "You can't sleep on a bench, it gets too cold at night."

"Well what am I supposed to do? I have nowhere to go." Blondie insisted.

"I know you don't know me and I don't know you, hell I don't even know your name, but I have an extra room in my apartment. I'll allow you to stay as long as you want." I said hoping I didn't sound like a lunatic looking for a good fuck.

"Roxas." He responded.

"Is that some new way of saying 'hell no, get the fuck away from me."

"It's my name, moron. Oh sorry, Axel. A-X-E-L memorized." Roxas said teasingly. Gods I love that smile.

"How do you spell that Roxas?"

"R-O-X-A-S, got it memorized?" I smiled at his taunts.

"And what about my offer?" I asked.

"Alright, I have no where else to go anyway." He paused and his face became worried, though I could tell that it was fake. His eyes told he was joking, "You're not gonna rape me, are you?"

"I don't make a habit of it." I joked back. The waitress put the bill on the table and I grabbed it. Roxas had eaten three meals along with a pancake, the one he ate whole, that I had been unable to eat, so it was pricy. When I pulled out a wad of hundreds to pay Roxas eyes flashed wide.

"Are you a millionaire or something? All you got in your wallet is hundreds."

"My boyfriend was." I said sadly.

"Was?"

"Yeah, come on your can come to work with me." I said standing up waiting for him to follow.

oOo

Okay, I was going to leave the 'boyfriend' subject alone, for now. Red would have to talk eventually, especially if I was talking to him. I followed him out of the restaurant, and then shook my head when I realized I was staring at his ass. He did have a sexy walk, his hips moved beautifully. It wasn't overly feminine or manly it was just perfect, just Axel. Yep, I'm totally lusting over my new roommate.

After about ten minutes of walking we arrived at _Twilight Music Shop_. Sora came her a lot, however I never had enough money, drugs are expensive. Axel took out a key and unlocked the door. The lights were already on, weird. "Hey, Ax." I yelped at the unexpected voice behind me, jumping back into Axel, who caught me to keep me from falling.

"Hey Dem, why's the door locked. It's eight-thirty two, we're open." Axel asked as I straightened myself up.

"I figured you'd get it. You're late by the way." Dem scolded. "But if this cute little muffin is staying, I'll let you off with a warning." Dem was looking at me like he wanted to lick me head to toe.

"He's staying. Roxas this is my best friend and boss, Demyx. Demyx this is Roxas my new roommate."

"Roommate huh? That's a big step Axel, I'm happy for you. And Roxas, helloooo, any chance you're looking for a job, 'cause I really need some more help." Demyx said. He dressed a lot like Axel, I noticed. He also had strange hair like Axel, but his was some sort of cross between a mullet and a Mohawk. He looked way to happy, all the time, and that is just too much happy for me. However a job sounded good, since I now own nothing and am living in a stranger's home.

"Yeah, actually, I am." I answered.

"Oh good, you're hired. I just need you to fill out these forms. For records." He pulled me into the backroom, shoving papers into my hands and telling Axel to deal with the customer that just walked in.

**(1) Fahrenheit**

**As always I will try to update ASAP. **

**And I do like the end of the next chapter, so maybe it will be faster.**

**I am now writing chapter ten for this story, and I have a short oneshot that is related to it. More on that in chapter five.**

**Get ready for a naked Axel in chapter four.**

**Thanks for all reviews, favs, and alerts.**


	4. Chapter 4

Warnings: Nudity, past drug use

**Chapter 4 – He Doesn't Look a Thing Like Jesus**

Demyx made me Axel's apprentice for the day and told me I'd officially start working for him tomorrow. He was nice enough to give me the same hours as Axel as well. Although it may have been for selfish reasons, I think I heard him say something about wanting to sleep in. But I didn't mind, I was happy to be working with Axel, not so happy to be working at eight thirty in the morning, but at least it was with Axel. And I'd make some money at least.

"Hey, Roxy, we're closing for lunch, come on." Axel told me from behind the counter. "We'll get something fast, and then I want to get you some clothes. And don't complain, you can't come to work naked."

A quick lunch, two more hours at work, seven outfits, two coats, three sweatshirts, two pajama pants, seven pairs of boxers, and three pairs of shoes later we arrived at Axel's apartment. When he opened the door my jaw dropped. His apartment was bigger than my house. There was a lot of red, black, and white throughout the open living room, kitchen and dining room. The furniture, appliances, and electronics were all very modern looking and top of the line. "Wow." I said.

"Yeah, Saix had very expensive taste, but he let me pick the colors. And all of this stuff is really comfortable. Uh, you can use whatever you want mi casa es su casa. The remotes for the TV and surround sound are in the side table on the right, the game systems, I think we have them all, are under the TV, and the games are on the book shelf. We also have top of the line appliances in the kitchen. I think Demy restocked the fridge too, I'm not always good at that." I could believe that when I looked at Axel's thin frame.

"Okay, I guess I'll be in charge of grocery shopping. Is Saix your boyfriend?" I asked.

"Was." He responded quietly.

"There's that word again what do you mean 'was'. Did you break-up?"

"No, he died. He had a brain tumor so we knew he was dying, but I loved him. Of course his parents hate me."

"Why?" I was curious.

"Follow me, I'll show you your room." I complied though, admittedly, I was a little frustrated at him avoiding my question. However as we started walking he continued. "They never liked me, never thought I was good enough. Anyway, they're really pissed now," he pause outside a door, "because Saix left me everything he owned, even his $1,307,000 car. They really wanted to make money off of that, and the apartment." He opened the door. Much like the other room this one was very modern looking with top of the line electronics. The only difference was that this room was several shades of blue and white, rather that red, black, and white. It was wonderful, and it was mine, kind of. "You have a walk-in closet and a rather large bathroom with a steam shower and Jacuzzi. This is your space; I'll always knock before coming in, okay?"

"Yeah, thank you so much Axel. Why are you helping me?" I just couldn't understand why anyone would do this for me. Especially when my own parents refused to.

"I know what it's like."

"No you don't! You've probably never even had cough syrup, let alone any real drugs. You don't know anything!" I hate it when people try to relate to me. They don't know anything.

"My mom died when I was twelve," Axel dragged me with him to sit on the bed, "I don't have any other family and the house was auctioned off. Somehow I managed to escape social services but I had nowhere to go. After a month of living on the street, digging food out of trash cans, drinking rain water, freezing my ass off at night, I just wanted to stop feeling. I wanted to be with my mom. And I guess I kind of got it. Some man came up to me one night. He said for a hand job he'd make the pain go away.

"'What worse could happen,' I remember thinking to myself, so I did it. It was disgusting but could've been much worse. When I was done he gave me my first shot of heroin. It was great, everything just seemed to go away, so kept going to him, getting more and more. The sexual acts I performed got worse and worse. This went on for four years. I would let the man fuck me, he'd get me my drugs, I'd get completely fucked up and then I'd do it all over again. The bench you were sleeping on used to be my bed. I got so fucked up one night; I passed out on that bench, and woke up in the hospital. Saix had seen me, he knew I was overdosing on something and he was able to save me.

"Saix had me completely off all drugs by the time I was eighteen. That's about the same time we started dating, even though I had been living with him for two years. He told me he wouldn't date me until I was sober. Then once I got sober he told me why we couldn't be more than friend while I still relied on drugs. He told me it was because he was dying of a brain tumor and he only had a few years left. And he was right, I've been sober four years and it's been so fucking hard staying away from drugs. Especially when you just handed me that coke…"

"You didn't do it did you?" I had stayed quiet for his story but I was worried that I ruined his sobriety, I would never forgive myself.

"No…no, I flushed it. But I wanted it, and five years ago I would not have flushed it. You asked me why his parent hate me, that's why. I was sixteen, and he was twenty when I moved in. His parents didn't like it. When he bailed me out of jail for drug possession, a few months after I moved in, they told him to get rid of me or they'd disown him. It was an empty threat but he told me even if it wasn't he wouldn't have kicked me out. They always bitched at him 'Get that druggie whore out of your house, he just wants money for more drugs.' And Saix would respond, 'But I love him and I want to help him.'

"When I was nineteen I had been sober for a year, and he bought me my Lamborghini. He said it was for a year of sobriety and my birthday. His parents did disown him for that but he had already inherited his dad's company, so nothing really changed. Huh, I guess I own it now. At least I make a profit on it.

"So no, I don't know exactly what you've been through, but I have my own scars, and I think I can make a pretty accurate assumption of what you're going through. I know it sucks to be alone while you're struggling to keep yourself from drugs. Your mom was wrong, she should've been supportive. I don't know what I would've done without Saix."

Okay, not even the cruelest shrink could make that shit up, Axel wasn't lying. Maybe he does understand, maybe he can save me. Oh Red, I want you to save me, I want a happy ending. I want all of my pain to be gone. Axel was looking quite depressed sitting next to me. His normally bright green eyes had dulled and it was a sad sight to see. Before I knew it my arms were wrapped around him, holding him tight. I didn't want to see him upset; I wanted to take away his pain. He brought his arms around me and we sat like that for hours. I don't know how many hours, but it felt right, it felt good.

oOo

It felt good to hold onto my little blond, who was still wearing my coat. I could stay like this forever. It wasn't sexual either, it was just comfort and it was nice. I hate to say this but it may be better than Saix. No, Saix loved you and you loved him. Roxas is just a friend comforting you and needing his own comfort. At some point Roxas fell asleep, so I took his shoes and socks off and tucked him into his new bed.

oOo

I knew I wasn't in my bed. This bed was way too comfortable. I slowly opened my eyes and was bombarded with blue. The memories quickly came flooding back into my head. Axel had invited me to live with him, and I fell asleep hugging him. He must have tucked me in. He really was sweet. I saw a note on my nightstand when I turned over.

Hey Roxy,

There's a new toothbrush and tooth paste in the

bathroom. I also left you some shampoo and

conditioner, and hung your clothes up in your closet.

There's also some towels on the shelf in your closet.

And a very bright and shining morning to you.

Axel

I smiled. His hand writing was a little girly, but he's so thoughtful. It was so nice to be taken care of for once, rather than being the one who had to do the caring. My parents were always too busy fighting to take care of Sora and me, so I took care of him. I made sure he was fed and clothed, that his homework was done, and that he never heard the fighting. This started when I was eight, then by the time I was sixteen I was too drugged up to do it. Luckily my parents got divorced around that time and my mother was able to take care of him. I missed him.

After going through my morning routine, and putting on clean clothes. I grabbed Axel's coat and went to find him. Behind the first door I opened was a closet, but the second door led to a bedroom. I walked over to the bed, which had red blankets and pillows, lots of pillows, and Axel was sleeping on his stomach without a shirt. He has a gorgeous back. I stuck out a hand and pushed on his perfect back, he's so soft. "Axel. Hey Red, wake up. We got work in an hour."

Then he rolled over, legs pulling the blanket with them, revealing him in all his naked glory. "Oh. My. God." I looked away in an attempt to be polite but I couldn't help looking back at him. He was skinny, sure, but he had toned muscles in all the right places, he had an eight-pack, and damn, he was well endowed. "You look really…really good naked." I said before I could stop myself. A wicked smirk spread across his face. "And the hair color's natural, I've been wondering."

Apparently that was too much for Axel because he rolled over clutching his stomach, laughing his naked ass off. "Holy hell Roxy…that was…the greatest reaction…ever."

"Okay, okay, calm down and get ready for work. I'm going to make breakfast. And I brought your coat back." I held his coat out to him and his laughter died down somewhat.

"Keep it Roxy; I like it better on you." I smiled a toothy grin at this, and his face lit up at the sight of it. I would smile more just to see him like this, even if he had clothes on, he was so beautiful. And I loved the way he called me Roxy. No one else ever called me that, so no bad memories came with it. It was just something between me and Axel. I liked that, I liked it a lot.

**So the ending was a bit of comic relief after Axel told his story. I hope it worked**

**Thanks for all reviews, favs, and alerts, I appreciate them.**

**I'll update ASAP**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 – He Doesn't Look a Thing Like Jesus**

"So do you always sleep naked?" Roxas asked me as I walked into the kitchen, nearly having an orgasm at the marvelous aromas filling the room. My Gods, there were omelets, and pancakes, bacon and sausage, and oh so glorious apple juice.

"Um…yeah." I answered his question, "Is this for me too?" I nearly begged. I can cook, or at least the end result is good, it's best no to mention the stuff in between, but I'm incredibly lazy. A spread like this was rare for me to see.

"Of course, it's the least I can do since I'm not paying rent." That toothy grin of his lit up his face as he spoke. My next action, which was truly worthy of Demyx, shamed me greatly. Usually I have much better composure. I flew across the kitchen and utterly glomped my poor blond to the floor. Luckily he was giggling, so I mustn't have upset him. "Axel, you're getting me all wet." Yeah, I just got out of the shower and only had pants on. I don't like to get my shirt wet while I air dry my hair. That's the only way I can get it to spike right.

I pushed myself off of Roxas chest so I was just straddling his legs. "Sorry Roxy, but Saix never cooked, and I'm too lazy, among other things. The last time I had a real breakfast, not from a restaurant, was when my mom was alive. I got a little too exited I guess."

"I thought it was cute."

"Did you?" I stood up, holding my hand out to help Blondie. He gratefully took it; our hands lingered together for a moment. His hand felt so right in mine, it was just perfect. He then let go and gestured to the table.

"Let's eat, the food's gonna get cold." He said and I obliged.

oOo

The morning went by rather quickly. Axel drove us to work in his sweet ass Lamborghini, I made my first sale, and Axel knocked an entire shelf of Disco CDs over. After helping him clean that disaster up we decide to go to lunch. Since it's incredibly difficult to get a parking space at this time of day, we walked.

Restaurant, was better known for it's breakfast food and was relatively close to the music shop, which meant it wasn't too crowded and Axel and I had more time to eat. Axel decided to talk after we made our orders. "Would you get mad at me if I asked you a question and said you didn't have to answer it if you don't want to?"

"As long as you don't force me I don't mind." I really didn't, he has a wonderful voice.

"When was your first time doing drugs?" Even though Axel had told me his life story I didn't feel obligated to answer this question. I just wanted to, I wanted Axel to know.

"I was fourteen. My parents were having an awful fight. I had Sora, my brother who was twelve, in his room with his headphones on, and I went to get a better look at them. They said such horrible things to each other, and then my dad hit her. He hit my mom, so I attacked him but he was much stronger that me. He threw me to the ground and I ran. I got Sora and made him go to Riku's. Then I walked around for hours and I walked into Seifer.

"I expected him to beat the shit out of me, since he'd been bullying me for years. But apparently I was already crying, I do that a lot, and he felt bad for some reason. He gave me a free joint and it was like all of my problems floated away. And that started my drug addiction."

"Your dad hit your mom?" Axel asked, "Was that a regular occurrence?"

"No, that was the only time and he stopped drinking after it. But they still got divorced, which I think was good. Together they suck at parenting, but apart, they're good to Sora. They got divorced at the perfect time. I was way too out of it to keep taking care of Sora. A year later they sent me to rehab."

"I've never been to rehab, is it bad?" Axel asked.

"I hated it, but it got me sober, and now I'm talking with you. So ultimately I guess it's not terrible, since the results can be good. Ignoring the fact that my mom kicked me out."

"Well I'm happy it brought you here too." Axel said. I smiled and he returned it. He has such a beautiful smile; I love to look at it.

_"Roxas!? Oh my God, Roxas! How are you? Where are you sleeping? I'm so sorry my mom said 'no'."_ Olette came running over to our table with Hayner and Pence following her.

"Hi Olette. Pence, Hayner." I greeted. Why did they have to interrupt us? I was having a wonderfully vivid daydream about those lips all over me. I want to hear his voice not theirs.

"So." Olette insisted.

"What?" I asked.

"I asked you questions." Olette said offended.

"How am I? Better than Friday. Where am I sleeping? Well, Friday I slept on a park bench nearly freezing my ass off, but luckily I've made a new friend and I now have a room at Axel's." I gestured to Axel, who remained silently observant.

"Man, I'm so sorry. My mom just doesn't want me around you when you're doing drugs." Hayner apologized.

"Goddamnit, I graduated form rehab, I'm not doing drugs."

"Well your mom thinks you are, and she told all of our parents. And, Roxas, you went to Seifer, he's a drug dealer."

"You know, I wish I had friends I could go to and say 'hey, I bought some drugs with my virginity, but I decided not to do them. I gave them to some redhead to get rid of. Isn't that awesome, I was able to say no.' But instead you all assume, 'Oh he's on 'em again, let's throw him to the wolves and see if he survives.' But what am I talking about, Axel would believe me, I guess that makes him my true friend." Their faces looked hurt at my words but I didn't care, they hurt me first. "I wanna go Axel, I need to breathe." Axel quickly got up leaving a hundred dollar bill, that's quite a tip, that'll make the waitress's day, and escorted me out.

oOo

"You know, I wish…" Roxas ranted. Okay, things have the potential to get bad real quick now. I pulled out a hundred dollar bill to have it ready for a quick escape. Of course that meant the waitress was getting a 110% tip. Roxas had tears in his eyes now. Gods I hope I can keep him from drugs after this. I hope I can keep myself from opening a can of whoop ass on those friends of his. "I wanna go Axel, I need to breathe." Laying down the hundred, I quickly grabbed Roxas and took him away from those 'friends' and into the park, so we could walk, or 'breathe' as Roxas had put it.

"I'm being a bitch, aren't I?" Roxas asked me after a few minutes of walking.

"Have you ever given your friends a reason to not believe you? From the sounds of it, you stayed away form them when you got really bad."

"Yeah, I hate lying, so I stooped hanging out with them so I wouldn't be able to."

"Then no, you're not being a bitch. I agree that a friend should be there for you, and believe you."

"Is that why you're such a good friend?"

"I think that's a matter of opinion." I smiled down at him. He considers me a friend. I was doing a happy dance on the inside.

oOo

"Is Demyx here?" A beautiful man, with blue hair covering the right half of his face asked from the other side of the counter.

"Zexy!?" Before I could say anything Demyx flew out of the back room, jumped off the counter and onto the man sending them both to the floor, spreading light kisses all over the blue haired man's face.

"Axel, I think Demyx just killed a customer." I yelled, Axel ran out of the backroom and looked over the counter.

"Don't worry Roxy, Zexion's got a Demyx callous." Axel said grinning widely. I looked at him confused and he seemed to notice because he then explained, "Zexion is Demyx's boyfriend and after you know Dem for a while you get used to his glomps. We call it a Demyx callous."

"So he jumps off counters onto everyone he knows?" I asked warily and Axel chuckled. And damn, believe me when I say he has the sexiest laugh I've ever heard.

"No, usually it's not so dramatic, but Zex is his boyfriend and this is the first time in two days that they've seen each other." I looked over the counter again, to see Demyx helping Zexion, who looked quite unruffled despite the fact that he was just glomped, off the floor.

"Oh, Zexy, this is Roxy, Axel's new friend I told you about." Demyx said pointing to me. Zexion shook his head to make his hair fall into place and held out his hand to me.

"Zexion." Was all he said. I grabbed his hand and shook.

"Roxas."

"Well don't get too mushy on us. Demyx may have competition." Axel joked at our emotionless greeting. How did this aloof blue haired man become friends with two overly social goofs?

"How did all of you get to be friends?" I asked, hoping I didn't sound rude. Holy crap, I actually care. For the first time in years I care."

"Well, Zexy and I are kind of, high school sweethearts. Zexy's two years older than me, the same age as Saix. You know Saix?" Demyx waited for me to nod, "Well Zexion and Saix were good friends, so when me and him started going out I ended up being friends with him too. There's also Marluxia, and Larxene, she can be very bitchy but she scares the shit out of people, so she's good to have around. Then there's Luxord, Xigbar, and Xaldin, but they moved away. We still talk, but it's not likely that they'll visit anytime soon.

"Anyway, when Zexy and Saix were twenty, and I was just out of high school, Saix found Axel. They ended up moving in together and we all became friends with Axel. He was the baby of the group, at sixteen. Now you are cutie."

I scowled at Demyx, "I'm eighteen, that's legally an adult."

"You're still the youngest Roxy, but I'll make sure no one calls you a baby. I remember I hated that." Axel said.

"Thank you, Axel." I smiled at him knowing he would smile back, letting me see that gorgeous face lit up, I wasn't disappointed. "So how old is everyone?"

"I'm twenty-two, Dem is twenty-four, and Zex is twenty-six." Axel listed off.

"You don't talk much do you Zexion?" He looked up at my question, he had been staring at Demyx. His one visible deep blue eye was gorgeous, and yet, I still found everything about Axel more appealing.

"No." He answered simply. I smiled again as he went back to staring at Demyx.

"Do you work here too?"

"No." He answered without looking at me, and it wasn't rude, it was just…him. I don't know how to explain it; just that he could basically ignore you without being rude.

"Where do you work? Ah…if you work." I asked.

"Medical Center." He said looking up at me with the slightest hint of a smile.

"Hey, I got five syllables." I nudged Axel.

"He must like you Roxy; I didn't get five syllables until after two months. Although I don't think I was trying to hard." Axel responded.

"Zexy's being modest. He is the head Psychologist at the Medical Center. Aaaaand, he's the youngest. I'm so proud of him." Demyx captured Zexion's lips briefly.

"Me, you own your own music store, and you've composed the music for several movies." Zexion smiled, yes smiled, at Demyx before recapturing his lips. Then Demyx dragged him into the backroom, where moaning was soon heard from.

"Okay, lets close up Roxy, you don't want to hear or see what happens when you reunite a Demy with a Zexy." I laughed as we quickly closed up trying to avoid listening to the moaning coming from the backroom. After driving home, yes I'm calling it home, I made dinner, and then Axel and I played Go Fish while watching TV. I was happier than ever, because this man decided he wanted to save me. And yet there was a nagging in back of my head that wanted to see my family and friends again, to have them proud of me.

**I did a Zemyx oneshot about how these two got together. So if anyone is interested in Demyx and Zexion's relationship you can go to my profile, and read the story called, "One Fine Melody". It's your choice because it's not necessary for this story.**

**I'm sorry about the slow chapter, not much really happened. However I promise 'things' will happen in chapter six. And I believe I can safely say that chapter seven is my favorite chapter. We find out what happens when Axel cooks. It's my attempt at comedy.**

**Thanks for all reviews, favs, and alerts.**


	6. Chapter 6

Warnings: The usual swearing and brief (very brief) mature content

**Chapter 6 – He Doesn't Look a Thing Like Jesus**

The next two weeks passed by uneventfully. Axel and I got up at seven, got to work at eight thirty, went to lunch at twelve, went back to work at one and got home by five. I would make dinner and then Axel and I would watch TV and play card and dice games, talking about ourselves.

It was during a game of Farkel **(1) **that I realized I have a crush on Axel, although, if I was being completely truthful, it was more than a crush. I think I love Axel. He makes me feel like I can be me without being ashamed. We have so much in common, and he does everything within his power to make me happy. It's just so easy to be around him. He makes me like me.

This wouldn't have been a problem except that his boyfriend of four years died five and a half months ago. Most of his stories involved Saix, which I can't blame. The only happy time in his life was his time with Saix. How would he react to me loving him when he loves Saix. Ah…unrequited love, just what a recovering drug addict needs.

I turned over in my bed to see what time it was, 3:00 AM. Great and I got work tomorrow. Being in love sucks. I just want to sleep, but no, overtime I close my eyes I see him touching me, placing his lips over every inch of my skin…then I open my eyes thinking about what an asshole I am for loving someone who just wants to be friends. Then I have to ease the throbbing pain in my groin, which makes me feel even worse because, of course, I can only think of Axel.

Sighing, I got to my feet. Maybe Axel has some sleeping pills. Shuffling out of my room and into the living room, I quickly entered the guest bathroom. I opened the 'medicine' cabinet but Axel seems to take sobriety very seriously because there's not so much as children's aspirin in here. Some tooth paste, mouth wash, soap, razors, no medicine, nothing. Good God Axel, what if you get a headache. I heard a squeak in the floor behind me and jumped, knocking down all the contents of the cabinet.

"What're you doing Roxy?" Axel asked from the doorway, a sleepy expression on his face but not in his voice.

"Looking for sleeping pills." I said innocently, not understanding his concern.

"Was it a craving?" He asked

"What do you mean…oh." Realization hit me, he thought I was looking for a fix, "I wasn't even thinking about that Axel. I just couldn't sleep." Great, the man I've grown to love thinks I'm still doing drugs. Can this day get any worse?

"Okay, I believe you. I'm not trying to accuse you. I just wanted to help you if you needed it. I'm worried about you. You've been looking kind of tired lately. I just want to make sure you're okay."

"So you don't think I'm doing drugs again?" If this were my mom she would've had me arrested. Axel believes me?

"I would know if you were doing drugs, I was a drug addict for six years. It's just, the fact that you haven't been sleeping tells me there's something wrong." Axel said. Aw, he noticed I wasn't sleeping. He didn't think I was digging around for drugs; he's just worried there's something bothering me. And now he's looking at me with hunger in his eyes. Huh. Okay that's new.

Before I knew it my dreams were playing out in real life. Axel's lips were on mine, our tongues battling, and his hands were everywhere. A certain part of my anatomy was growing at the sensation of finally getting what I wanted, what I've been dreaming about for weeks, then it stopped. "Gods, Roxas. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…I-I I'm sorry, I attacked you…I'm sorry…" Axel stuttered out, horrified at his actions. Then he ran off in the direction of his room. I didn't understand, it's not like I wasn't participating, I wanted it too.

I made my way to his room. He was laying face down in a pile of pillows. "Axel?" No answer. I walked over to his bed placing a hand on his bare back. Climbing onto him, I started placing light kisses along his neck. "I've wanted you to do that for weeks." Axel turned his head to look at me sitting on his back.

"But I didn't ask, I just jumped in, not caring how you felt. Saix would've asked." Axel said with that depressed look he had the first time we hugged.

"Axel, you aren't Saix, I'm not you. We are three completely separate people. I should act like Roxas, you should act like you, and Saix, and I know you love him, but he isn't involved in this. He's your inspiration, and he loved you for you, not for being like him. He loved you for being you. And that's how I love you." Axel's eyes widened at my words, and I had to go back and review what I said to figure out what had shocked him. Oh my God, I said I love you, shit!

I tried to push myself off of him so I could run and hide but Axel held onto me, and turned over so we were facing each other. And then I saw it, there was excitement and passion in those intense green eyes I fell in love with. "Roxas, I love you too." He confessed, the passion and love was in his eyes but his voice had a hesitant tone in it. "Saix told me to move on and be happy again." The confidence was back in his voice. "I didn't think it would happen this fast." He pulled me down to him and captured my lips again. His hands continued exploring my body, and mine were finally all over his ripped body. This was so much better than my dreams.

Axel's hands traveled lower and lower until they were at the waistband of my boxers. I moaned into the kiss at the feeling of his hand in my boxers. God he was good at this. My hands went down his body, making their way to his jeans, the only thing keeping me from him since he never wore underwear. I let out another moan when he began moving his hips into me. This was so much better than Seifer. Seifer. Pain. No. Stop. "Axel stop!" I said panicked. He stopped right away. I was impressed by that, he was as hard as me now but still he stopped without question. "I can't."

"Okay," was all he said. There was no hate or contempt in his voice just a quiet understanding that I wasn't ready.

"That's it, you're not mad." I asked quietly.

"I remember what you said to your friends at the restaurant." Axel said. God, he remembers, he pays attention to everything I say. That day I told Hayner, Pence, and Olette that I paid for my drugs with my virginity. "I'm not going to force or rush you Roxy. I love you. I would never hurt you."

"Thank you Axel, I'm sorry I…started this," I gestured to his pants, knowing his pain because I was in the same predicament, "and now I'm denying you." I really felt bad for this; he was being so good about it. Good God I'm a regular waterworks, once again tears were filling my eyes.

"It's okay Roxas, I don't mind." Axel grabbed my face gently and made me look into his eyes. "I did this so many times to Saix. I would get caught up in the moment, and then I'd remember Xemnas."

"Xemnas?" I asked, tears subsiding for now. I knew that name, where did I know it from?

"The dealer I let fuck me."

"Xemnas." I said with fear in my voice, I remembered.

"What?" He said catching on to my fear.

"I owe him money," I said, voice shaky, "I was sent to rehab before I could pay him. I-I forgot about it."

"Maybe he did too." Axel said hopefully, but he knew better.

"I hope so." I was still worried, Xemnas always got his payment. I fell asleep in Axel's arms, sometime around four. Xemnas haunted my dreams.

oOo

For the first time in five and a half months, I woke up with someone else in my bed. I knew it wasn't Saix and couldn't help but feel somewhat guilty, even though he had told me to move on. I took in a deep breath and my nose was immediately assaulted by soft blond hair. I smiled, Roxy, he felt so good in my arms. He fit so well next to my body it was like he was made to blend with the curves of my body. I had no more doubts, I love Roxas, I really do. Not only was he absolutely adorable, but he loved cooking, his smile makes my day, in the few weeks I've known him he's become passionate again. He now has goals, he didn't when I met him. It's all the small details that I love about him, and I can't help it. Everything about him is just perfect.

My first love was with the man who saved me, and my second, and if I'm thinking truthfully, greater love is with the man I decided to save. At first I thought he was just like me, but he is different, he's his own person. And he is absolutely wonderful.

I wasn't mad about last night. I knew it was wrong to make a move on Roxas, but I lost control. I just attacked him in the bathroom. I took advantage of him. When he came after me, I was surprised; I hadn't expected that, not when I knew how he paid for that coke. I thought he would hate me for attacking him like that.

But no, Roxas, the amazing person he is, came after me and told me he felt the same. My Roxy, loves me too. Saix, it may be possible for me to be happy again. I hope you like him, 'cause I love him.

Of course I couldn't just leave it at the confessions; I had to attack him again. It's been five and a half months and Roxy is so tempting but that's no excuse. It's very lucky that I've got great self control. When I heard that, 'Axel stop!' there was so much fear and pain in his voice, and I stopped immediately. I had gone too far too fast. I felt so bad that I had brought up bad memories for him. I don't want him just for sex, though that'd be a plus. I would prefer him happy than to ever have sex again. All because I fell in love.

And now I have to worry about Xemnas. I haven't seen hi m for five years, but I know he never lets anyone skimp out on his money. He'll be looking for Roxas, and I'm going to make sure I'm there to protect him form that bastard. But right now I'm going to make my Roxy some breakfast in bed, hopefully without burning the kitchen down. The food always turns out great but for some reason I can't cook without something catching on fire. I think the kitchen is against me, it must throw random objects into the fire while I'm not looking. I often find myself yelling at the cheeky bastard. Yes, I yell at my kitchen, leave me the fuck alone. Kitchen, here I come bitch!

**(1) Dice game**

**I think if I were to name this chapter I would name it 'All because I Fell in Love' I seem to have a thing for long titles.**

**The next chapter would be called 'Axel vs. Kitchen' **

**Hope you enjoyed it, and sorry about abruptly ending a potential lemon.**

**I think if I wrote a full lemon I would leave the reader saying "wtf!"**

**I wrote a oneshot lemon, but haven't uploaded it because it's terrible.**

**Thanks for reviews, favs, and alerts**


	7. Chapter 7

Warning: Some Serious Swearing because Axel and the Kitchen don't get along

**Chapter 7 – He Doesn't Look a Thing Like Jesus**

I woke up to Axel screaming and banging things around. "You Goddamn fucking bastard. I give you all the best appliances and this is how you repay me! Ahh…" That was followed by some more banging and what sounded like a glass breaking. "Ha, take that, bitch!" Is he yelling and the kitchen? I wondered, starting to laugh at Axel's crazy antics.

A few moments later Axel came into the room. His hair was smoking, face flustered and spattered with pancake mix, three heavily bandaged fingers, several scorch marks in his red apron, a small fire extinguisher was hanging from his belt, and a tray of food rested in his hands. "Morning, Roxy. I made you breakfast." Axel smiled at me, and I smiled back trying to keep myself from laughing at his appearance.

"And you had to win a war to do that, by the sounds of it." I teased unable to hold in my laughter.

"Eh…the kitchen and I don't get along too well." Axel said sheepishly, as he placed the food, which smelled amazing, in front of me.

"Is that why you don't cook?" I asked taking a bight of the blueberry pancake.

"That and I'm incredibly lazy." Axel answered.

"Oh my God Axel, this is amazing!" I gushed, shoving more into my mouth.

"Well good. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a battlefield to clean." Axel said with determination and I continued to shovel food into my mouth. It's a shame he doesn't cook more, because this was absolutely astounding.

After eating breakfast I took a quick shower and headed to the kitchen with my tray. The sight had me stopping dead in my tracks, and then dropping to the floor in laughter. Axel had not been exaggerating about the battlefield. Nowhere was safe. Pancake batter covered every surface, even the ceiling. There was broken glass and water all over a bowl of fruit that seemed to have caught on fire and it looked like the garbage can had been knocked over. Axel was picking up the various items of trash and putting them back where they belonged.

But what really had me laughing was Axel's cleaning attire. His tight black pants were tucked into a pair of bright yellow Doc Martins and over his loose button up white shirt was a new apron, which was also bright yellow. He had on a pair of elbow length rubber gloves, a black bandana over his nose and mouth , a black bandana holding back all of his hair, and finally a pair of goggles over his eyes.

Having noticed me, do to my hysterical laughter, he was now standing with his hands on his hips, and toe tapping wildly, glaring at me. "This is not funny Roxas." He said from behind the bandana, "I do something nice for you and you laugh at me."

"I'm…s-sorry…Axel…but you…h-have…to see it h-how…I see it." I managed to get out between laughs, "I woke up to you…screaming at the kitchen, at the kitchen, Axel. Then you come in the room looking like you're just out of battle. Now I come here." I waved my arms indicating the kitchen, "And it's like a fucking hazard zone. And you're all decked out in bright yellow looking ready to go for round two." Axel had started to crack up with me somewhere around 'hazard zone'. Once we finished laughing I started to help him clean, and changed my mind about thinking it a shame he didn't cook more. I saw Axel close his fingers in a drawer, "Mother fucker!" and was reminded of his bandaged fingers.

"Axel what happened to your fingers?" I asked.

"I just slammed them in a fucking drawer? Damn you mother fucking bastard of a kitchen."

"No, I mean earlier, pre rubber glove, I saw them bandaged. And how can you blame the kitchen for _you_ closing _your_ fingers in a drawer?"

"The damn kitchen's out to get me, that's how I can blame it! As for my fingers, I picked up a hot pan without an oven mitt while trying to put out a fire, so the pan ended up lingering in m hand longer than I would've liked, but don't worry, I put the fire out." Axel said first angrily and ending on a proud note.

"Who cares about the fire, what about your fingers?!" I exclaimed.

"Oh, uh, probably second degree, they'll be fine."

"Axel, I love your food, but I think you should stay away from the kitchen. It's a hazard to your health."

"So you think it's out to get me too. Hear that bitch; it's two against one now. You're going down you son of a bitch!"

Ugh…I give up.

oOo

"That damn kitchen is gonna get it next time." I told Roxas as we made our way through the parking garage.

"Axel, please no next time." Roxas pleaded.

"Don't worry Roxy, you'll be with me. That bastard won't be able to attack me with you watching my back." I looked down as I reassured Roxas, but he still seemed concerned.

"I suppose if I'm there you'll manage to stay out of harm's way."

"Good." I cheered as we arrived at my cars. Roxas headed towards the Reventon, but I had other ideas. Today I was going to drive Saix's McLaren for the first time since he died. "Roxy, we're gonna take the McLaren today." Roxas looked up at me confused.

"What's a McLaren?"

"It's the blue car next to the Reventon. It used to be Saix's. I've been less depressed lately so I want to drive it"

"Alright," Roxas said changing his directions. "This is nice, is it expensive." I could only laugh at that, which confused him even more.

"Just a bit." I managed to get out. (1)

oOo

As usual Axel and I went to Restaurant for lunch. We were laughing once again over the events of this morning when I was tackled off my chair and onto the floor. I knew we should've asked for a booth. "Oh Rox, I've missed you so much. Mom said you moved out, why'd you leave?" Sora was sitting on top of me with a pout on his face.

"So," I used his nickname, "get off me please." I finished.

"Sorry." He jumped up and reached a hand down to help me up. I took it.

"I didn't want to leave So, Mom kicked me out."

"Why."

"She doesn't trust me." I said as I sat back down in my chair, indicating that Sora should take the other one, which he gladly accepted.

"Sora!" My mother came into view, scolding Sora.

"No mom. You kicked him out and I never see him anymore. I'm sitting here, join me or not." Mom took the seat next to Sora glaring at me. A waitress quickly came over with two menu's.

"Will these two be joining you?" She asked cheerfully.

"It would appear so." Said Axel. The waitress happily handed Sora and Mom the two menus.

"Shall I put your orders on hold so you can all eat together?"

"Yes." Axel said. His mood had changed drastically since my mom arrived . He really doesn't like her. The waitress skipped away saying she'd be back.

"Hayner said you slept on a park bench." I nodded at Sora's question. "But it's been so cold." Sora said perplexed.

"I had no choice. _Mother,_" I said in disgust, "called all our friends parents to make sure I had no where to stay and dad hates me. So does Seifer, but I tried him in desperation."

"Seifer! Hayner said he's your dealer. You bought coke form him the day Mom kicked you out."

"Yes I did. But I didn't do it. I had Axel get rid of it for me."

"Oh, good for you, I'm proud." My heart danced at his words. That's what I wanted, someone to believe me. I had that with Axel but it felt good to know Sora believed me too. "Who's Axel?" I pointed to Axel who was sitting across from Sora.

"Hi! I'm Sora." Sora reached his hand over the table, knocking various items over, to shake Axel's hand. Axel quickly grabbed Sora's hand and smiled at him. Apparently Axel approved of Sora. "Nice to meet you Axel." Axel nodded in agreement. "Where do you sleep now?" Sora asked, while mom ordered their food.

"Well, Axel saw me, near hypothermia, and gave me his coat. After I told him I was homeless he invited me to live with him. I accepted. Now he's my boyfriend."

"What!" My mother said, a little too loud.

"Sorry, but I don't feel the need to talk or answer your questions. So shut up and ignore me like you usually do." I told my mother and she actually listened. Sora stood up walked around the table to Axel, and hugged him. Axel hugged back smiling again.

"I didn't know you were family." Sora let go, "Family needs more than a handshake."

"Thank you Sora, I'm happy to know you'll accept me."

"You kept my brother from freezing how could I not?" Sora took his seat again. "Rox, why didn't I know you're gay?"

"I never really had a preference. My life was drugs."

"I like that you're using past tense Roxy." Axel spoke up, "So what's your life now."

"Well, apparently it's wagging war on the 'bastard' kitchen with you." I teased Axel and we both cracked up again grabbing the attention of the entire restaurant. Sora and mom looked confused at the inside joke. After cooling down I said seriously, "No, really I just want to figure out what to do with my life and you, of course."

"Aww, thanks Roxy, you're my life too. And I'll help you figure out what to do with your life." Axel said happily. We continued on through lunch having a light conversation with Sora, while mom listened but didn't speak, which was good for me.

**(1) According to the McLaren is $1,300,000**

**I really enjoyed writing about Axel and that 'bastard' kitchen. And I hope you enjoyed reading it. This chapter was mainly Comedy, and getting things in place for future chapters. I hope it wasn't too boring.**

**Thanks for all reviews, favs, and alerts**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 – He Doesn't Look a Thing Like Jesus**

Axel and Demyx were in the backroom doing God knows what and I was putting some new stock on the shelves when the bell on the door jingled. "Good afternoon, and welcome to Twigh-" I stoped mid greeting when I stood up and saw who it was. Sora was standing in the doorway holding hands with Riku. "Uh…hey guys."

"Roxas, what're you doing here?" Sora asked.

"I work here."

"Really, you work for Demyx. What's it like?" Riku snickered.

"Shut up Prissy. I'll have you know I'm a great boss." Demyx said as he came out of the backroom with Axel.

"Prissy?" Riku commented.

"You spent two hours getting ready to go to a movie." Demyx said.

"So."

"Dude, it's dark in movie theatres." Axel said with a smirk on his face.

"Shut-up Axel!"

"Wait, wait, wait. You know Demyx?" I asked Riku.

"Yeah, I was his first customer. He was so excited he tackled me to the floor. When he realized what he had done he got upset and started crying about me never coming back 'cause I would think he was some kind of crazy man. Then Axel came out and started laughing at him. So Zexion punched Axel in the face, hard, and cuddled with Demyx. I told Dem all about Sora, and how I was used to being glomped. I think I bought like ten CDs because I felt bad."

"So really, how do you know that wasn't my sales pitch?" Demyx said.

"'cause somehow I doubt, Axel would allow himself to be punched in the face."

"Fine, you made me cry, happy!"

"I didn't do anything!"

"Leave it alone Riku," Axel said. "You'll just make Demy cry again you heartless bastard." Axel joked earning himself a glare from Riku.

"So who's your boyfriend?" Demyx asked then added, "Sorry kid, I know you come here a lot, but I don't know your name."

"Oh, I'm Sora." Sora held his hand out. Demyx gladly used the hand to pull Sora into a hug.

"Awww, he's absolutely squeezable, just like Roxas." Demyx cooed while squeezing the life from Sora. Luckily Riku was there to save Sora by unwrapping Demyx's arms from Sora.

"Demyx he's mine, let go." Riku insisted. "And he happens to be Roxas' brother." Demyx and Riku continued talking, Axel had disappeared, and Sora walked over to me.

"Roxas, can we talk?" Sora asked.

"Yeah, come on." I grabbed Sora's hand and dragged him into the backroom, where Axel was going through stock. "Do you mind if Axel stays?"

"No, that's fine." Sora said and hesitated before speaking in a rush, "Roxas, I'm gay, Riku's been my boyfriend for one and a half weeks." He said it like it was a bad thing.

"That sounds great Sora, why are you upset?" I asked.

"I don't know how to tell Mom and Dad." Sora said desperately. "She was totally bitching the whole way home last week after we had lunch with you two. She says men being together is wrong, that it's a sin."

"I've never told anyone before, and I really don't care what anyone thinks of my lifestyle. So I don't have much experience," I said, "Maybe, just tell her at dinner. Tell her how happy you are. Or get her drunk."

"Roxas!"

"You know there's a song about that." Axel joined in. "'Take Your Mama Out' by the Scissor Sisters, fun song. Anyway, you guys should do it on the same day. If the worst happens my house is always open for you and Riku."

"Thanks Axel." Sora was grinning like he Cheshire cat.

I had never thought Sora was straight, so I wasn't surprised, in fact I as quite happy that he was with Riku. There was never a doubt in my mind that Riku was gay. The way he was always looking a Sora gave him away. I always thought they would be a cute couple even though Riku is two years older than Sora.

It was a slow day today, so we spent the rest of the afternoon talking with Riku and Sora. Eventually Sora was called home, and Zexion called wondering where Demyx was, so we closed up and went home.

oOo

Axel and I were watching 'House', one of our favorite shows, when I realize we've been together for two months. Its amazing how whole Axel makes me feel. It's like he's replaced my drugs. When he's around he's all I need. "Axel?"

"What's up, love?" Axel gripped my hand and turned his attention to me. I love that, no matter what he's doing, he'll drop it for me.

"C-can I…" My cell phone rang and I answered to avoid finishing my question. "Hello." I answered.

"I…t-told…sh…shsh…mad…I-Ri…" I could tell it was Sora sobbing on the other end. It's been a few weeks since I last saw him at the Music Shop. I had been wondering when he was going to tell Mom. Sounds like he did. I let him continue crying, muttering, 'I'm here for you', 'It'll work out', 'I love you, Sora', and any other comforting things I could think of. Axel seemed to understand and remained silent.

When Sora finally finished I carefully asked, "Sora, do you want to tell me what happened?"

"Mom's mad at me. She says she doesn't want to see me. She said I can't see Riku anymore, and I should live with Dad if I'm going to be so ungodly. She says I'm a sinner and I'm going to hell. I don't want mom to hate me, but I love Riku. What should I do Roxas?" Sora cried into the phone.

"Ask yourself this Sora, would someone who loves you make you choose." I asked and Sora responded with a 'no', "So tell me this, would Riku make you choose between him and mom, like she's doing."

Again Sora responded, "No."

"So, since mom's making you choose between her and Riku, who do you choose. Keep in mind that choosing one over the other doesn't mean you don't love the other." I said.

"Riku, I choose Riku." Sora said without hesitation.

"Good. So you can live with Riku, Dad, or Axel and me."

"Riku's parents kicked him out. His dad punched him in the face. In the face, Roxas! He's all bloody. I'm afraid of what Dad will say. I don't want to tell him."

"Okay, where are you and Riku, we'll come pick you up." I said to Sora and Axel got up to get his coat and keys.

"We're in the park."

"Okay, we'll be there soon." I said before hanging up.

"We getting Riku and Sora?" Axel asked.

"Yeah." I answered.

"Okay, we'll have to take both cars. You take the Reventon," he tossed me the keys 'thank God he had already taught me stick shift'. "I'll take the McLaren."

oOo

It was getting easier for me to drive Saix's car, ever since Roxas showed up in my life, or more accurately, ever since I forced myself into his. I didn't hesitate at helping Sora and Riku. It's such a shame that there's so much prejudice about one person falling in love with another.

I pulled over, Roxas behind me, when I saw Sora and Riku. Roxas and I held hands as we walked towards the other couple. They were sitting cross legged, facing each other, on the bench. Sora was poking at Riku's face and placing a few chaste kisses on it. As I got closer I saw why, "Holly hell Riku!" His face was, or half of it was darkened with a bruise and his lip was bleeding.

"My dad wasn't happy with my lifestyle choice." Riku said.

"Well come on, let's get to our apartment so we can clean that and put some ice on it." I said, looking over to Roxas who was hugging Sora tightly. "You can come with me."

"We're not taking the same car?" Riku asked and we all began walking towards the cars.

"My cars only fit two people each, we're in the blue, Sora and Roxas are in the black." I pointed out the cars.

"Holy shit." Riku murmured, "You must be loaded."

"I guess." I said as we got in. The ride to the apartment and in the elevator were quiet. Once inside I saw Sora and Riku's eyes light up. My apartment does that to people. "Okay, in front of us is the living room, the left is the dining room," it's not like they couldn't figure it out themselves. There are no walls between these rooms but I was trying to be a good host. My voice took on a snarl as I introduced the next bastard, "And to the right, is the kitchen. It's a bitch. Although Roxas seems to get along with it, so maybe you're safe, but don't say I didn't warn you."

"You say it like the kitchen's a person." Riku commented.

"Well, of course it isn't." I said reasonably, "It's a mother fucking bastard demon!" I then yelled at the kitchen.

"Oh wow, is he always like that?" Sora asked Roxas timidly.

"No, he just really hates that kitchen." Roxas said making Sora laugh and Riku grin.

"Okay, what're we going to do about the sleeping arrangements?" I asked Roxas.

"Oh…uh, before Sora called I was going to ask if I could move into your room." Roxas said shyly. Roxy in my room, I held back a squeal as I ran to Roxas picking him up and capturing his lips.

"Really?" I asked pulling away. Sora was giggling and Riku was grinning at us.

"Yes."

"Oh, yes, yes, yes, this is so exciting! Roxy, you'll be with me all night! No more cold bed?" I exclaimed, and Roxas captured my lips. I can only assume it was to shut me up. I didn't mind though, I was excited. I had someone to hold again, and no, I'm not thinking about sex. I placed Roxas back on the floor, before turning to Sora and Riku. "Okay, the bedrooms are in the hallway to the right. One of you can take the bedroom and the other the couch, or if you're comfortable with it you can share the bedroom, or if you prefer you can share the couch, I prefer beds. I'm going to go change the sheets for you." I took off. This was such an exciting day for me.

**AN: I'm hoping Roxas' mom using religion as an excuse for hating gays doesn't make people feel this story is all about religion. I really didn't intend on that. I just know that religion plays apart in discrimination.**

**I hope you don't mind the slight religion. Their mom actually does have a different reason for hating boyxboy relationships, but that's for another chapter.**

**Thanks for all reviews, favs, and alerts**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 – He Doesn't Look a Thing Like Jesus**

Sora and Riku settled in quite easily over the next week. They all helped me move my belongings into Axel's room and Sora and Riku went to mom's house, while she was at work, to get most of Sora's things. Sora had insisted that what was his was also Riku's, since they had decided to share the room. Also because Riku wasn't allowed at his own home to get his stuff. Overall the couple seemed happy.

Axel and I were also doing well in our new situation. I was really astonished on our first night when Axel came to bed with sweatpants on. When I asked about it he had told me that he bought them earlier when he ran out to get the ice we didn't need. He wanted me to feel comfortable so he was no longer sleeping in the nude. Which sometimes was disappointing but at least he still didn't wear shirts.

It was an amazing feeling to wake up every day, warmly wrapped in his long arms. I also loved to wake up with Sora around, he is my family. Added to that both Riku and Sora loved cooking so the three of us switched between cooking breakfast and dinner. Even the bathroom situation was working out, mostly because there are three bathrooms, but also because Sora and Riku get up later than me and Axel because they don't have work.

However at breakfast this morning Riku said he was going to get a job so he could pay rent. Axel told him he didn't have to but Riku insisted. Then Sora decided he wanted a job too, and Axel gave up on his attempt to make them not pay him. While they went job hunting Axel and I stayed home, on one of our rare days off. We were watching Saturday morning cartoons. Axel was laying on his back and I was cuddled on top of him. "Axel, I'm gonna go make a phone call."

"Mmm…okay, Roxy." Axel murmured. Okay, apparently I was watching cartoons and Axel was sleeping. It had been bothering me all week that mom had hurt Sora so bad that he was afraid of talking to Dad. Sora was the type of kid who lived to please his parents. Though he was noticeably happy with Riku, I could tell he was hurting from not talking to our parents. I felt I had to at least try to fix this. He's my little brother and it's my job to keep him happy.

Plus, if I remembered Mom and Dad's fights correctly, Dad won't mind that Sora is gay. So I picked up my cell phone and dialed a number I thought I would never call again. The machine picked up and I waited for the beep before leaving a message, "Hi Dad, this is Roxas. I know you hate me, I hate me too. But I'm not calling about me, it's about Sora. So call me when he doesn't show up at your house and you get worried."

After hanging up I went back to my position on top of Axel and fell asleep. About twenty minutes later I was woken by my phone ringing, and Axel shifting under me. "Hello?" I answered sleepily.

"Is he okay? Where is he? Is your mother fucking insane?" My father's concerned voice came through the phone.

"Hello Dad, nice to talk again. Sora's fine, he's living with me and my boyfriend. And Mom kicked me out months ago so I couldn't tell you if she's gone completely insane." I said.

"Boyfriend?"

"Mmhm…that's why you and Mom didn't work out right? You prefer dicks to tits."

"How did you know that?" Dad asked quietly.

"I heard all your fights. Why do you think I started doing drugs? I had to take care of Sora and keep him from hearing you two! I needed a release." I said a little too loudly, and now Axel was awake with a concerned look on his face. I shook my head to keep him from speaking."

"Roxas." Dad sighed, "Roxas, I don't hate you."

"Wow, you actually got something other than 'Sora' out of my message."

"Rox, I'm going to tell you something only your mom and my boyfriend know. I used to be a drug addict before I met your mom. When we started fighting I went back to doing drugs and it resulted in me hitting her and shoving you to the floor. The look in your face that night, before you ran away, is what got me to quit. Your mom called me saying you were doing drugs again the night she kicked you out. Now I think she may have been overreacting. But I didn't want you in my house because I believed her and thought you had drugs. It was very hard to get myself off of them; I didn't want them near me."

This was a lot of information and again it showed me that both of my parents didn't believe in me. "I'm no doing drugs. I told her that and she threw me out. Literally, there was blood. You didn't think once that you could've helped me, seeing as you've been through the same things as me?"

"Roxas, I couldn't face you after I shoved you."

"Well, I forgive you dad." Axel smiled at me upon finding out who I was speaking with and about what.

"I don't deserve it, but thank you Roxas."

"So do you want to hear about Sora?" I asked. Glad to finally know why my father treated me the way he did.

"Yeah, did your mom kick him out for breaking a dish or something?"

"No, she kicked him out because he's gay and that's ungodly. Though I suspect it's less to do with God and more to do with the fact that she lost you to a man."

"That's awful, why didn't he come to me?"

"Mom hurt him. He was afraid of what you would say. To be rejected by two parents in the same day is one of the worst feelings imaginable, trust me I know." Roxas said remembering the day he was kicked out. "He has a boyfriend who also lives with us."

"Really, where do the four of you live?" He asked and I rattled off the adress, "Do you think I can visit."

"Yep. That's why I called. I want you to let him know that you're okay with him being gay."

"Can I come over tonight, maybe bring my boyfriend?"

I moved the phone away from my face to ask Axel, "Is it okay if my dad brings his boyfriend over for dinner tonight?"

"Your dad's gay?" Axel asked too loudly. I heard my dad chuckling on the other end.

"Axel!" I warned.

"Oh, yeah, of course. I told you this is your home too, love." He was still speaking loudly and I was sure my dad heard. But I spoke anyway, "Yeah we're cool with that."

"Oooohhh. Oh, oh! Since Sora and Riku are gone you and I can tackle that bastard kitchen again!" Axel said excitedly, succeeding in making my dad laugh more.

"Dear God Axel! The last time I tried cooking with you, you set the sink on fire. The sink Axel, their made with metal and have water in them and you set it on fire!"

"So, accidents happen. And at least it was easy to put out."

"Uh, thank God you're a neat freak." I sighed. Truly, if Axel wasn't obsessed with cleanliness this apartment would be a disaster. "I'll see you tonight Dad." He was still laughing, "Hopefully with minimum damage."

"Is that your boyfriend?" He asked.

"Yeah, he is absolutely certain the kitchen has a vendetta against him."

"Okay well, try not to burn the apartment down before I get there. Bye." We hung up and Axel was grinning widely at me.

"So can I help?" He asked.

"No." Axel pouted at this. He really did like cooking but damn there was always at least one fire and several injuries. But how could I resist that face. "Fine, you can help. Get your fire extinguisher and apron. We have work to do." Axel's face brightened visibly. It made the potential danger I was putting myself and him in, worth it.

oOo

Four fires, six sliced fingers, two burns, one blender tragedy, seven useless pieces of chicken, two broken glasses, three broken plates, and an hour and a half of cleaning later we had a master piece set out on the table for dinner. Overall it was a pretty good day of cooking. The kitchen was much less of a bastard with Roxas around.

Roxas and I had just finished setting the table around our masterpiece when Sora and Riku walked through the door. "Did you find a job?" I asked them. Roxas looked up at my outburst. He had looked so excited to be talking to his father again. I love seeing him happy.

"No," Sora bounced over to us with Riku following him, "Wow, what's the occasion?" Sora asked.

"Your dad's coming over," I said without thinking. Sora's face dropped and he pulled Riku close to him, oops.

"With his boyfriend." Roxas quickly added.

"B-boyfriend?" Sora asked.

"Yeah, I remembered that's why he and mom broke up, so I called him. I know you miss them Sora." Roxas explained.

"I do." Sora said quietly and held himself even closer to Riku. Then the doorbell rang, and he jumped about three feet in the air and let go of Riku.

"I'll get it." I said walking towards the door. I opened it to reveal two men, I had thought would have looked much older. One had Sora and Roxas' blue eyes, and golden gravity defying hair. The other had brown shoulder length hair and both were shorter than me, not that it was difficult to be shorter than me. Roxas had told me everything his dad said over the phone. I was glad he wasn't quite as bad as I thought; otherwise I may have introduced him to my demon kitchen. "I'm Cloud Strife, Roxas and Sora's dad." The blond held his hand out to me and I shook it. "This is my boyfriend Leon, he doesn't talk much." Cloud finished and I shook the brunette's hand.

"I'm Axel, Roxas' incredibly sexy boyfriend. Got it memorized?" Cloud nodded, "Come in." They walked through the doorway and Cloud was immediately glomped to the floor by Sora; Demyx would be proud. Riku was there right away to pull Sora off and help Cloud up. "Nice to see you again Mr. Strife." Riku greeted, and Sora was still clinging to Cloud.

"Riku, what happened to your face?" Cloud said using the hand he didn't have wrapped around Sora to touch Riku's fading bruise.

"My dad wasn't exactly accepting of my lifestyle choice."

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I wish you guys would've come to me." Cloud said concerned.

"I didn't know how you'd react. You said Leon was your best friend not your boyfriend. Hi Leon." Sora added and Leon waved to him.

"Well, he's both. Kind of like Riku is for you." Cloud explained.

"Hey! We didn't set the kitchen on fire four times to not eat." I said cheerfully and heard Roxas mutter, 'We?'.

"Four times?" Leon asked concerned.

"Well I only consider it three times because technically the fourth fire was on my apron, but try telling Roxas that." I clarified.

"And you let him cook!?" Cloud asked astonished.

"I try not to." Roxas responded.

"Okay haters, let's eat." I led everyone to the dining room and we all sat down. After the first bites were taken and the compliments were dished out, Cloud spoke up, "So Roxas, I know how Riku and Sora met, but how did you and Axel meet?"

"Uh…let me finish before you start yelling." Roxas said. Gods I swear if Cloud fucks up here I'll feed him to the kitchen.

"Okay, I'll listen, promise."

"Well the night mom kicked me out I did have drugs, but I didn't do them. Axel showed up out of nowhere and convinced me not to. I let him get rid of them for me. The first thing he ever said to me was 'Are you sure you want to do that?' and the first thing I said to him was 'What do you care?'" Roxas said. I looked up and saw that we had matching smiles at the memory. "After he convinced me that my wants matter, I went home and mom kicked me out. No one would let me stay with them so I slept on a park bench, where Axel found me, near hypothermia, in the morning. He gave me his coat, I still have it, he fed me, and he gave me a room. We've been together ever since."

"I'm glad you could help him when I was too weak to do so, Axel, thank you." Cloud said.

"No problem." I responded. It really wasn't a problem. This had been some of the best moments of my life. As dinner went on Roxas became more comfortable with his dad. The table was filled with light conversations and laughter. I was drowning in Roxas' happiness. I would do _anything_ to keep him this happy. I would make it my life's goal to keep my Roxy happy.

**AN: I know, Cloud and Leon are probably a bit OOC. I was being lazy picking Roxas and Sora's father. And BTW Cloud is around 38 and their mom is 46, which means Cloud was 20 when Roxas was born and their mom was 28, I think.**

**Also, I am going to be ****disappearing**** for a little bit. I like to be writing about four chapters ahead of where I'm typing and updating. Right now I'm typing chapter 10 and writing chapter 12. So it will probably be a ****week**** before I update again. Sorry. I'll try to be quick.**

*For those of you who also read "The Other Side isn't so Green" I am still updating that one and I have started writing the sequel.

**Thanks for all reviews, alerts, and favs.**


	10. Chapter 10

Warning: Violence, slight gore, reference to rape

**Chapter 10 – He Doesn't Look a Thing Like Jesus**

Sora and Riku living with us was nice while it lasted, however we all thought it was best for them to move in with dad. Riku is starting his senior year and Sora's starting his junior year in a couple of weeks. Axel and I, we're not parent material. I love him a bunch, but Axel couldn't keep a plant alive and I'm a recovering drug addict. And Axel does a good job with me but technically I know how to take care of myself. Imagine if he had to do all the cooking. CRASH. There goes that damn Disco shelf again. "You okay, Axel?" I asked from behind the counter.

"Yeah, you know what Roxy? I think I'm going to go get something to fix this shelf." Axel said with a determined look. Just what we need, a Mr. Fix It Axel. It'll be interesting to see how that turns out. "Here." He tossed me his keys. "I'm gonna be here a while, so you can take the car home, I'll walk.

"That's okay Axel." I tossed the keys back. "I don't want you walking around at night, and I've needed a walk anyway."

"You sure?" He asked skeptically.

"Yeah, go get your supplies." I urged.

"Okay." Axel quickly ran over to me giving me a chaste kiss, turning around to leave, then changing his mind and giving me a whole make out session.

"You gonna miss me or something?" I joked.

"Always." Axel said before leaving.

I walked around the counter to o check out the pile of Disco CDs. God what a disaster. There's no way I'm cleaning this up. "Hey Dem, Axel went to get something to fix the Disco shelf and I'm gonna take off, okay?"

"Alright Roxy, but I wanna see your cute butt bright and surly tomorrow morning."

"Unless you're willing to get up before twelve, that isn't going to happen." I walked out the door and sprinted down the street before Demyx could see the mess Axel left.

oOo

_"Unless you're willing to get up before twelve, that isn't going to happen."_

I stormed out of the backroom to tell Roxas just what I thought about that jab at me, only to find that he had already left. Guess I'm manning the store alone since Axel's getting stuff to fix the shelf. Wait, the shelf? The Disco shelf!

I zig zagged through the aisles of music and arived at a mess of Disco CDs. "Roxas!" Oh Axel is so cleaning this mess. As I bent down to check for any broken CDs the bell announced a customer. I stood up and turned around, bumping into the customer, "Oh sor…hey Zexy."

"How are you today, my love?" Zexion whispered in my ear, and kissed a trail down my jaw.

"I'm pissed, I'm really fudgeing pissed, Zexy." I whined and slumped down to the floor. Zexion soon followed, regally sitting right next to me and putting an arm around me. "Look what they did." I pointed to the mess next to me.

"I think it would be beneficial for you to get that shelf fixed. But in the mean time, can I help you with anything?" Ah, always my knight in shining zexy armor, Zexion offers his help.

"I think you can do something for me." I whispered as I rolled over to straddle his legs. He smiled his sweet smile, that he only shows me, and then captured my lips. My hands swiftly ended up in his hair and on his neck, while his hands explored the skin under my shirt. Was that a bell? Oh screw it. My hand found the hem of Zexion's shirt and started pulling it up. My hips grinded into his, "Nnngh."

"Oh…um, excuse me?"

"Fuck!" Zexion cursed.

"Ah, yes can I help you?" I smiled sheepishly at the customer.

oOo

As soon as I was a safe distance away from the music shop I slowed to a walk. Though, maybe I should walk faster, it's starting to get dark. It almost seemed as though the air around me became colder, as less light was visible. I stopped to take a look around. I didn't see anyone, the streets were deserted. My palms were becoming sweaty with nerves, and I didn't know why.

I've walked home alone before. Why would this be any different? I found myself speeding up to get to the street lights. Once I was in the light I slowed down until I was out of it, at which point I would practically run to the next. Then I heard it.

My footsteps were no t the only footsteps on the street. It seemed like they were because every time I stopped the other steps stopped. But I knew better, I wasn't being paranoid. Someone is following me.

I ran, I ran as fast as my legs would allow. The other steps were very obvious now, having realized they'd been caught. My lungs were beginning to burn in need of air, but I ignored it. There'd be time to breath when I got home. My legs were screaming in pain trying to slow me down. My head was telling me faster, faster, faster, but my body was going slower and slower, until I felt breath on the back of the neck.

I tried to run faster but a hand grabbed my hair pulling me back into them. From the impression of muscles I felt against my back I knew this was a man, a tall man. One of his hands was still ripping at my hair, while the other was wrapped around my neck, practically asphyxiating me.

My arms were gripping at the one around my neck trying to remove it and failing miserably. I'm going to die. Now more kitchen battles, no more cuddly nights with Axel, my father and I will never get closer, mine and Axel's relationship will never go farther. I'll just fade away and cease to exist.

The hand around my neck loosened as it threw me against an alley wall. As my head hit the bricks I felt my teeth slice open my lip and blood gush down the side of my head and lip. The skin on my hand was ripped up as I tried to catch myself on the wall and keep from falling. I failed. I was lying in a puddle on the ground, when a foot stomped onto my back, holding me down.

"Roxas, I hope you remember me, you should. You owe me quite a bit of money. If I remember correctly you were supposed to pay up ten months ago. We were to meet in my alley, and you never showed." A cold voice announced, "I will not be taken advantage of. I let you have drugs without paying up front, and this is how you repay me!"

"I was in rehab!" I cried.

"I don't care, I expect payment." The voice demanded.

"I have the money." I'd pay Axel back, "I'll get it to you, I promise."

"Roxas, Roxas, Roxas. I don't want your money." The pressure of the foot on my back left, only to be replaced by a hand grabbing my neck and slamming me back into the wall. He pressed his body against mine to help hold me in place. My tears were mixing with the blood falling down my face. "Your money's no good to me; I want a much bigger payment."

"Please, I have the money. I'll pay interest." I begged.

"To late Roxas." A hand slipped to the front of my pants, unbuttoning them and pulling down both my pants and boxers. No please, I don't want this again. His elbow was digging into my spine while he pulled his own pants down. Off in the distance I thought I heard a screech but I was distracted when I felt the man's obvious excitement against my bare ass. I was sobbing full force now, just waiting for that pain. But penetration never came and I found myself thrown to the ground again.

oOo

That damn fucking Disco shelf! I swear it's like Eeyore's house. All the fucker needs to make it fall in a heap on the floor is a damn butterfly. Now I get to go back to work, after hours, to try to fix it. Roxas will probably be sleeping by the time I get home.

Wait! What is that? I was stopped at a red light, abiding the law even though no one was around. And quite a ways away I thought I saw Roxas. Squinting my eyes I tried to get a better look. It is Roxas. He's…is he being dragged into an alley by…Xemnas? Shit!

Screw traffic laws. I shifted gears and floored the Reventon until I came to a screeching halt outside the alley I'd seen Roxas dragged into. Now normally I'm an easy going person, but something snapped in me at the site of Xemnas holding Roxas against the wall with his dick inches from touching my sweet Roxy.

I ran full speed towards them; fire burning in my eyes as I tackled Xemnas, sending Roxas to the ground. I'll patch him up later; right now I have some whoop ass to dish out. I was too focused on causing Xemnas as much pain as possible to see the petrified look on Roxas face as I punched Xemnas repeatedly. Eventually he threw me off of him, but I just attacked again, slamming his head into the wall. There was blood everywhere, and it wasn't mine.

"Axel, Axel, don't kill him. I need you." Roxas' voice pulled me out of my murderous rage. With one last kick to the groin, I left Xemnas curled on the floor.

"This won't go unpunished, Axel." He called to me as I scooped Roxas up and carried him to the Reventon. As I got into the driver's seat I said, "Don't worry Roxy, I'll clean you off and fix you up. Just call me Nurse Axel. Disco can wait."

**AN: I'm still just writing chapter 14 so it's be another 3 to 4 days before I update again.**

**Thanks for all reviews, favs, and alerts**


	11. Chapter 11

For those who celebrate it, Happy 4th of July, yay fireworks. This is a very short chapter, sorry.

**Chapter 11 – He Doesn't Look a Thing Like Jesus**

Nurse Axel kept to his word. When we arrived home he started a bath for me with bubbles, so he could be in the room as well. He had left the room while I got undressed and climbed into the tub. Now he was sitting on the edge of it with a first aid kit, holding his hand out. "Come on Roxy, I need your hand." He insisted.

I was still stunned by Axel's actions tonight. He could've killed him. I gave him my hand as he requested. His knuckles were bruising from the force he'd put into his punching, and some were bleeding from where Xemnas' teeth had gotten in his way. There was murder in his eyes tonight. I have no doubt that he would've killed Xemnas had I not stopped him. And that scares me.

How could he be so close to murder one minute and gently wiping me hand with antibacterial cream the next. He acted as if he hadn't just spilt half a man's blood. The only thing that seems to matter to him is my wellbeing. He would kill for me and I'm not sure I could live with that. "Look at me Roxy. I need to clean up your face."

I looked at him and saw the caring green orbs I fell in love with. They almost made me forget what I've witnessed tonight, but the blood on his face an in his hair, which wasn't his, was a gruesome reminder. This man was capable of murder.

It was almost impossible to think that the hands tenderly touching my face were capable of such horrid things. "I think your lip may need stitches. I'm gonna go get you some clean clothes."

And yet, I still love him. It just proves, even more, that you cannot help who you love. My red-haired savior would do anything for me.

oOo

I knew Roxas would be upset; it's hard not to be after you're almost raped. But there was something more. He wouldn't talk to me and I couldn't figure out why. I grabbed his favorite pajama pants and a t-shirt then quickly made my way back to him, knocking on the door before entering.

As I entered, he continued to stare at the wall. Normally he would watch me or acknowledge me in some way. I don't know what I did wrong. Should I _not_ have saved him? "I got your clothes Roxy. I'll wait outside the door while you get dressed, 'kay." He nodded without looking at me.

Did I really mess up that bad? I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if Xemnas had raped my Roxy. But why is he upset? Roxas opened the door, looking down, then walked to our bed to lay down, facing away from me. "Roxy, did I do something wrong?"

"No." He mumbled.

"Why won't you look at me?" I asked, "I'm trying, so hard, to fix this. Is it because I let you go home alone, because it's my fault that you were alone!?" I plopped onto the bed, my back facing Roxas, and threw my head into my hands. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to leave you alone. I was supposed to protect you." I cried. Yeah, I cried for the first time since my mom died.

I felt a hand rest on my shoulder before it wrapped around my chest and was replaced by Roxas' head. He kissed my neck before whispering, "It's not your fault Axel." Then he continued placing kisses along my neck making his way up to my face, where he kissed my tears away.

"Then why won't you look at me? I don't understand. It feels like I'm losing you. It's like when I lost Saix. I can feel that it's coming, and I don't know how or if I can stop it." Tears were still falling down my face.

Roxas' arm left my chest and both of his hands grabbed my face and turned it so his azure eyes were looking directly into the depths of my green eyes. "You are not losing me. Do you understand?" I nodded, "I love you. It's just…you almost killed him."

"But I didn't." I insisted. It's true, I got carried away, but I didn't kill him, even if he did deserve it.

"But you would have. And you certainly seem capable of it." Roxas reiterated. "It scared me."

I wrapped my arms tightly around my little blond. It is my fault he's upset. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't want him to touch you." I sighed, "When you live on the street you have to know how to fight. I didn't mean to scare you, Roxy. I really didn't."

"I know."

"Do you want me to sleep somewhere else tonight?" I asked, thinking he may need some space.

"No? Don't you dare leave me?" Roxas said frightened at the prospect of being alone. "I don't want to be alone." Roxas clutched me tighter, bringing him closer to me.

"Okay, I won't leave Roxy, but I need t take a shower. You've already seen me naked, so I don't mind if you want to sit in there with me." He nodded at my offer.

Roxas sat silently on the counter while I took a shower. I watched as the water turned red with blood and ran down the drain in a grisly spiral. Now that I was calmed down and I knew Roxy was safe, I could understand his fear. That wasn't my blood. I had hurt someone, sure he's an evil person, but I had hurt him enough to have pints of his blood covering me. I did that.

After I was sure all the blood was off of me I dried off and got dressed behind the shower curtain. Then Roxas and I crawled into bed. He wasted no time wrapping himself around me. "I love you Axel." He murmured.

"I love you too, Roxy."

oOo

"His name's Xemnas and he's very tall, white hair, tan skin. Mmhm. Okay thank you." I woke up to Axel's voice. It sounded like he was in the kitchen. That had me jumping out of bed faster than a chipmunk on speed.

As I ran into the kitchen I saw Axel standing over the table looking proud of himself. When he looked up at me, standing cautiously at the edge of the kitchen, he said, "Hey Roxy, I made cereal?" I looked around the room quickly. Nothing was broken, nothing was burnt, and it was clean. Wow, a first for him.

"No injuries?" I asked skeptically.

"Well I didn't say that Roxy." Axel said with a smirk on his face. "Come tomorrow I'm gonna have a nice bruise on my eye." Now that I looked, Axel's eye was kind of red.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Oh, the kitchen opened the cabinet door into my face while I was getting bowls."

"You mean _you_, opened it into your face."

"No, it was the bastard kitchen, I swear."

"Okay Red." I sat down at the table with Axel. I'm surprised the worst he did was a bruise. I would've thought he'd drown in the milk or something. I don't know what I'd do without him. "Who were you talking to?"

"Oh…uh, I called the police. Told them to patrol Xemnas' street."

"Oh…okay." We were quiet for a bit after that then Axel spoke up.

"Do you want to go to work or stay home?" He asked carefully as he shoved a spoonful of Lucky Charms into his mouth.

"Nothing happened yesterday. You stopped it before anything could. So we'll go to work and no one will know."

"Uh, Roxy, your face is pretty swollen and has lots of pretty colors." My spoon clattered to the floor as I jumped up from the table and ran to the toaster. I didn't know a face could turn so many colors. "Don't worry; I still think you're adorable."

"I look like something from a horror movie."

"Then you're a really cute something from a horror movie."

"Axeeel." I whined. "How can you even look at me? I'm disgusting." Axel stood up from his chair and walked towards me. I tried to turn away but Axel grabbed me around my waist and pulled me close.

"Roxy, Roxy, there is nothing that could make me think you're disgusting. It doesn't matter if your face is a million different colors and three times its normal size, or if you've got snots dripping out of your nose and your voice is all muffled from being stuffed, or even if you look like Two-Face from Dark Knight. I love you no matter how you look. So stop talking bad about yourself and realize you are absolutely beautiful, no matter what." I looked into Axel's sincere eyes and smiled. Again, I found myself thinking, 'What would I do without him?"

**The next chapter is longer. Again it's going to be a few days before i update so i can continue to try to get ahead. I post my progress in my profile (for those interested on what chapter I'm writing).**

**Thanks for all reviews, favs, and alerts.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12 – He Doesn't Look a Thing Like Jesus**

"Oh my God! Roxy-poo, what happened to my adorable little muffin face?" Demyx ran up to me and grabbed my face painfully, though he wasn't intending to cause me pain, and pulled me so my face was only inches away from his concerned one.

"Oh my God, Demyx, you're up before noon!" I said as I gently pushed Demyx away. Demyx, in the way he often does, ignored my comment.

"You two weren't having rough sex were you? 'Cause if you were, Axel, I think you need to take it down a notch. I mean, look at my muffin-cake. All those colors aren't supposed to be there?" Demyx exclaimed and Axel busted out laughing as he took his supplies to the Disco shelf.

"I got beat up on my way home yesterday. Axel saved me." I explained, not entirely untruthful.

"Oh my God, really. That had to be scary. Axel can get a temper on him when it comes to protecting the ones he loves."

"It was a little. I thought you only got up early for donuts." I said changing the subject.

"Oh…I was going to yell at you two. I changed my mind though; I'm just going o yell at Axel."

"Hey." Axel said from where he was fixing the shelf.

"Hey, if you ever show up to work with a swollen multicolored face, I'll go easy on you too." Demyx chided as he walked over to Axel. I shook my head and walked into the backroom as Demyx started lecturing Axel on proper worker ethics. One of them being 'Clean your fudging Disco mess up after you fudging knock it over'. I'm pretty sure Demyx rearranged the words for that particular rule.

As I walked into the backroom I saw Zexion seemingly sleeping on the floor. Silently I hung my coat up, and then jumped when Zexion spoke up. "Just beat you up for no reason, huh?" He commented.

"Somehow I don't think you'll be as easy to convince as Demyx."

"No." He gave me that 'all knowing' look of his as he sat up.

"Shouldn't you be at work?" I asked.

"Eight thirty in the morning is too early for a psychologist, or at least it is for me."

"I think this is the most you've ever talked to me." I said and Zexion gave a smirk that could compete with Axel's, though I think Axel would win. "But I see you and Demyx have at least two things in common now. You both don't like to be awake in the morning" I finished.

"And." Zexion encouraged.

"And what?"

"You mentioned that we have two things in common. You only gave one example."

"Oh…you both love each other. I thought that one was obvious." I answered and he gave me a smile. Not the one I often saw him give Demyx. This was a new one, maybe meant only for me.

"Will you be telling me what really happened last night?"

"I don't want to lie to you, so I'll have to answer that with a no." I said and he nodded before lying down again.

"Very well, I'm always ready to listen though, if you ever need me too."

"Thanks Zexion."

oOo

"Let's go to a movie." I said to Roxas after our shift ended. He turned to face me.

"That's a bit spontaneous." He smiled lopsidedly because of the mess of bruising and swelling on his face. "What are we seeing?"

"I didn't look up movie times, so whatever's playing when we get there." I answered.

"Really? Do you do that often?" He asked me.

"All the time. It makes it more exciting." I answered. Saix hated to do this. He indulged me but he likes to have things planned.

"Sounds fun." I was happy to hear that Roxy was genuinely excited about this. He wasn't faking like Saix would. When we got to the theatre I looked over what was playing.

"Alright, we have a few choices, what do you want to see Roxy?"

"I think I'm in the mood for a comedy." Roxas said thoughtfully.

"Comedy it is." I said walking up to the ticket counter to get our tickets. Once Roxas and I got our popcorn and I showed him the perfect butter to salt ratio, we entered the theatre. There were six couples all spread far apart. Roxas began to move towards an empty row but I grabbed his arm. "Wanna see something funny?"

He shrugged his agreement. I'm sure I was grinning like an idiot now. This was something else Saix wouldn't do with me. He hated to make people uncomfortable. So he would save us some seats while I had my fun.

I pulled Roxas with me to the nearest couple and sat in the seat right next to them. Roxas looked at me like I was insane, before sitting down next to me. "Axel there's plenty of open seats, away from other people." Roxas whispered to me.

"Ah…but that would be no fun." I whispered back as I stretched out and got comfortable, completely invading our neighbor's space. "Nice theatre, huh?" I asked the girl next to me. She nodded hesitantly and moved as far away from me as her seat would allow. Gods, this is working perfectly. I love fucking with people's minds. "Yeah, this is my favorite theatre. They have the best popcorn ." I shoved a handful of popcorn in my mouth, "and the space," I stretched out once more, "My gods, you can come in here, sit right next to someone and still feel like you're alone. You know what I mean?" I finished resting my arms on the back of both Roxas and the girls seat. Her boyfriend glared at me and I gave him one of my signature smirks before picking up the girls drink and taking a sip. "Pepsi, not very interesting," I lifted my drink, "Suicide Pepsi, want a taste?"

That did it for them. The couple quickly got up and ran, like I was an axe murderer, to a seat as far away from me as possible. I looked to my right and saw Roxas, failing miserably at hiding his laughter. I couldn't help and soon joined in with him. After we recovered from our laughing fit he asked, "Has anyone ever punched you?"

"Oh yeah, it's always fun when they do that. But usually people don't mess with me," I pointed to my tattoos, "because of the face tattoos. But I still find it fun to see the different reactions I get. I also do it in the doctor's office. There will be one person in this huge waiting room and I'll sit right next to him. Oh and elevators. And since you stand in elevator's I'll sometimes follow the person when they move. Oh, oh, it is fucking hilarious if you pretend to be deathly ill, or insane. It's all good fun, you should try it."

"I think I'll just watch you. That's enough entertainment for me." Roxas said, still smiling lopsidedly, "Can I ask you something."

"Go ahead."

"Why do you have those tattoos?" He asked as he touched my face around the upside down teardrops.

"One is for my mother and the other is for Saix." I said hoping he wouldn't get weird about me having a tattoo for Saix. He didn't. He nodded in understanding, "I got the one for my mom when I was sixteen. Saix paid for it. Then I got the one for Saix after he died." What Roxas didn't know was that I had his name tattooed on the back of my neck. It was simple, but it was a reminder of what I had to live for.

oOo

I must say, even though it was mean, watching Axel scare that couple away was entertaining. It was amazing, the movie hadn't even started yet and Axel had made me forget that I had almost been raped and now look like a 'cute' something from a horror movie. He even made me forget that he had almost killed someone and only focus on why I had fallen in love with him.

Axel had held my hand through the entire movie and was still holding my hand when we walked out of the theatre. We were immediately assaulted by and incessant yelling, which I had grown to know very well.

"It's all your fault. It's your fault Roxas does drugs and it's your fault their both gay." My mother screamed at my father. Sora and Riku were hiding behind Leon who was standing very close to Dad. "I should take them far away from you. You're an unfit father. Only man and a woman can raise a child!"

"Because we did so well together." Dad said sarcastically then added, "Sora's sixteen, legally, who he lives with is his choice."

"You're a disgusting homosexual. And you're teaching him to be the same. He's in the wrong state of mind to make his own decisions." My mom continued and a crowd was starting to gather. I held Axle's hand tighter. "And you know what? Even if you weren't gay, you suck at being a father. You're a drug addict and that's all you'll ever…" Apparently Leon had enough. He stepped forward and punched my mom.

The man, who I can only assume was my mother's boyfriend, rushed forward and attacked Leon. Before 'the boyfriend' could hit him Leon growled at Mom, "Like you're a better parent!" Dad quickly entered the fight between Leon and 'the boyfriend'. I started to shake as I remembered last night.

Axel leaned me against a wall and hurried into the fight. He grabbed 'the boyfriend's' wrist in a grip that sent him to the ground crying out in pain, "Enough!" Axel shouted to 'the boyfriend'. Dad and Leon had stopped fighting as soon as there was no need to defend themselves.

"Okay Bitch," he addressed my mother, "Your kids aren't exactly the little puppets you wanted them to be. News flash, they're people. They have their own thoughts, wants, and needs. They are not mindless puppets you can force to do whatever you want. Roxas is not on drugs. He's been clean ever since you put him in rehab, the one good thing you did as a parent. I'm not saying there weren't close calls, but you should have been there to congratulate him when he said 'no' for the first time. Instead, you kicked him out?

"Sora fell in love. You should've been there so he could have someone to talk to. But when he told you, one of the hardest things there is to tell a parent, you kicked him out. You know who was there for him? Roxas. And as soon as Roxas told him what happened, Cloud and Leon were there for him. A parent is supposed to be there for their children. They are supposed to support and guide their children.

"So who is the better parent? The mother who kicked one son out for saying no to drugs and the other for falling in love, or the gay couple who were there to comfort their child after being rejected by his mother. I know who has my vote, but this is Sora's choice. Sora who do you want to live with, the bitch or Cloud?"

Sora poked his head out from between Dad and Leon while clutching Riku close. "I wanna live with my Dad and Leon." He said confidently before disappearing behind Dad again.

Axel pushed 'the boyfriend' into my mother, causing them both to fall to the ground. "Problem solved Bitch, take your boyfriend and leave Cloud and Leon's children alone?" The crowd that had gathered was now clapping and cheering as my mother and her boyfriend ran away. Axel wiped his hands off and walked over to me. "You ready to go Roxy?" I nodded.

Axel was amazing. He managed to end that fight with just a grip of someone's wrist and some harsh words. He had stood there, tall and sexy, commanding attention and ended what could've been a total disaster. It was so different compared to last night. It really turned me on. My pants were painfully tight and I wanted to get him home now!

But, as fate would have it, my father stopped us. God fucking damnit! "Axel, thank you." My father said.

"Yeah well, Roxy's seen you two fight enough. I wanted to make it stop for him. But you're welcome. I was voting for you, by the way." Axel responded with a smirk. I pulled on his hand to try to get him to move.

But once again, father dearest interrupted, "Maybe you two can come over for dinner. And bring that Demyx and Zexion I've heard so much about." I continued to pull on Axel's hand.

"Sure, when?" Axel asked pulling me into his body, which was not helping my situation, to keep me still.

"How about tomorrow?" Dad asked.

"Sounds good. I'll see if I can get the lovebirds to join us." Axel waved as I pulled him away.

If you don't normally read the author's note I highly suggest you do it today.

**AN: This story is like "The Other Side isn't so Green", I didn't write a plot to it. A wonderful (complete sarcasm) thing happens when you don't write a plot. You write yourself into a corner. Now I hate when people don't finish a story, so you don't have to worry. ****I will finish, an unfinished story is not an option for me.**

**But I need to take a week off from typing, so I can just think this story through and write it. I managed to get out of my writer's block for "Other Side" after about two weeks, I think. So I should be typing again soon, and I ****will**** be writing ****all week****.**

**When I come back with this story (hopefully in less than a week) I hope to have an idea of where it's going.**

**Even if I haven't recovered from my writer's block by next week I will type chapter 13 (which is written) and give you an update.**

**Sorry, this is my second story. When I started writing it I had no idea how important plots are. My new stories have plots and this shouldn't happen with those**_**. **__("Once Upon a Midnight Dream" doesn't have a plot because it was supposed to be a oneshot. But the sequel to "Other Side" has one and so does "How long do you want to be loved" and its sequel "Is Forever Enough", though "How Long" hasn't been uploaded, I've just been writing it.)_

**Thanks for sticking with me through this story, and for any and all reviews, favs, and alerts. They are all greatly appreciated.**

**I hope to get a lot done with this story this week. I've put my other stories (not including "other side") on hold until I get the plot situated for this story. **

**Again thanks for continuing to read this story. Once I get an ending I can fill out the middle. Shouldn't take too long.**


	13. Chapter 13

Warning: Sexual Themes (no lemon)

**Chapter 13 – He Doesn't Look a Thing Like Jesus**

"Jesus Christ Roxy!" I exclaimed as Roxas shoved me into my car and jumped into the passenger seat.

"Shut up and drive Axel!" He told me as he turned the key in the ignition.

"That's harsh." I said pulling out of the parking lot.

"Faster!" Roxas said.

"What?" I asked in disbelief.

"This car goes over two hundred miles per hour, drive faster!" Roxas insisted. Man I must have really pissed him off. I drove about twenty over the speed limit the entire way home. Roxas was out of the car before I could even get my seatbelt off. When he ripped open the door and saw me still buckled in he took it upon himself to free me. Then he pulled me harshly by the arm into the elevator and through my door. He then slammed the door closed and threw me against it.

My gods, he's either gonna kill me or give me the worst lecture ever. I was completely unprepared when he crushed his lips into mine, griped my hips forcefully, and dragged me towards the couch. We didn't make it. Somehow Roxas ended up on the floor with me straddling his hips and dominating the kiss. His hands quickly went to work pulling my coat and shirt off.

He was grinding his hips into mine in anticipation. It was amazing but I kept myself prepared for him to say 'no' again. I would understand that. I place my hands under his shirt, running them along his slightly toned muscles, as I deepened the kiss. He moaned in pleasure when my lips found his neck. Gods his sounds were beautiful, they fueled me.

Roxas' hands were finding their way into my pants when the apartment door opened. "Oooh…Zexy! Muffin and Pyro are making babies!" I heard Demyx yell and Roxas immediately stopped. Gods damn Demy. I grabbed an ugly vase Saix's parents had bought him and threw it at Demyx. Zexion's hand quickly shot out and stopped it, sending it crashing to the floor.

"What the fuck, Demyx!" I yelled as Roxas crawled out from under me looking incredibly pissed.

"I brought you your groceries." Demyx said holding up bags. "If if I didn't shop for you you'd never stock your fridge and never eat. Then you'd just be skin and bones and Roxy would never want to make babies with you." Demyx explained and walked into the bastard kitchen, maybe it'll eat him. I got up and followed him so I could yell a little more.

oOo

"Oooh…Zexy! Muffin and Pyro are making babies." The world's against me that's all there is to it. For the second time since Seifer I wanted to have sex. And this time I didn't even care that it had hurt with Seifer. Goddamn you Demyx! I got up from the floor and sat disapointedly on the Sofa, while Axel ran after Demyx, probably to yell at him. Zexion walk past me to sit on the chair next to the sofa. "I'm sorry, I would've made him leave but Axel doesn't eat when there's no food in the house."

"Do you have any idea what he stopped?" I asked frustrated.

"The figurative making of babies." Zexion responded. Had I been in a better mood I may have laughed.

"No, the sex that may have made me think that not all sex is bad." I fumed.

"And why is that?" Zexion asked.

"Because I actually wanted it this time, not like the first time?"

"And how did you feel your first time?"

"You are such a shrink." I accused him as I sat up.  
"Sorry." Zexion apologized. I plopped back down and waved my hand.

"Eh, don't worry. It means you're a good listener and I need to rant." I said and Zexion nodded, "The first time I didn't really want sex, I just wanted the drugs. It was incredibly painful, and I thought I'd never want sex again. Then I met Axel, and we got close to it but I remembered the pain and changed my mind. Last night, one of my dealers tried to rape me because I owe him a debt.

"Axel saved me, like I said, but he almost killed the dealer. I thought I would never look at him the same. But today he's been amazing. When I saw him take charge of this awful situation without violence…I don't' know. I would've gone through with it this time, but _you_ and _Demyx_ ruined it. Now I'm having second thoughts and may never have sex again. Thank you very much!" I finished.

"Roxas, you and Axel seem to have similar pasts. Now I'm not condoning you having sex before you're ready. However, I think you may like to know that Axel knows what it's like to be raped. He knows that pain and knows how to not make it hurt so much. But not until you're ready, Roxas, he'll wait." Zexion informed me.

"Thank you Zexion." I said.

"Anytime." He smiled that new smile of his.

oOo

"You Jackass!" I slammed my palm into the fridge and it was now stinging in pain.

"Believe me Axel, I want the makin' of the babies to happen between you two. But look at this!" He gestured at my empty cabinets where he was putting the groceries away.

"It's been six month since Saix. Six months!"

"Well excuse me! Go fuck a hooker if you're so impatient!" You know Demyx is mad when he swears. But I didn't care at the moment, we always make up.

"I don't want a hooker. I want my Roxy. And I want him to want it. I have no way of knowing when he'll be ready again."

"Well then, patience young grasshopper." Demyx said calming down a bit. "Jack off like everyone else." I sat down and slammed my head into the table. I felt Demyx sit down next to me and wrap his arm around me. "You look exactly like Saix used to. First he would come to us saying 'I can't do anything, he's too young' then it was 'He's not ready, all he can think about is Xemnas'. He would always end up slamming his head into the table, or the wall. It was hilarious."

"I don't find this funny Dem." I said pathetically. "It took me forever to get over Xemnas, and I had actually had a few good experiences with sex, he hasn't." I sighed. "Roxas may never be ready."

"Do you love him enough to wait forever, jacking yourself raw."

I didn't even have to think about it, "Yes." Demyx nodded and began putting more groceries away. "Oh hey, Dem?"

"What's up Pyro?"

"Cloud, Roxas' dad wants me to invite you and Zex over to dinner tomorrow."

"Really, we get to meet the family? Like we're family?" Demyx asked excitedly.

"Yeah, so you wanna come?"

"Absolutely!" Demyx said before he yelled, which was completely unnecessary, to Zexion, "Zexy, we got plans tomorrow night!"

oOo

After Demyx and Zexion left I made my way into the kitchen where Axel was sitting at the table with his head in his hands. I didn't really feel like cooking so I just put a pot of water on the stove for macaroni and cheese. "Are you okay Axel?"

Axel brought his hands away from his face. The bruise from the cereal making incident was now completely visible. "Yeah I'm good Roxy." He smiled sadly at me. Damn you Demyx!

"So what plans do Demyx and Zexion have tomorrow?" I asked.

"They're coming with us to your dad's."

"We're going to my dad's?" I asked confused. When did this happen?

"Damn, you really wanted me, huh?" Axel smirked.

I put my head down. That was some truly shameful behavior I had exhibited. "Sorry." I said, not exactly sure what I was sorry for. I just felt sorry. And I was pretty sure Axel's new mood was my fault, or Demyx's. Damn Demyx.

"I'm not sure what you're sorry for." Axel said. "The only person I'm a little bit mad at is Demyx, but he's just trying to help."

"Why did you give him a key?" I asked.

"So I wouldn't have to wake up when he brought my groceries over. It was after Saix. I did a lot of sleeping back then." I wrapped my arms around Axel.

"I'm sorry I'm not ready yet." I said sincerely.

"I don't mind Roxas. I already told you, I'd wait forever for you."

**AN: There, not even a week. XD three days maybe.**

**I'm just that nice. Anyway, two days of very serious writing, I caused a few conflicts made it to Chapter 17, and decided I could start uploading again. But I'll be updating slowly, only once or twice a week.**

**I still don't have an ending but things are happening now. My chapters are a little shorter right now too. Sorry about that. I'm still working very hard on this, and devoting a lot of attention to it.**

*I thought it'd be fun to have a chapter with Roxas pushing Axel around, even though nothing happened, and it didn't really add to the story. I don't really have a plan when I start writing a chapter, and this is what happened.

**Thanks for all reviews, favs, and alerts I appreciate every single one of them.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14 – He Doesn't Look a Thing Like Jesus**

"Hey guys?" Sora beamed, "We've been helping Dad cook all day."

"Oh, this is gonna be exciting! I haven't had a family dinner since…uh," Demyx looked to Zexion who looked down sadly. I'd have to remember to ask Axel about that. "You know." An awkward silence followed.

"Um…okay. Come in." Sora invited.

This was this first time I had ever stepped foot inside my dad's home. The first thing noticed was that it was very inviting. It wasn't too clean like mom's house nor was it too messy. It was full of rich colors and modest furnishing. This was so much more comforting than mom's house.

"This is very nice dad." I said as my father walked into the room, Leon right behind him.

"I always thought your mom's house was too white, and clean." Dad said.

"Were you two having rough sex or something?" Leon, the man who rarely talked, asked me and Axel, who started cracking up. My jaw dropped.

"Leon!" Dad scolded.

"That's what I said." Demyx commented elbowing Zexion in the stomach. Riku and Sora were laughing along with Axel.

"Leon, why would you ask something like that?" Dad asked in a scolding tone.

"They both got bruises on their faces. And Demyx agrees with me."

"It's not very appropriate, and I'm sure it's not the reason. Right?" My father asked me.

"Oh, uh no that's not the reason. I got beat up on my way home and Axel had a fight with the kitchen.

"See." Dad taunted. "On your way home?" he asked as an afterthought.

"The kitchen again." Leon commented.

"Let's eat!" Sora cheered.

oOo

Roxas was having a wonderful time and I loved it. I just watched him laugh and enjoy his family as I picked at my food. The little bit that I had eaten was very good. Demyx tapped my shoulder lightly as I rolled a carrot around my plate. "What?" I whispered.

"You should eat something." Demyx whispered back.

"I'm not hungry." I admitted.

"Roxas said you haven't had breakfast or lunch either. Is this because of yesterday?" Demyx asked, "Because being horny isn't a good excuse."

"I'm fine, Dem. I'm just not hungry." I'll admit I have no idea why I'm not hungry, but I know it's not because I'm horny, as Demyx put it.

"The last time you stopped eating was after Saix died." Demyx insisted.

"He's correct in that. The only time you get anorexic on us is when you are depressed, and when you're doing drugs. We know it's not the latter." Zexion backed Demyx up.

"I don't think I'm depressed either. I'm just not hungry." I said as my pone began to ring. Hmm…he rarely calls me, it must be important. After excusing myself from the table to talk to Marluxia for a few minutes I came back to the room. "I have to go to a friend's house. Demyx drive Roxas home, and don't leave him until I get back." I walked over to Roxas giving him a chaste kiss before leaving.

oOo

My good mood immediately vanished as I watched Axel walk out the door. It may be illogical to be jealous and angry, but it only took one five minute phone call for Axel to run out the door and leave me alone. "Rox, are you okay?" My dad asked.

"Yeah, um…can, can I be excused?"

"Sure." My dad said somewhat confused. I got up from my chair and walked into the living room. After pacing for a bit I sat down in a chair and threw my face into my hands. Of course he'd have someone else, more important than me. I was just some druggie he wanted save. He didn't have a future with me.

Tears were pouring down my face and into my hands. How could I be so stupid and think I was important to someone? I felt a breeze go past me and heard a squish as someone sat down in the other chair. I continued to cry into my hands and ignore the intruder. When my crying finally died down the intruder spoke, "Do you want to talk?"

I looked through my puffy red eyes at Zexion and shook my head. I talked it through with myself already; Axel had someone better than me, what more is there to say. "You know you're the most important person in Axel's life, right?" Zexion asked like he could read my mind.

"If I'm so important, how could he just leave me? Xemnas is still looking for me, you know?" I cried.

"That's why he has Demyx and me driving you home, and staying there until he gets back." Zexion maintained.

"Just take me home." I begged him. He nodded and got up to get Demyx.

oOo

I walked into Marluxia's house, without knocking, saw him slouching on his couch and made my way over to him. His normally feathery pink hair was a tangled mess, his eyes were red from crying, and he had a bottle of whiskey in his hand. He looked up at me when I stopped in front of him

"He's gone, Axel, he's really gone." Fresh tears fell from his eyes and I quickly knelt down and wrapped my arms around him. "Do you know what tonight is?" I nodded, I remembered now. This is why I wasn't hungry. "Its poker night," Marly continued, "Saix is never gonna have another poker night with us?"

I stayed, several hours with Marluxia, comforting him. Once a month he Saix and I would get together for a poker night. Demyx and Zexion occasionally joined us, but it was mainly our thing, just the three of us. With Saix gone we hadn't gotten together for a poker night and it seemed that it was just now hitting Marluxia, that Saix wouldn't be doing _anything_ with us anymore. I knew exactly how Marly felt; I had already gone through this.

When Marly finally passed out I tucked him into his bed and left him a note, much like I did for Roxas his first night, telling him to call me if he needed me. It was a habit I picked up from my mom.  
Whenever she left early for work she would leave me a note. I saved all of them.

I was exhausted as I left Marly's house. All I wanted to do was cuddle up with my Roxy and sleep. Ten feet away from my car a fist connected with my face out of nowhere. I immediately sprung into action. Five, there were five of them and they looked like Xemnas' lackeys.

I went for the two big guys first, attacking with fists and kicks. My fist made a hard connection in the face of one of them sending him to the ground unconscious. I turned around to see four more men coming at me. Fearlessly I jumped into the fight, causing as much damage as possible, and taking out two more men. My ribs snapped and something hit the back of my head just before I passed out.

oOo

"Just take me home." Roxas begged." I nodded before getting up and walking to the dining room, where they were serving desert, towards Demyx.

"Roxas wants to leave." I whispered in his ear. He nodded and stood up.

"Mr. Cloud, Mr. Leon, this has been fun and I really hope you allow us to come back. But it's time for us to leave." Demyx announced. "Bye everybody."

"See you later."

"Bye."

"Thanks for coming."

"Roxas says bye too." I said before dragging Demyx out of the room and walking out the door with Roxas trailing behind us. Roxas climbed in the back as Demyx and I jumped in the front of my Jaguar XK.

"Who's he seeing?" Roxas asked from behind me.

Demyx, completely oblivious to Roxas emotions, answered, "A friend, that's what he said."

"Dem…" I sighed. "Roxas, it's most likely Marluxia. They're just friends. This is Axel, Saix, and Marly's poker night…" Demyx punched my arm, "Ow, what!?"

"That's why Axel wasn't eating?" He realized. I nodded and continued.

"Marly's been in denial about Saix's death. He probably realized that it's real, and nothing will change it. It makes sense that he would call Axel. I assure you Roxas, Axel only wants you."

oOo

I came to, face down, on a dirty mattress. I could tell my wrists and ankles were tied to the four bed posts, spreading my limbs far apart and immobilizing me. The last thing I noticed was that I was completely naked. As soon as I lifted my head I was punched in my already pained face.

"Axel, long time no see." Xemnas' voice filled the room. "Six years since I last sold drugs to you. I always did enjoy my time with you." He said as he climbed onto the bed and whispered in my ear, "You are a man of many talents."

I threw my head back, hitting Xemnas directly in the face and earning myself another punch, "Fuck off."

"Be nice! Axel you denied me my payment from Roxas. And you belittled me in front of him. I'm not happy about that." I listened to him unzip and pull down his pants. "Stay away from Roxas. I will get my payment from that cute little blond. If you try to stop me, there's no telling what I'll do to you."

"I'll take all the pain you got for me, you're not touching Roxas!" I hissed at him.

"We'll see." I held back a scream as Xemnas forcefully shoved himself into me without preparation or lubricant. I was able to save Roxas, but I wouldn't be able to save myself.

**AN: It seems I have a horrible habit of doing awful things to Axel when I'm in a rut. I think it's because he's my favorite character which means I consider him my main character. And you can't be afraid to do everything bad that you can possibly imagine to your main character.**

**You can't have a story where everyone's happy and everything goes right. **

**Anyway, I'm still on Chapter 17 for this story which means updating is still going to happen a little less (only a little). **

**Thanks for all reviews, favs, and alerts.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15 – He Doesn't Look a Thing Like Jesus**

At least the rape got better after he shot me up with heroin. But that was the euphoria stage, now I'm 'on the nod' (1) and going through a moment of drowsiness. Gods I'm walking so slow I think a snail just passed me. There it is? Oh glorious Reventon. My car is just feet from me, and my stomach is turning. Shit! Here's the vomiting stage. I fell to the ground and let my stomach contents flow.

After Xemnas had finished with me he tied my hands together, put a bag over my head and had his lackeys dump me on a street near my car. By this time the euphoria the heroin had given me was gone, and I was left naked on the cold ground with my bound hands holding my clothes. I think it took about thirty minutes to free my hands and figure out how to put my clothes on and it's taken at least fifteen minutes to find my car. I wiped my mouth on my shirt as I stood up from the ground.

When I finally made it to my car I fumbled around my coat pockets to find my key which I then dropped. I ended up emptying my stomach again when I bent down to pick them up. Once I got into the car I noticed my breathing was incredibly slow. I need to get home. It took me six attempts to get the key in the ignition, and start the car.

I ignored all traffic laws as I sped towards my apartment. Maybe, I don't really recognize this area. Hmm…I'll take a right. Gods don't let me get addicted again. Four years sober and it may all be ruined in one night. But it's better me than Roxas. Finally finding my apartment, I parked the car, amazingly without hitting anything. Staggering the entire way, I made it to my door. Again, I had to fuck with the damn key.

When I finally figured the key and the keyhole out I stumbled through the door and accidently slammed it shut, grabbing the attention of the three figures on the couch. I waved stupidly at them. What a great influence I am for Roxy. "Ze…Zex-y…we gotta, talk…I…n-need a…um…we gotta." I slurred out and paused to get my thoughts straight. "Um…a…an appoint…I need an appointment…tomorrow…m…m-morning…'kay."

"What happened?" Demyx asked, probably shocked by my haggard appearance.

"Are you drunk?" Zexion asked concerned.

"T-tom…orrow, Zex." I said before tumbling down the hall into my bedroom and collapsing on my bed.

oOo

"You're sure they're just friends." I asked sitting in between Demyx and Zexion on the couch.

"Yes we're sure." Demyx reassured me for the hundredth time. They were right. I'm probably just overreacting. Axel devotes all of his time to me. He adores me. I hope his friend is okay. I was snapped out of my thoughts when the door was slammed shut revealing a very sick looking Axel.

He was incessantly scratching his arm, his walking was incredibly sluggish, and his breathing was dangerously slow. Both Demyx and Zexion tensed up on either side of me. "Ze…Zex-y…we gotta, talk…I…n-need a…um…we gotta." Axel stopped. His speech was so slurred and slow, I don't think he realizes how long he's taking to think over his words. "Um…a…an appoint…I need an appointment…tomorrow…m…m-morning…'kay."

"What happened?" Demyx asked in a shaken voice. Axel's face now had more than the one bruise the kitchen gave him, his eyes were drooping, and he looked like hell.

"Are you drunk?" Zexion asked.

"T-tom…orrow, Zex." Axel slurred, and began stumbling down the hall. _With a limp!_ Like he just got drunk and had sex with his 'just friend'. Mind whirling I shot off the couch and stormed out of the apartment.

oOo

"I'll take care of Axel, you go after Roxas." Zexy said immediately rising to action. My sexy Zexy is always so level-headed. Damn that's hot. "Go!" He insisted, snapping me out of my fantasies.

"Right." I shot up from the couch and ran after my little pouty muffin. I ran through the hall down the stairs and found Roxas leaning on Axel's…holy crap! I have never seen Axel park his car like that. He was completely taking up two spaces. There was also a nice pile of puke next to it.

I walked up to Roxas and wrapped my arms around his trembling form. It seems he was crying again and my heart was breaking for him. "Roxy-poo, tell me what's going through that adorable little head of yours."

"You said they were just friends, Demyx." Roxas said as he buried his face in my chest.

"They are. I'm sure of it." I insisted. I knew it was true; all Axel ever talked about was Roxas.

"Then why did he get drunk and fuck him?" Roxas said angrily, before falling back into his depression and saying, "I can't even blame him because it's my fault."

"I don't believe Marly and Axel would sleep together. But I am curious as to why _you_ think that, and why you think it's your fault?"

"He was limping, like he had rough fucking sex. And he did it because I'm not giving it to him." Roxas cried into my chest.

"Roxy," I tried to use my most comforting voice, "Axel would never cheat on you. I'm sure there's another reason for his appearance."

"He's not satisfied with me. He has to get it somewhere."

"Axel's not like that. He loves you Roxy. You're the only one he wants. He told me so. He said he'd wait forever for you."

"Well apparently forever is to long!" Roxas yelled. "Can I sleep at your apartment?" He said in a softer tone.

"I guess so, but Roxy, I really don't think Axel would cheat on you."

oOo

I hurried through the apartment as Demyx ran out the door. I hope Axel is okay, he looked pretty messed up. When I got to his bedroom I walked to the bed where I found Axel passed out. I could smell the vomit on him. This was not like Axel. He was completely sober. He didn't drink alcohol, take medicine, or even drink coffee. There's no way I could believe he'd relapsed. Yet all his symptoms pointed to heroin.

I lifted Axel's foot to get his boot off. It looked like it was tied by a child trying for the first time. The second mimicked it and his socks looked like he'd given up halfway through putting them on. My hand slipped a little while I was pulling the second sock off and I thought I saw blood on his ankle. I carefully pulled his pant leg up a bit to get a better look. Dropping his leg, I put my hand to my mouth in surprise. There was dried blood all around his ankle which appeared to have been tied at some point. After recovering from my shock, I checked the other ankle and found it to be identical.

What happened Axel? Next I began working on his coat. His wrists were in the same condition as his ankles. I dry heaved as I removed his shirt. He definitely had a few broken ribs, there was bruising everywhere, it was disturbing to say the least. I could easily tell someone had been gripping him tightly on his arms and near his hips, and there wer bloody scratches running down his back and chest. Oh my God Axel, what happened?

I tried to find a spot on his tortured body, that wasn't covered in bruises, to put my hands so I could drag him under the covers. His mouth was so dry. I walked to the kitchen to get him a few glasses of water but before I could go back to the bedroom the doorbell rang.

When I opened the door I gave a confused look to Demyx and Roxas. "We left our keys in here." Demyx said as he dragged Roxas pass me. I got a good look at Roxas and realized he had been crying again. Demyx apparently noticed my staring and continued. "Roxy, thinks Axel's cheating on him, so he's going to come home with us."

"I don't think he's cheating on you Roxas, it's something else." I handed my keys to Demyx. "I'm going to stay with Axel tonight. He can't be alone. I'll see you tomorrow Dem." I leaned in to give him a passionate kiss. After seeing axel, I needed this comfort from him.

"Keep him safe for me Zexy." Demyx said before leaving with Roxas, who was still holding back tears.

oOo

Demyx's apartment was above the music shop and as soon as we walked in he said, "You know Roxy, Zexion is always right. If he says Axel isn't cheating then he isn't. And he was really worried about Axel. He rushed us out because he didn't want me to see. Roxy, there's no way Axel would cheat."

"Demyx, he's your friend, of course you both are going to try to convince me he's not cheating. Even if he only had sex because he was drunk, it's still cheating. I just want to go to bed." I told Demyx and he walked over to a closet to get a blanket and pillow.

"You can sleep on the couch Roxy. Good night." Demyx said before walking away. It was eating me away inside. I threw myself on the couch. I had believed Axel when he said he'd wait for me. But too many nights of denying him and he ended up in another man's bed. I got up from the couch and made my way to the bathroom, which was behind the first door I attempted. It didn't take long for me to find the medicine cabinet and get it open. However as soon as I opened it, it was slammed closed by Demyx's angry palm. "No." was all he said before he dragged me to his bedroom. "You're sleeping in here with me."

Thank God for Demyx. I curled myself into the bed and he climbed in next to me. If it weren't for him I definitely would've found some sort of drug and taken it. Axel had been the only thing keeping me form drugs and now he was with someone else.

**(1) 'on the nod' – an alternately wakeful and drowsy state**

**AN: If you want to see the difference between a depressed Marly and the normal Marly you can read "One Fine Melody" (Zemyx), if you haven't already. He and Saix are in that story briefly.**

**I actually did about two hours of research on the short term effects of heroin, so if I got it wrong it wasn't from lack of trying. And if you'd like to criticize me on the description of it I'd appreciate it if you did it in a nice, helpful way, rather than a scolding, mean way. Thank you. (I've never done drugs before so you'll have to excuse me).**

**I hope this chapter is okay, like i said i'm working my way through writer's block. I'm still writing chapter 17. I track my progress on my profile page, if you want to see where i am in writing any of my stories.**

**Thanks for all reviews, favs, and alerts**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16 – He Doesn't Look a Thing Like Jesus**

I was immediately nauseous when I woke up and swiftly turned over in bed to throw up over the side. Oh gods I feel like shit. Everything hurts, especially my ribs which I just aggravated by rolling over. I looked to my other side and found a mess of blue hair. Where's my Roxy? Not that he should see me. How awful am I, four years of sobriety and last night I was raped and drugged…and raped some more. Better me than Roxy though.

I sat up. Not a good move, my ribs screamed in pain and I became nauseous again, puking my guts out over the side of the bed again. I felt the bed move next to me and a hand reach out and touch my shoulder. I whipped around wrapping my arms around Zexion and buried my head in his chest. "Where's Roxy?" I asked in a raspy voice. Holy gods is my mouth dry. As if he read my mind Zexion handed me a glass of water. When I finished that one he had another one waiting. I went through five glasses before he spoke.

"He's with Demyx. He's pretty upset because he thinks you're cheating on him with Marluxia."

"Marly? I wouldn't do that, Zexy, I only want Roxy." I defended myself.

"I know that. And we had Roxas convinced of that until you came home limping and seemingly drunk."

"I didn't want to Zex." I whined. Everything hurt even worse when I thought about last night.

"Tell me what happened, Axel. I'm taking the morning off for you Axel. This is the appointment you asked for." That was one of the great things about Zexion. His biggest dream in life was to become a psychologist but he had always put his friends in front of his dream. His skipped so many classes in college because Saix needed him to talk to me. And me, being the asshole I am, I would only talk to Zexion. I refused to go to any other psychiatrist or therapist, and Zexion knew that. He knew he was the only one, so he put my needs in front of his goals. Even now, he's putting me in front of his dream job and patients.

"I went to Marluxia's like I said I was. He's just finally coming to the realization that Saix isn't coming back." My voice cracked a bit, "He was so upset Zex. It was awful and I knew exactly how he felt because I've been through this already. I stayed and talked with him, trying to comfort him, though I think you should be the one to talk to him Zexy, your words are magic. Eventually he fell asleep, or passed out, I'm not sure, he was pretty wasted and I put him in bed and left a note. You know how my mom used to leave me notes." Zexion nodded. I had told him about my mother in one of our previous sessions when I was much younger. "When I left I was jumped by five men and could easily tell that they were Xemnas'. I tried to fight them off Zexy, I guess I'm just as weak as I've always been." I said miserably.

"You are not weak. Xemnas had to use five, five Axel, five men to get you. He couldn't just send one nor do it himself because he knew you'd win. You are a very strong person Axel, you are not weak." Zexion reassured me.

"I don't feel strong." I muttered.

"That's what Xemnas does. He dominates and belittles someone until they have no confidence. You Axel, cannot be beaten. You have a strong personality and ability to quickly recover from most traumas. You've lived through being homeless, you've beaten drug addiction, you've started moving on from loosing Saix, and you've lived through losing your mother. Axel, you are strong, don't give Xemnas the satisfaction of beating you, because I know you are better than him." Zexion insisted. He was right, he always is. I've beaten all the shit life has thrown at me. And I had to be outnumbered to be taken down; he had to tie me to the bed to keep himself safe. I am strong, Zexion is right. See this is why I talk to him.

"You're right." I mustered up a small smile for him and he placed his delicate and comforting hand on top of mine.

"I'm glad you see it my way," He smirked, "Can you tell me what happened after Xemnas' men attacked you."

"I woke up in his house, at least I think it was his house, and I was tied face down to the four posts of his bed." I held up my arm showing the rope burns. "He told me to leave Roxas alone so he could get his payment from him. I refused. How can he just expect me to sit back and watch him rape my boyfriend?" I asked in disgust.

"I don't believe Xemnas thinks the same as most people. You and I would of course see that as disgusting, but Xemnas, I believe, has never cared for another person before. So he probably doesn't understand you putting yourself at risk to save Roxas." Zexion said smartly.

"I hate him. I wish I could say it's his fault. That everything that's happened to me is his fault but I can't."

"Why is that?" Zexion asked.

"Because, I wanted it. I wanted to make that pain go away. I gave him a hand job so he could make it go away, I didn't have to, I chose to. It was my decision. All of this is my fault because I'm a fucking druggie."

Zexion sighed and held my hand tighter as he thought about what to say, "First of all, you were twelve, Xemnas took advantage of your ignorance. He didn't tell you what the drugs would lead to. He only told you it would make the pain go away. And secondly, Xemnas being after Roxas is not in any way your fault. Roxas has made his own mistakes Axel."

"Does it make me a masochist to be happy that this was done to me and not Roxas?" I asked Zexion.

"No, it just shows how much you love Roxas. But could you tell me exactly what was done to you?" Zexion asked. This was the hard part, but Zexion, somehow, was easy to talk to. Besides I already told him about all the other times Xemnas raped me.

"He raped me and after the first time he shot me up with heroin. Zexy, I don't want to be addicted again." I begged. Zexion's eyes had gone wide at the new knowledge, specifically the drugs.

"We'll get you some Suboxone (1) if you need it. I'm not sure you will though. You're very strong willed. I think you'll be okay." Zexion reassured. "Did anything else happen?"

"After he drugged me he raped me a few more times. As you can see," I pointed to my bruised and scratched up torso, "he was very rough. He likes to make it hurt and I wasn't screaming for him. So he tried hitting and scratching and biting. I never did scream for him, I guess I won that. When he gave up he untied me and I was in too much pain to fight him. I was basically a limp noodle. He put a bag over my head, tied up my hands, and put my clothes in my arms. Then he had his men dump me on a street close to my car. Somehow, I think I managed to get to my car and get home without dying or killing anyone. I didn't mean to cheat on him Zexy. I didn't want that. I'm such a fucking asshole." I scolded myself looking into my lap to avoid any eye contact. Zexion's hand left mine and moved up to my shoulder. His other hand was placed under my chin and he used it to make me look him in his eye.

"Rape is not cheating, Axel. And you are one of the most amazing people I've ever met. You are not an asshole. Roxas will understand when he hears the truth. You did not cheat on him. Now, I need to know, tell me the truth. Do you have any desire to do more heroin?" Zexion said with his one visible eye carefully studying my face.

I thought about it carefully and shook my head. There was nothing I enjoyed about last night. The rush wasn't even as good as it used to be. All I could think about was Roxy and how I wanted to be strong for him. And then I remembered Saix. I was supposed to be staying strong for Saix. But the only person that I had been thinking of was Roxas. I'm a real fucking asshole. "Do you think I'm a horrible person for forgetting about Saix?" I asked Zexion.

"Oh god no, Axel." Zexion responded, wrapping his arm around me in a tight embrace. "Even if you're not thinking about him, he's always in your heart. Siax would want you to be happy. He would love to see you now Axel. Uh…pre last night. You've been happy again. You've recovered and he would love it Axel. Don't ever feel bad about thinking of Roxas instead of Saix. Believe me; Saix would want it this way. He would want you to be happy with Roxas."

"I think your right."

"Of course I am." Zexion said making me laugh.

"What am I going to do about Roxas? He probably hates me now. And Xemnas is still looking for him."

"You'll have to tell him the truth, and you know Demyx and I will help keep him safe."

"Let's go find my Roxy."

"Alright."

oOo

Demyx sat across from me at the kitchen table with, what I assume, is his serious face on. "Roxy darling, moping time is over. And last night's little stunt with the medicine cabinet…" Demyx let the sentence hang for a moment. "I'm not very happy about that. There was no reason for that."

"The person who's been holding me together these past months is cheating on me. It hurts; I wanted to dull the pain." I explained myself. "Thanks, by the way, for being there for me."

"You're welcome, but Roxas, you have to get this straight, Axel would rather die than cheat on you."

"Doesn't seem like it." I mumbled. Demyx's fist slammed onto the table and his normally happy face was filled with rage. I was shocked; I'd never seen Demyx like this.

"I will not have you talk about Axel like this! He's one of the greatest people I've ever known. He's been through so much shit, and he still has the ability to love and care. I know Axel, he would never do that to you or anyone else. And he doesn't drink!" Demyx yelled at me.

"Then why was he drunk and limping?" I recovered.

"I knew Axel in his drinking days. That was not a drunk Axel."

"Then what was…" I was interrupted by the door opening and Zexion walking in closely followed by Axel. I turned my eyes away from him, but not before seeing his appearance. His face looked very similar to mine, except both sides were multicolored and swollen. He had a hoodie on but I could see he had bruising on his knuckles and neck, and he looked very dazed.

I heard our company pull out two chairs and sit down before Axel spoke, "Roxy I'm…"

"There's no excuse Axel!" I spat, still looking anywhere but at him.

"I know…" Axel whispered dejectedly, before he was stopped by Zexion hitting the back of his head. I hid the smile I got at the cute little whimper Axel uttered. Then scowled and hissed in pain when Zexion hit the back of my head.

"This is enough! Axel I told you it's not your fault. Roxas, you're not even letting him explain. That is unfair. Axel did not cheat on you. He's probably lucky to be alive. Xemnas punished him for saving you Roxas. And Axel feels like he's done something wrong." Zexion reprimanded.

"What?" I asked looking up and seeing Axel watching the floor, looking incredibly depressed and ashamed.

"Xemnas doesn't like to be made a fool." Zexion said coldly. "Axel did nothing but comfort Marluxia. Xemnas had his men jump Axel for him. He then preceded to rape, drug, and then rape Axel some more." Zexion finished.

My Axel, my poor Axel. That was the reason for the drunken limping, he still loves me. I jumped across the table and landed in his lap wrapping him in my arms. How could I be such an ass? I just assumed, and he didn't do a damn thing. All he did was protect me. I cried into Axel's shoulder as one of his arms wrapped around me and the other found its way into my hair. "I'm so sorry Roxy. I really am so sorry. I didn't mean to do that. Can I ever earn your forgiveness?"

I can't believe he's apologizing for something that's not his fault. "Shh…you didn't do anything, there's nothing to forgive. I'm sorry for not trusting you. I love you."

"I love you too Roxy."

"Zexy." Demyx whispered loudly, "I think we should leave them alone so they can resume the baby making."

"Zexion smiled before whispering just as loud to Demyx, "Trust me, that's not happening. I'm surprised Axel can even stand."

"Demyx's eyes became large with concern and he flew across the table, Zexion tried and failed to stop him as he knocked both Axel and me to the ground. "Oww." Axel groaned.

"Tell me where it hurts Axey. I'll make it feel better." Demyx said searching with his hands, for all of Axel's injuries.

"Let Roxas make him feel better, you're mine." Zexion said pulling Demyx off of us.

"You're right. The baby makin' will happen faster if Roxas is the one who licks him all better." Demyx smiled.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"Aw, don't deny it muffin, you know Axel is yummy." Demyx teased.

"Hey!" Zexion said offended.

"Oh, no one's more delicious than you Zexy." Demyx said before capturing Zexion's lips.

"Come on, Roxy. Let's go home before they do their own baby making. I'd also like to have a warm bath. I'm really sore."

I looked over my shoulder to see Zexion now had Demyx lying across the table with his shirt pulled up so Zexion could place kisses along his abdomen. I quickly got up from the floor and helped Axel to his feet. "Let's hurry."

oOo

The warm bath water felt so medicinal against my cuts, bruises, and sore bones. I closed my eyes and sunk deeper into the water. I didn't hear the door open nor did I notice the towel drop. I only realized I had company when Roxas stepped into the tub and sat across from me, his blue eyes watching me carefully. "Roxy?" I questioned confused at his actions. He'd never let me see him naked before, and he was definitely naked, beautifully naked. He was perfection.

Roxas moved so he was holding himself above me and he leaned down to lick one of the open wounds on my chest. "I'm making you feel better, like you did for me." He went back to licking one wound at a time. His knees were resting between my legs and an arm was holding him up on either side of me. "But no sex, I'm sorry I still can't do that."

I couldn't help but smirk at him. On any other day he would be completely irresistible in this situation. The atrocious pain in my ribs was the only thing keeping me from ravishing him right here in the tub. Our naked bodies were sliding against each other in the warm water, driving me crazy. "You're lucky my ribs are broken and I can barely breathe without causing myself excruciating pain."

"Hmm…I think you could control yourself." Roxas said before trailing kisses along my neck.

"I don't' know." I insisted. And if he moves at all he'll find out himself just how serious I am. You can't blame me though, how am I supposed to control what happens when Roxy starts licking every inch of my skin.

"I still think you could…" Roxas said as he turned himself around and laid his back gently across my chest, sitting right between my legs. Uh oh! "Or not." He commented at feeling my obvious arousal against his back.

"Well, what did you expect when you started licking me, naked, in a tub?" Roxas chuckled before resting his head against me and closing his eyes. I wrapped my arms around him and closed my eyes as well. We sat like this until the water went cold. The comfort of Roxas lying across my broken chest, kept my thought away from Xemnas. For the moment.

**(1) drug used to help to wean you off heroin**

**I am still in the middle of writing chapter 17 (thanks to writer's block) so I'm not sure when my next update will be. Hopefully sometime next week.**

**This chapter was much shorter when I originally wrote it. I ended up adding a lot more emotions and conversation in the scene with Axel talking to Zexion, attempting to make it more realistic. Hopefully I did well.**

**I felt Zexion is the most rational in the group, seeing as he's a shrink, so that's why he is the one who knocks, literally, some sense into Roxas and Axel. And now they're back together.**

**I appreciate all reviews, favs, and alerts, thank you.**


	17. Chapter 17

AN: I know I've been doing a horrible job on the updating recently and there is a reason for that. And that is, I am not writing ahead of where I'm typing anymore. It's not on purpose, I would much rather be writing chapter 20 right now but alas, I am only writing chapter 18. Same story goes for "Once upon a midnight dream". And then I just forgot about "Here, at the Other Side".

Anyway, hopefully I won't keep you waiting for more than a week for the next update, but I can't make promises.

Disclaimer: I don't own Lysol (you'll read why later). The reason I don't put a disclaimer on every chapter is because I don't own KH and I never will. It's not going to change, so I feel it only needs to be said once. (Although with any luck I may own the game soon, and play it for the first time, since my brother gave me his PS2).

**Chapter 17 – He Doesn't Look A Thing Like Jesus**

I was abruptly woken from my blissful sleep by Axel's thrashing. He'd never, in all my time with him, had a bad dream before. They way he was thrashing around on his stomach, letting small whimpers escape him was frightening me.

I dragged my tired body closer to Axel and placed a comforting hand on his back, gently rubbing. "Shh…Axel, it's just a dream." I whispered running my hand along his spine. His movements decreased but he was still whimpering. Carefully maneuvering myself to avoid aggravating his broken ribs, I began kissing a trail up his back and onto his neck, where something caught my eye.

Pulling my head back I moved Axel's hair. The moonlight shinning through his window lit up a tattoo on the back of his pale neck. ROXAS. I allowed Axel's hair to fall back into place as all his movements and whimpering ceased. His hands were gripping tightly at his pillows and he moaned before painfully rolling himself over, while I silently watched. Once he managed to get himself on his back he opened his eyes and confusion fell across his face, "Roxy?"

"You were having a bad dream, I tried to wake you up." I said.

"Oh," He nodded, "did it work?" Axel asked sleepily. I couldn't suppress a laugh. Damn he was out of it.

"I guess not." I joked at Axel's oblivious question. Apparently he wasn't completely awake yet. "When did you get the tattoo on the back of your neck?" I asked curiously.

"Um…please don't think I'm a lunatic. I got it after I learned your name." Axel said, his voice becoming more awake.

"Why?"

"You gave me something to live for. Before you came I was just going through the motions. I wasn't really living. Then you came, and you made me feel again." Axel explained before I smiled and placed my lips on his.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Roxy."

"What was your dream about?" I asked before pressing our lips together again.

"Xemnas." Axel answered against my lips. I pulled away making him pout, which was absolutely adorable.

"About what he did to you?" I question further.

"No." He said before agonizingly lifting himself up to crash his lips to mine again. For a brief moment I forgot what we were talking about and kissed him back passionately. When I did come back to my senses I pushed his head back to the pillows.

"Then what was it about?" I asked curiously. When I shifted my body around Axel the moonlight showered across his face and I saw tears forming in his eyes. "Axel?" I'd only seen him cry once before and that was when he thought he was losing me.

"I um…" Axel wiped the tears away before they could fall. "It was a bad, bad dream." He paused in thought. I almost thought he wasn't going to continue, but then, "I dreamt that Xemnas had found you and I tried to go save you. I almost got to you, almost, but then the heroin held me back. Xemnas started…he was doing things to you, and I just watched. I did nothing, even though my head was telling me to move, my body was being held back by the weight of the heroin. I couldn't' help you. I let him…" Axel choked back a sob and turned his head away from me. I brought my hand up, gently turning his head to face me. Then I slowly kissed each one of his tears away.

"Never be ashamed to cry, especially in front of me." I said nuzzling my head next to his.

"I'm just not used to it. This is only the second time I've cried since my mom died." Axel revealed.

"Wow, that's…that's ten years. I'm sorry."

"For what?" Axel asked as he let his fingers trace my lips.

"I've made you cry twice in only a few days when you haven't cried in ten years." Roxas explained.

"Roxas, I've wanted to be able to cry for ten years. I should be thanking you. So don't apologize." Axel paused for a moment before continuing, "I love you so much it hurts to see you hurt, or even to think about the possibility of you hurting. And when I think about losing you it feels like I could break into a million little pieces that only you can put back together."

"I know exactly how you feel." I said laying my head down on his shoulder. That was exactly what I felt like when I thought he was cheating on me. He summed it up perfectly. Axel sighed, laced his hand through my hair, and smiled at me.

"So you don't think I'm insane for feeling like this?" Axel asked.

"I would be a hypocrite if I said I did." I responded and then a thought crossed my mind. "Didn't you feel like this with Saix?" Axel's face became saddened.

"I loved Saix, but I'm coming to realize that I love you more. I feel bad for saying that, but loving you feels so right. It feels good. With Saix I felt he sometimes indulged me because of what I'd been through and it was always like he was being careful with me, like I was breakable. And now I'm afraid I'm making that same mistake with you."

"I like how you treat me. You always know the right things to do and say. I need that Axel, I need you."

"I think that was another problem me and Saix had. I needed Saix but he didn't need me. But with us, you and me, I need you just as much as you need me. I think that's' why I love you more. I don't feel like a burden with you."

"You're definitely not a burden. You're a wonderful gift that I never want to let go of." I said running my finger across his bottom lip. Axel smirked before poking his tongue out and capturing my finger in his mouth. I couldn't suppress the giggle that escaped me before Axel released my finger with a final lick and brought my lips back to his.

Eventually, as we cuddled together in bed, we found ourselves drifting off to seep, once again. My final thought before I fell asleep was, 'I hope he'll be okay.'

oOo

_a few hours earlier_

I rolled off of Demyx to lie next to him on the kitchen table. His eyes were glazed over and he was still panting heavily. It was fortunate that Axel and Roxas had decided to leave or they would have gotten quite the show. Demyx rolled onto his side, to face me, and smiled, "You're going to need a lot of Lysol to clean this table." He commented with a hint of mischief in his voice.

I shook my head and ruffled his already messed up mullhawk. "Maybe I'll have you scrub it clean. Then I'll have the privilege of watching your ass shake with your vigorous movements."

"Demyx beamed, "Then we'll get to make it messy all over again!"

"And the vicious cycle will repeat itself."

"Well, I won't complain about that." Demyx said, leaning down and capturing my lips. My tongue quickly invaded my lover's mouth. I still woke up everyday utterly surprised and completely grateful that I still had the adorable blond. Eight years and we were still going strong. I could never see myself with someone else. The reason it surprised me was because we were indeed, high school sweethearts. I was Demyx's first boyfriend and he was my second. Somehow we were just meant to be together and we were lucky enough to find each other at a young age, because now we have _that_ many more years to spend together. Demyx gave my bottom lip one last lick before pulling away. "Do you think Axel and Roxas will be okay?"

"Remember when you got mad at me a few years ago because I said I didn't think Axel and Saix were meant to be together. I said there was someone better out there for Axel."

"Yeah."

"I think Roxas is that someone. I'm not saying Axel and Saix didn't love each other, but I don't think they ever could have achieved the level of love that I am sure Axel and Roxas will soon, if they haven't already, experience. And I believe when you're with the one you're meant to be with, everything will be okay. As unproven and unscientific as that is, I truly believe it. How can I not after eight year with you." Demyx smiled that adorable smile I could never get enough of, and I placed a chaste kiss on his lips before continuing. "They have a rough road ahead of them, but I think they'll make it as long as they're together, and as long as they have us to help them on their way."

Demyx nodded his agreement happily before resting his head on my chest. 'I love you so much Zexy, and I'm never gonna stop."

"Me neither Dem I'll love you even after forever."

oOo

I awoke, way too early, to an agonizing pain in my ribcage. I carefully unwrapped myself from Roxas, without waking him, and painfully rolled myself off the bed. Drugs or alcohol would be lovely right now. I sighed and scolded myself for that thought as I shuffled into the bathroom and lightly closed the door.

I stared into the sink, mentally preparing myself, before facing my reflection in the large mirror. Gods, I looked like the wrath of all gods. I had avoided looking in the mirror yesterday, and now I'm grateful I did. I probably wouldn't have been able to handle it yesterday, hell, I didn't know if I could handle it today.

In the mirror I could see that my face was littered with black and blue bruises cause by Xemnas' lackeys. I saw the bites Xemnas left on my neck, the gouges he'd put in my body with his nails, and the bruises from his hands griping too tightly. My body began to involuntarily shake as I remembered how I received each mark marring my pale skin. Then I closed my eyes, willed the horrid images of Xemnas away and focused on the memory of Roxas licking each of my wounds, and cuddling with me for hours in the tub.

With renewed determination I opened my eyes and looked back at my reflection once more. After a few deep breaths there was no more shaking, only Roxas' strength holding me together. With my confidence back in check I brought my wrist up and gently prodded it with one of my fingers. That was too much.

My knees became weak and I crashed to the floor. My hands clutched at my hair tugging hard as I held back my screams. It was happening all over again. Xemnas was ramming himself into me over and over causing the ropes to pull at my wrist and ankles. His nails were digging themselves into my back and stomach; his teeth were buried in my neck. A needle was being shoved into my skin. Everything was happening again, and I tried as hard as I could to hold my screams in.

**AN: So this chapter actually has a theme, kind of. The purpose of it was to show that Saix and Axel's relationship was not as perfect as Axel thought. Don't be mistaken, Axel and Saix did love each other but it was more of a first love, type of love. I tried to explain it to the best of my ability.**

**I know the Zemyx scene was a little corny; maybe, it depends on the reader's opinion, I guess. But I wanted to show how strong Demyx and Zexion's relationship is, even after eight years together. Plus, I got to work in one the names of one of my favorite bands into it. After Forever.**

**Once again, if you have not read "One Fine Melody" that is the story of how Zemyx got together. I have recently edited it again. I changed a few lines and added one that I somehow skipped the first time I wrote it. Hopefully that scene makes more sense now.**

**Sorry about the short length of this chapter, and the cliffhanger, since I doubt I'll get Chapter 18 up before next week.**

**Thanks for all reviews, favs, and alerts, I appreciate every single one.**


	18. Chapter 18

AN: So I think you can kind of tell that I'm really just making up things as I go at the moment. Like I've said, I will never give up on a story, and generally after a little bit of writing with no idea where it's going to go I'll come up with an idea. When that happens the story may get better. Right now I'm just causing conflicts. Hopefully it's enjoyable anyway. I was okay with the chapter, even though I only vaguely know where the story's going. So enjoy, hopefully it doesn't sound bad.

WARNING: Cloud and Leon are probably very OOC. I've never played the game, (though hopefully I will soon) and I can't tell on my own if they're OOC, but from the other stories I've read I think they are.

**Chapter 18 – He Doesn't Look A Thing Like Jesus**

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was that the bed was empty. My warm redhead seemed to have wandered away. I sat up in the bed stretched my arms and legs, rubbed my eyes, and heard a whimper come from the bathroom. That's not a good sound to hear, especially after your boyfriend was raped by a maniac. I was immediately awake as I jumped off the bed, ran to the bathroom and ripped open the locked door, after some initial struggling. The sight laid before me in the now open doorway had me gasping.

Axel was writhing on the floor, his hands were practically ripping out his hair, his face was agonized, and I think he was trying to hold back screams resulting in the release of those miserable whimpers. I rushed over to his side and kneeled down in front of him. "Axel. Axel, I don't know what to do. How do I help you Axel?" I begged, but it was like he couldn't hear me, like he was in his own universe. All he did was pull harder on his strangely beautiful hair and keep his eyes glued shut.

I brought a hand down over his wrist and tried to pull it away from his hair. But as soon as my hand touched him his eyes flashed open and I saw fear and hatred as he shoved me away from him. "No, no, no. Leave me alone…" He begged in a desperate voice. Then he crawled, backwards, away from me, backing as far as he could into a corner of the bathroom. He brought his knees up to his chest and buried his head in them. His head started shaking and he was rocking back and forth when he let his voice be heard again. "You can't do this Xemnas. Stop…Leave him alone...stop!"

I was only somewhat relieved to know that it was Xemnas that he shoved and told to leave him alone. I was beginning to freak out. With no idea what to do, I ran out of the bathroom and grabbed the nearest phone. I quickly dialed the only number I could think of and waited for an answer. "What the fudging hell! It's four in the morning!" came Demyx's grumpy and tired voice.

"Dem, I need to talk to Zexion, right now!" I demanded. I heard some ruffling and a grunt before Demyx spoke, _'Zexy, Roxas needs to talk to you. Right now!'_ he mimicked my voice.

"Roxas, are you okay? What's wrong?" Zexion said urgently.

"I'm okay, it's…it's," I lost my composure as tears fell down my face and my voice became shaky. "It's Axel. I don't know what happened. He's freaking out, ripping his hear out, holding back screams, shaking, and… talking to an imaginary Xemnas. I don't know what to do. Zexion, he's hurting and I don't know how to help Zexion, what do I do. I-I…I…"

"Roxas, shhhh. First, I need you to calm down." Zexion said in a soothing voice, and I thought I heard the ruffling of clothes being put on. "Roxas, are you still with me?"

"Yes." I said in a much calmer voice, taking carful deep breaths and releasing them slowly.

"Okay, you are going to try to snap Axel out of it by making him realize who you are and where he is. Don't touch any of his injuries, use a soft voice, and soft reassuring touches. Try to get him to look into your eyes. Your eyes are very memorable. I'll be there in a couple minutes, okay?" Zexion said in a levelheaded tone.

"Okay."

"If you need me before I get there call my cell, alright?"

"Okay. A few minutes?" I asked.

"Yes." Zexion reassured.

After we hung up I walked back to the bathroom. Axel was in the same position still shaking his head, rocking back and forth, and letting out a few whimpers. I silently made my way to him and for the second time kneeled next to him. I reached a hand out and hovered it over him before I tenderly placing it on his back. Axel jumped at the contact and his rocking became more violent.

When Axel settled down somewhat, I ran my hand along his spine in a comforting manner. "Axel, Axel, it's me Roxas. Do you remember me?" I really hoped I was doing this right. I felt like shit knowing that Axel had been able to help me and I couldn't even comfort him. "Axel, can you look me in the eyes. Please?" I asked as I moved closer to him. His head was lifted from his knees but his eyes stayed averted. "Please." I nuzzled my face against his lightly, before gently pressing my lips against his. As our lips lingered together our eyes met and I saw realization cross those mesmerizing green eyes, causing a sense of relief to run through me.

The fear remained, but the hatred left as Axel brought his hands up to my face and depend the kiss. I opened my mouth to allow Axel entrance, but rather than his normal confident intrusion, he flicked his tongue out hesitantly before finally entering my mouth. Before I even had a chance to enjoy it he pushed me away. "Roxy, I'm sorry. I thought I could handle seeing it. I couldn't." Axel apologized and then his face turned horror struck. "I shoved you. I hurt you. How bad is it, what did I do?" Axel threw his face into his hands.

"Axel, it's okay. I'm not hurt, you didn't do it too hard," okay that was a flat out lie, he had shove me hard, but in this case, I felt lying was necessary. "Beside you thought I was Xemnas." When Axel still didn't seem to be convinced I pulled off the large shirt I had worn to bed, leaving me in just my boxers. "Look." I grabbed one of Axel's hands and placed it on my bare unmarred chest.

I sucked in a breath when I felt Axel's hand brush across my nipple and his mouth covered the other. "Ahn…Axel." Axel pulled me onto his lap and trailed kisses up my neck as he clung desperately to me. "Axel, mmm…Zexion's on his way over."

I heard Zexion clear his throat and both Axel and I turned to see Demxy in his blue flannel pajamas and Zexion wearing jeans and an unbuttoned shirt, quickly put on, standing in the doorway of the bathroom. "We're here." Demyx tried to sound enthusiastic but he was too tired to pull it off.

"Dem, go lie down." Zexion said and Demyx easily obeyed, disappearing into the bedroom. Zexion watched Demyx leave and I assumed he made it to the bed safely when Zexion turned back to us and sat down next to Axel. "So, are things under control?" He said with both eyes, surprisingly, on us because his hair was tied back. I shrugged and looked at Axel.

"Yeah, I think I'm okay, for now, but I'll probably have to have some talks with you. I'm sorry I woke you." Axel apologized again.

"Nah, Don't apologize Axel. I'm always here for you. Zexion responded as he wrapped an arm around Axel. "Come on. You two need to get more sleep, you can skip work today. And Axel, we'll have sessions every day." The three of us stood up and walked into the bedroom, only to find Demyx soundly sleeping under the covers on our bed. Zexion and I paused at the end of the bed while Axel continued to move forward. He lifted the blanket, pushed Demyx over some and crawled in. Then he patted the bed next to him, inviting me to join him. I didn't hesitate and made my way to the bed and under the covers, cuddling next to me tormented redhead. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Zexion shrug and join us in the bed on Demyx's side.

oOo

"Who knew four men could fit in that bed." I heard Dad's voice say, amazed at the sight of four grown men in Axel's queen sized bed. My eyes were still closed, having just been woken by the whispering of our intruders.

"Well you know, Roxas is kind of small. It's more like three and a half men." Sora's voice responded and I heard someone, probably Riku, chuckle.

"Those two have really got to stop with the rough sex. I mean, hell, look at Axel. Your son's got a wild side." Leon spoke.

"Leon!" Dad scolded and I felt Axel's chest move up and down, under my head, as he started laughing. Then he hissed in pain and realized where my head was. I quickly moved off of him to help relieve some of the pain he'd caused his ribs by laughing. While Axel recovered himself I looked around the room and waved to Dad, Leon, Sora and Riku, who were standing next to the bed. When I shifted my eyes to the bed I laughed at seeing Demyx completely turned around. His head was now at the foot of the bed and Zexion was pushing his feet away from his face at the head of the bed.

Zexion finally gave up with a huff, and sat up leaving Demyx's feet in his lap. His normally emotionless face was plastered with a frustrated look. I had to clap my hands over my mouth to keep from laughing, though I could hear Riku chuckling, and Sora giggling in the background. The hair tie was barely keeping Zexion's hair tied back, and the many strands that were now loose were sticking up in every direction, which looked hilarious on the normally pristine Zexion. As Demyx sat up I saw that his normally gelled mullhawk was sticking up on one side and lying flat on the other side. I bit down on my knuckles when I couldn't keep my laughter back. I was pretty sure if Axel could laugh without causing himself pain he would be cracking up rather than holding his ribs and smirking at Zexion and Demyx.

Demyx pouted at my not so silent laughter, and Axel's silent laughter. Zexion glared at us before raising a hand, flicking us off, and dragging Demyx off the bed and into the bathroom. As soon as the door closed I let all of my laughter out, along with Riku, Sora, Leon, and Dad. "Well this has been a pretty entertaining morning." Axel said with humor in his voice.

"Tell me about it" I said recovering from my laughing fit.

"Afternoon." Dad interrupted.

"What?!" I asked in disbelief.

"It's one o'clock. We're here because we went to the music shop but you all weren't there. It hadn't even been opened." Sora explained.

"And how'd you get in?" Axel asked.

"Someone left the door unlocked." Said Riku.

"Which really isn't a good idea with the wild sex and orgies going on in this apartment." Leon commented, and Dad hit him in the stomach.

"What happened to you Axel?" He asked, "And if what Leon thinks is true, please, for the love of God, lie."

"I got tortured drugged and raped by my ex drug dealer to scare me away from Roxas." Axel confessed.

"Oh God, my son's wild in bed." Dad said, thinking Axel was lying, and hiding his face in his hands. I felt my face heat up as a blush started to form and buried it in the blankets that were still covering me.

"He wasn't lying, Cloud." We all turned to see Zexion and Demyx standing in the bathroom doorway. Zexion's hair was now fixed and he was working gel into Demyx's hair. And Demxy seemed to be enjoying the feeling of Zexion's finger's sliding through his hairs. His eyes were closed and I think he may have actually purred.

"Oh my God, really. I'm so sorry." Dad apologized.

"At least it wasn't the kitchen again." Leon muttered.

"Show some compassion." Dad scolded.

"I am. I'm sympathizing with his kitchen troubles."

"He was just raped tortured and drugged and you're thinking about the kitchen."

"No, he just got raped, tortured, and drugged, by someone who isn't any of us, therefore we can't do anything about what's already happened and I'm taking his mind off of it by bringing up the bastard kitchen." Leon explained, voicing more words than I'd heard from him in my entire life.

"My gawd!" Sora exclaimed, "You _can_ talk." Everybody started laughing at this, even Leon joined in after glaring at Sora for a moment. The only exception was Axel because his ribs didn't allow it. As the laughter began to die down, Demyx ran and jumped onto the bed, jostling it, and causing Axel to groan in pain. Frustrated with his carelessness, I shoved him off the bed and cuddled with Axel again. Demyx crawled across the floor toward Zexion, who met him halfway and embraced him, all the while glaring daggers at me for daring to touch his lover.

"Hey, stop staring my boyfriend down!" Axel defended me.

"He hurt Demyx!" Zexion hissed.

"S'okay, Zexy. I hurt Axel first, and Roxas didn't actually hurt me." Demyx interfered. "Kiss and make up, Zexy, Axel." When no one moved Demyx stood up and walked behind Zexion. He then pushed Zexion across the room to stand next to Axel and me. "See, watch." Demyx said as he gathered me in his arms and nearly squeezed the life out of me. "I forgive you, and you forgive me, right muffin?" I nodded due to the lack of oxygen making its way to my lungs.

"Dem…air." I gasped and he quickly let go, smiling sheepishly.

"Now your turn." Demyx pushed Zexion into Axel, at which point Axel took Demyx's words seriously by grabbing Zexion's face and kissing his cheek.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you Zexy." Axel gushed, jokingly, while Zexion wiped the wet kiss off of his cheek.

"And I'm sorry for glaring at Roxas."

"This is almost better than TV." Riku commented and Dad, Leon, and Sora nodded in agreement. "By the way, why are Demyx and Zexion here?"

"We came over early this morning to take care of a situation. Demyx fell asleep so we decided to stay." Zexion explained vaguely.

"Situation?" Dad asked.

"Do you really expect there not to be trauma after what Axel's been through?" Zexion asked like the situation was obvious.

"Oh." Dad said realizing what he'd meant.

"Does that mean the music shop isn't going to be open today?" Sora pouted.

"Aw poop!" Demyx exclaimed, grabbing Zexion's hand and hauling him out of the room.

After watching Demxy and Zexion leave, Dad turned back to face Axel and me. "So are you okay, Axel?" He asked.

"I'm sure I'll be fine. One of my best friends is a psychologist."

"Well in that case, why the fuck was your drug dealer trying to keep you away from Roxas?!"

"Oh, um…" Axel looked to me and I shrugged not caring if he continued. "Roxas owes him money but he doesn't want money anymore, so he tried to rape Roxy the other day but I stopped it."

"Why was I not informed of this!" Dad shouted.

"I didn't really think about it Dad. Until recently we haven't talked much." I explained. "I didn't even tell Zexion right away."

"I guess that makes sense. I'm sorry we don't talk."

"Hey, as recovering drug addicts we should know it's not the past that counts, it's the present, and what we make of our futures." I reassured. "So forget about your previous treatment of me and make up for it by spoiling me and my boyfriend rotten." I got a laugh from him at that and a pat on my back from Axel.

"I've taught you well my young apprentice. Now help me up, I can't move." I quickly got out of the bed and helped to guide Axel, relieving some of the strain on his ribs, off the bed. Once he was standing he was able to walk himself to the bathroom.

When I was sure Axel was okay I turned back to my dad, "So how're you going to start spoiling us?"

"By taking Axel to a doctor." Leon responded.

"Though that's necessary it's hardly fun." I commented dully.

"We'll go out for ice cream afterwards." Dad compromised.

"That sounds good to me."

"Me too!" We heard from the bathroom.

"And later we'll use your and Axel's discounts at the music store." Sora added. "Now we have a day full of fun, minus the doctors, that's not fun."

"Sorry to burst your bubble So,"Dad started.

"But over half the day is already over." Leon finished.

"We still got all night." Axel said, smirking in the bathroom doorway.

**AN: So, this was a long chapter. I finished my first notebook for this story and started a new one. The new note book is college ruled, and 8 pages of that is more than 8 pages wide ruled, which is what I normally do. I also wrote longer paragraphs than usual. So it's about 2,900 words.**

**I haven't even started to write chapter 19 so I can't tell you how long it will take to update. But I hope to have it up in less than a week.**

**If anyone cares, I got a fictionpress account, under the same name. I will update a story on there eventually (within the next couple of weeks); I just have to figure out which one I want to try first. The genre I write is generally Supernatural/Romance.**

**My final piece of news is that college starts in twenty days. This means my weekly updating will not happen anymore. I will do my best, but I put school first. Very sorry about that.**

**Thanks for any and all reviews, alerts, and favs.**


	19. Chapter 19

AN: …So this is probably the last chapter I'll update before school starts. But I'm excited about this one. You won't be, you've been warned. This is gonna piss all of you off, I'm sure. But I don't care how many threats I get, the beginning of chapter 20 is already written and I'm keeping it the way it is.

This was a very hard chapter for me to write and to type, but I'm very happy with the end results. The beginning is a bit slow because I was still working through my writer's block. But the ending…the ending is everything I wanted it to be.

WARNING: ONE SERIOUS CLIFFHANGER

Word Count: 3,455 (the most I've ever written for this story, I think)

_*EvilScotsman: I kind of worked in "Find out who your friends are". I know it's not the right story, but I fit it in anyway cuz it worked. And it's a very small line, "…what's in it for me, or this is too difficult…' Yeah, if you listen to the song, there's a resemblance_ ^_^

**Chapter 19 – He Doesn't Look a Thing Like Jesus**

Cloud really did force me to go to the hospital, where I avoided questions like I had a dirty secret. And I did. Whenever you say you used to do drugs the doctors only look at that, so I failed to mention that tiny tid bit. I simply told them I was drugged and raped. After a ton of indecent poking and prodding, many needles, some stolen blood, and a sucker that I forced them to give me, I walked into the waiting room.

I pulled the sucker out of my mouth and waved my and above my head in greeting, "I played my part. Ice cream time!" I informed everyone.

Cloud looked at me expectantly, "Axel, what happened?"

"What happened with what?" I stuck the sucker back in my mouth as I sat down next to Roxas.

"What did the doctor say?" Roxy asked me with his blue eyes full of concern.

"I'll be getting my blood test back in two weeks, all of the instant tests were negative, I should report the rape, and apparently I'm a child because I wanted a sucker. I don't think the doctor liked me." I answered Roxas. "So, ice cream, yeah?"

"Are you going to report it?" Sora asked.

"No."

"Why?" Cloud, Leon, Riku, Sora, and Roxas all asked in shock. Ah…so ignorant, my friends, so ignorant.

"There are many reasons, why don't we talk about it over _ice cream_." I said trying to make it sound exciting. Why anyone would choose to sit in a hospital over ice cream was beyond me.

"Fine, let's go." Cloud responded and we followed him out of the waiting room.

oOo

I couldn't imagine why Axel would want to protect Xemnas so I was incredibly curious as to why he wasn't going to report the rape. However Dad beat me to the questioning after we all sat down with our ice cream at a large round table.

"So why aren't you reporting it?" Dad asked in a disapproving tone.

Axel swallowed and extremely large spoonful of his strawberry ice cream, how the hell he didn't freeze his head off, I'll never know, before answering. "Firstly, the cops in this town suck, secondly Xemy has a cop friend who'll conveniently loose the papers, we live in a seriously fucked up town. Thirdly I've reported him before, and thanks to the previous reasons, nothing good came out of it. And being practical, the only evidence I have is my bruising, I'm a man, I'm an ex junkie and my record show that, and it's my word against his, I lose." He explained and shoved another unbelievably large spoonful of ice cream into his mouth.

"You could be an inconvenience to him, though." I suggested.

"Yes, I could do that. I could be a fly on his watermelon, but he'll just smash me into the juices and laugh as I drown in the sweet nectar I thought I wanted."

"That was colorful." Riku commented.

"Why, thank you Riku, the point Roxy, is that no matter what I do to him, he has more power." Axel finished as he started licking the last bits of ice cream out of his bowl. It was pretty damn cute if you ask me. When he successfully cleared his bowl, he stared hungrily at mine. I smiled and pushed my bowl of chocolate ice cream between us. Giving me a thankful grin, he shoved his spoon in.

"But who's smarter?" Leon asked.

"Well I am, in some ways. Neither of us went to high school, well Xemnas did put he dropped out. And Saix made me get my GED." Axel responded.

"So, maybe if you outsmart him, you can beat him." Riku continued Leon's thought.

"Yeah, I've thought of that and I've been thinking of a plan."

"Oh, what's the plan?" Dad asked.

"Think of a plan?" A wide grin filled Axel's face.

"It's going that well?" I joked.

"Well, Xemnas has friends in high places. Who do you think the mayor gets his drugs from? He hasn't corrupted the police chief, as far as I know, but he's got a few of the other cops supporting him. It's not easy to find a weakness in someone who has none."

"No one has no weaknesses." I said.

"We can ask Zexion. He's pretty good at reading people, being that he's a shrink and all." Axel suggested as he finished my ice cream.

"Yay! We're going to the music store!" Sora exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air and causing his shake to splash all over us, and a sheepish smile covered his face at the dirty looks he was getting from everyone. Well almost everyone, Axel was smiling as he started scraping the ice cream out of his hair. Then his eyes met mine and his smile turned wicked. It was sexy but I'd be lying if I said it didn't make me a little nervous. Then out of nowhere my sight was blocked by a mess of red hair and felt my face get warm as Axel poked his tongue at my ice cream covered cheek.

I had to close my eyes and suppress a moan when I felt his lips and tongue moving down my face. I reached my hand up to dig into Axel's somewhat sticky hair, and then I heard my dad clear his throat. My eyes opened reluctantly and I attempted to push Axel away when I realized where we were, and who we were with. But he didn't budge he just smirked against my neck and continued his delicious actions. "Axel," I tried to make my voice strong but it sounded more like a desperate moan, "Axel, we're in an ice cream shop, there's kids around." Axel's lips kept antagonizing my neck, slowly lapping up all of Sora's ice cream.

"Axel, he said to stop." Dad said. Axel pulled away from me with one final lick, and I dropped my hand from his hair at my father's words.

"He didn't actually tell me to stop Cloud. He just informed me of our location. He must have thought I got lost in those lovely sounds he was making." Axel smirked as Dad scowled at him.

"He's got a point Cloud." Leon commented with amusement.

"Aww…Don't worry Cloud, I was just helping him clean up that sticky mess. Something you failed to do for your honey." Axel pointed at Leon, who was using napkins to wipe him and Cloud clean. "See, he's still all sticky." My dad shook his head and grabbed a few napkins.

I smiled when I saw that Sora had bought a bottle of water and was sitting in Riku's lap, gently dabbing the ice cream off of Riku with a wet napkin. Both had loving smiles on their faces as they stared into each other's eyes. It was sweet. I was really happy for him; happy that my brother was happy and that he had Riku. Then I turned to my dad, who was attempting to get the ice cream out of Leon's hair. They were also, staring lovingly into each other's eyes. It could make anyone envious, seeing two people who cared so deeply for one another. Who wouldn't want that?

Then my gaze turned to Axel. He was looking at me somewhat confused, but his eyes, they were filled with love and devotion; love and devotion to me. I smiled at him before I crawled into his lap and hugged him, juts to feel his love. When his arms wrapped around me I felt so content so loved that I couldn't imagine experiencing anything better. We embraced each other just to be close, to show our love with no ulterior motive, other than 'I love you, so let me hold you, because I want you near me'. Looking into Axel's adoring eyes I saw I had the same thing Sora and Dad had. We looked at each other the same way. I had nothing to be envious of because I had Axel, I had everything I wanted with him.

"Okay, let's go see if Demyx ever opened the music store." Dad announced as he and Leon stood. Sora jumped off Riku at the prospect of going to the music store, grabbed his boy friend's arm, and dragged him out of the ice cream shop.

"Your brother's so funny" Axel said chuckling. "Come on lets go." He finished by licking my cheek once more and helping me off of him. It was amazing to think that only a few months ago, it felt like my life was ending. Then that crazy red head forced himself into the living hell that was my life. He had no thoughts of what's in it for me, or this is too difficult, he just jumped into my life and pulled me out of the ocean I was drowning in. Now I'm the happiest I've ever been in my entire life.

oOo

"Do you know how much business I probably lost?!" Demyx exclaimed as he paced in front of the counter I was currently reading a book at.

Emerging from behind my book so I could meet the eyes of that lovely pacing man I stated, "I am aware of the percentage of business you lost, but Dem, you need to relax. It was only a few hours…"

"Only a few hours! Zexy, my emolicious lover, baby, it was not _only a few hours_. It was like five hours. I have a big crowd that come in on their lunch break. I missed that"

After getting over the 'emolicious' comment, which I scowled at him for, I processed the rest of what he said. "Dem, I know, but it was one day. It's not like you won't make it up. We both know you'll earn back that money. You and I are unbeatable business partners." Ah, finally, he was calming down and walking around the counter. As he reached me he smiled and climbed onto my lap.

"We're unbeatable partners, period." He said before placing a feathery light kiss on my lips. I put my book down and wrapped my arms around him. "I don't know what I'd do without you Zexy." He began to lean toward my face again, when the bell rang and he shot up shouting "Customers!...Oh, it's just you guys."

"Hey!" Sora exclaimed, in an offended tone.

"Do we really mean so little to you?" Axel joked as he and Roxas walked towards me. "Can we talk with you Zexion."

"Sure." I got up and led them to a table in the back room.

"You and Demyx haven't had sex on this table, have you?" Roxas asked as he hesitantly took a seat.

"Not…today." I smirked and Roxas jumped out of the chair like it was on fire.

"Sit down Roxas, they've probably had sex on every surface here. But Zexion, being the neat freak he is, his best friend is Lysol." Axel commented as he sat down pulling Roxas with him.

"Shut up Axel. Now what did you want to talk about." I asked as I sat down across from the happy couple.

"We were wondering if you think Xemnas has a weakness." Roxas asked.

Hmm…that was a difficult question. Xemnas love's no one, and no one loves him. That meant there was no person that could be a weakness to him. Not like Axel, Roxas was Axel's weakness. But at the same time, being surrounded by friends strengthens you. Axel has several friends, while all of Xemnas' friends are fake, with the right leverage, Xemnas could easily become friendless. Xemnas not only sells drugs, he uses them. Axel is sober. Though Xemnas is intelligent, Axel is most definitely smarter. And despite his thin frame, Axel is very strong. Xemnas has few weaknesses, that much is true, but Axel doesn't have many weaknesses either.

"I would say Xemnas' biggest weakness is his inability to love. It means he has no friends to support him. Another weakness would be his drug use." I responded to Roxas' question.

"He doesn't do drugs all the time though. He has to stay somewhat sober to do business." Axel interrupted.

"There's another weakness. You know Xemnas' schedule and habits. You know him Axel, but he doesn't know you. You remain a mystery to him because he never bothered to get to know you."

"That's a good point." Axel commented and it looked like he was deep in thought.

"I know, I made it." Roxas laughed at my words but Axel was still somewhere else. He has a tendency to seem simpleminded but contrary to that belief, he was quite the opposite. Had he been given the proper schooling he could even be in my shoes. Axel was most definitely a problem solver, and I found it rather interesting to watch him go through problems in his head. The problem was getting him to speak his thoughts out loud. "Axel!" I snapped my fingers, getting his attention. "What're you thinking?"

"Oh…um, this and that." He said in a distracted voice and Roxas gave him a look that said 'what the hell kind of an answer is that'.

"Elaborate please." I said.

"It's just…you're right. I know everything he does. I know that he gets up at two in the afternoon. I know where he does his business. I know what drugs he takes and when. I know how he'll react in most situations. I know him. That gives me a strong advantage. So I was just trying to come up with a plan. I can't allow Roxas and me to live in fear forever. The cops aren't helping us and I need to do something."

"I'd advise you against doing anything illegal, Axel." I warned him.

"Yeah, me too. I don't want you to go to jail." Roxas continued.

"And I don't want you to live in fear." Axel said with determination. "But I'll do my best to keep it legal. It's one thing for him to mess with me, I asked for it, but he can't touch you."

"The day I bought drugs from him, I was asking for it too, Axel."

"But you have the money to pay him. He doesn't have to…" He couldn't finish the statement.

"Okay we're all in agreement that we're going to try to keep this as legal as possible, right?" I confirmed.

"Yeah." Axel and Roxas agreed. We were silent for while before Roxas' stomach growled. I arched a brow at him.

"Hungry?" I inquired.

"Axel ate my ice cream."

"Axel!"

"He was a sharing. Zexy, why don't you take Roxy to go get us some dinner and I'll help Demyx out here, sound good."

"Yes." I said as Roxas nodded. "What should we get?"

"Roxy's choice."

"I think I want Chinese." Roxas decided.

"Hmm…that's not a long walk. Do you want to walk?" Roxas nodded in answer.

"Are you sure?" Axel asked.

"Don't worry Axel, it's not that far and Zexion will be with me." Axel nodded reluctantly. It seemed as though he no longer liked the idea he'd suggested.

"Zexion." He said seriously to me, "You watch him. Don't let anything happen to him. Got it memorized?"

"Yes Axel, you know I'd never let him get hurt. Come on Roxas." Roxas stood up and Axel pulled him into a loving embrace, kissing him like he'd never see him again.

"Would you stay? If I asked you not to go, would you stay?" Axel asked. I could read him like an open book. He was scared.

"Yes." Axel nodded at Roxas' response and let him go.

"Okay, get me something spicy." Roxas smiled at Axel and joined me at the door.

When we walked out of the back room, Roxas quickly joined his brother and father by the CDs and I joined Demyx at the counter. "Hey, Roxas and I are going to get Chinese. Axel's going to stay here and help you with the store, okay." I explained before giving him a chaste kiss, "See you soon, love you."

"I love you too, Zexy. And don't take too long, you know I can't live without you by my side." He smiled that beautiful smile at me and I walked away with an odd feeling. I couldn't shake the foreboding feeling that had decided to reside in my body as Roxas and I walked down the street, a path I had deemed safe. However Roxas' voice soon pulled me from my worried thoughts, while my eyes scanned the busy streets around us.

"So my dad, Leon, Sora, and Riku are all going home and we won't need to get them anything. I'm thinking I'm not gonna share with Axel this time. He's skinny but he eats like…" I whipped around to face Roxas when his words were cut off with a squeak. My stomach immediately dropped. Xemnas was holding Roxas around the neck with one arm and had a gun in the other. Roxas was using both of his hands to try to loosen the grip around his neck and both he and Xemnas were surrounded by the men who worked for him. He never travelled alone, that chicken shit.

"Hmm…I don't know you." Xemnas drawled, "But if you just walk away, I'll let you live. How's that?" He asked me. The terror in Roxas' eyes was tearing me apart. Live for Demyx, or save Roxas for Axel. I never had problems making decisions before. But this…how do you choose between that? I couldn't even think out another solution. I always had the answer, and I was rarely wrong. But no matter what I chose to do now, someone would get hurt, and I would be wrong. I'm sorry Demyx. I'm so sorry.

I've never lived on the streets like Axel. I haven't spent my life training myself to fight just to keep myself alive like Axel. I had a family to protect me, and a roof over my head. But I'll be damned if I don't try to fight for Roxas. I should've listened to Axel. We should've stayed behind. This was my fault and I promised not to let Roxas get hurt. And I was going to do my damnedest to do just that.

With all the power I could muster up in my anything but athletic body I leapt forward to try to save Roxas. I'm sorry Demyx.

oOo

"They're taking too long Dem. I wanna close up and go look for them." Axel said to me in a worried tone I'd rarely heard from him.

"Okay. Get the front door; I'll close up the back." I couldn't agree more with him. There was something screaming in me. Telling me something was terribly wrong. Damn my business, something felt wrong, and Zexion isn't by my side. He should've been back already.

Axel followed me as I ran down the streets I knew Zexion would've taken. My eyes were scanning every movement, every person I bumped into, ever dark shadow. They were creating images I never wanted to see. Then my mind began to reassure me. You wait and see Demyx, Zexion, your world, your life, your everything; he'll be in the restaurant. You wait and see. He's not going to leave you; he knows you can't live without him. He'll be there.

Then I turned around the corner and my heart stopped. A crowd was gathering. They were gathering around…I heard Axel gasp beside me before I ran, I ran as fast as my legs would take me to him. "No, God, please don't take him away from me." I screamed as I fell to the ground, tears streaming down my face mixing with the rain that had begun to fall. I pulled Zexion's body into my arms. "No, no, no, please God, no." I hadn't gone to church a day in my life. Honestly, I had a hard time believing such things, but if there was a higher power out there, I was begging, pleading with him to hear me. "Don't take him, please."

I kissed Zexion's unresponsive lips, feeling his labored breathes turn into nothing, "I'm…sorry…Dem." He whispered.

"No, no, you didn't anything Zexy," I wiped the hair out of his face and placed another kiss to his lips. "You'll be okay. You have to be. I need you Zexy, I love you." I held him, begging and pleading for him to be okay. I moved my hand over his body, searching for the wound, but I only felt his breathing stop. "Zexion, Zexion! Axel, he's not breathing." My body was shaking everywhere, my heart was being ripped to pieces. "Zexion!" I let out an anguished scream of my lover's name.

**AN: …I'm sorry…Please don't stop reading. No matter how pissed you are right now, read Chapter 20 before you stop reading the story. I know what's happening right now seems awful, but it works for the story, and it will bring up some important issues. PLEASE DON'T STOP READING because you're a bit pissed at the moment. **

**I promise, I have already started Chapter 20, nothing I've already written for it will be changing, it's perfect as it is. And I will try to update it ASAP. It's my priority chapter right now cuz I don't want to leave this story here.**

**If you want to hear the song that brought me out of my writer's block and very, very, loosely inspired the last section of the chapter it is called "Painters" by Jewel. The specific line that inspired me was "No God, don't take him from me".**

**Thanks for all reviews, favorites, and alerts. I really do appreciate them, and please, please, read 20 before you give up on the story.**


	20. Chapter 20

AN: Do to my inability to write a story that doesn't have its facts checked, there's a glossary in the end AN, so you know what the hell I'm talking about. I did my best to make it readable without the glossary, so hopefully it will be unnecessary.

I brought the song "When You Were Young" by the Killers, back into the story in this chapter. The lyrics are still on the 1st chapter. I don't own the song it was just the inspiration for this story. You will find the reference to the song in Axel's POV toward the middle of the last section.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I'm not a doctor, and I don't even own a Smith & Wessen, that's way too expensive.

_EvilScotsman: Ha, I'm putting you in the AN again ^_^ Thanks for letting me rant to you over and over again about how much I hated doing the research for this chapter. It was exhausting, and you were always there to listen to me whine. I appreciate it. Thank you so much. ^_^_

**Chapter 20 – He Doesn't Look a Thing Like Jesus**

Oh…the shit dun hit the fan now.

I shoved Demyx away from Zexion to grab his attention, "Dem, focus" I pointed to my temple. "He's still breathing, it's just…weak." I knelt down next to Demyx as I heard the sound of an ambulance in the distance. Placing my shaking hand on my friend's wrist, I checked for a pulse, it was faint but still there. When I finished Demyx pulled Zexion back into his arm, and that's when I saw the blood. The rain was trying to hide it, but I could see.

It looked like someone had tried to shoot Zexion in the heart, but they missed. His skin was starting to match his hair; his troubled breathing, the weak pulse, and the place the bullet hit was making me think he had a pneumothorax. "Dem, I think he's got a punctured lung."

"Oh, God!" Demyx cried.

"No, no, Dem, that's kind of good. It could've been worse. I think most people with a punctured lung live." Although, the fact that he was unconscious led me to believe that his breathing trouble had led to hypoxia, and we really needed to get him help before he went into a coma from lack of oxygen. It was incredibly difficult to focus on Zexion when I had no idea where Roxas was, but one hand kept finding Zexion's wrist to check his pulse while the other covered his bleeding wound. I knew I couldn't do anything for Roxas right now, but I could try to save my friends' lives. If Zexion dies, Demyx dies. Even if he's still physically here, Demyx will never be the same.

The crowd around us began to make a path as two paramedics came in with a stretcher. Demyx and I moved away so they could strap Zexion up and start pumping air into him. Then I watched as they rolled Zexion to the ambulance, lifted him into it, and Demyx entered behind them to distracted to say anything to me. I stood shocked and slightly shaking as I watched them close the doors and drive away.

When I could no longer see the ambulance I turned away from the road and began to search for any sign of Roxas. I looked everywhere, but there was nothing. Nothing that even remotely said he was here, or gave a hint as to where he went. Fuck legal. Xemnas is dead when I find him. He attacked my friend and he stole my boyfriend, he is fucked. I stormed away from the crime scene and went to the music shop to get my Lambo.

I was fuming as I drove to my apartment. My knuckles were white on the steering wheel, my foot was pressing the gas pedal to the floor, and I was biting the inside of my mouth so hard I could taste blood. Godsmack was blasting from my speakers drowning out all the blaring beeps I was getting from the other cars. But soon enough I was home. Scratch that, it was just an apartment without Roxas. I couldn't call it home.

I threw open the door and rushed to my bedroom, falling to the floor next to my bed. My hand began to rummage through the shit under my bed until it landed on a box, "Yes." I dragged it out and opened it up to reveal my Smith & Wessen 1911. I pulled out the shiny eight inch weapon. The muzzle was glistening silver, while the wooden stock was fire engine red, and the butt underneath it was black. I loved this gun, but I definitely didn't care for it as well as I should. I wasn't gonna take the risk of a misfire with Roxy on the line. So I pocketed the gun and stuck my arm back under the bed. Two is better than one any way. My hand quickly found the next box, containing my revolver, and pulled it out.

This eleven inch, stainless steel gun would definitely be reliable. Revolvers don't need to be cleaned as much as pistols, which was a good thing because I can't remember the last time I pulled these out. As I picked the silver gun up I traced my finger along the Smith & Wesson logo on the muzzle. Standing up I kicked the boxes under the bed and concealed both guns in the long trench coat I had been wearing today. The ten shot revolver was probably my best chic but I was bringing the pistol, and my twelve inch ka-bar knife, just in case.

When I felt I had everything I needed to convince Xemnas that Roxas was mine, I locked up and went back to my car, to meet Demyx at the hospital. Before I stepped in I put my armed coat in the passenger's seat, so no one would think I was attacking the hospital, and then I took off.

oOo

"What do you mean I can't see him!? I'm his boyfriend, get the fuck out of my way!" I yelled at the doctors, and yes I swore. I don't give a flyin' fuck at the moment. I've been here for almost four hours and I want to see Zexy but they keep telling me I can't. I can feel the tears coming again. How can they keep me from him? They won't even tell me what's wrong or if he's okay or dead. Several doctors, nurses, and patients were watching me as I screamed at them to let me see Zexion. Now two security guards were advancing upon me, and they grabbed my arms as I tried to doge their massive bodies. "No, no, Zexy? Why can't I be with my boyfriend? He might be d-dying!"

"Only family." A doctor stated as if my pain meant nothing. I started to kick and thrash around in the security guards' arms when they suddenly stopped moving.

"What's going on?" I heard a familiar voice.

"Axel! Axel they won't let me see Zexion. They say I'm not family and only family can see him. But Zexy's family is all dead. I'm all he has and they won't even tell me if he's alive." I cried to my best friend. I didn't know what else to do. I was fighting a losing battle. When I had looked up at hearing Axel's voice he had looked like he was ready to kill someone, but now…now he looked like he was ready to bring the wrath of all gods down upon the earth and say 'fuck it, everyone can burn'. I shuddered at the thought; he was scary when he was pissed off. Those brilliant green eyes of his were a million shades darker than normal, and there was a fire burning in them. Shit was gonna go down.

"Listen you fucking pieces of shit!" Axel says in an eerily calm voice. I looked around the room nervously. Only one nurse seemed to be worried, and she was inching closer to me, everyone else seemed to think this was a joke. "They've been together for eight fucking years. You are not keeping them apart!" Axel said getting louder with each word, and then he lunged at the two guards around me, sending them both to the floor. I backed away as he went into attack mode and several people began to surround him. They were in for a rude awakening if they thought they could keep him down in the mood he was in.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and whipped around, ready to attack whoever it was, but I stopped when I saw that it was the worried nurse who had been inching toward me. She placed a single finger over her lips and motioned for me to follow her through a set of double doors. I didn't hesitate. Zexion was somewhere behind those doors. She took me down several hallways and led me into a room where a doctor was looking over…Zexy. I tried to leap forward but the nurse stopped me. "Doctor." She said grabbing the man's attention. "I finally found his family. This is his brother. He has no other living relatives."

"Very well." He said looking over Zexion's charts. "Leave us." I gave the nurse a grateful look as she left the room. "You're his brother?" I nodded, and the doctor turned to Zexion, who I now saw was awake, kind of. He looked like he was ready to pass out at any moment. I smiled. "Is this your brother?" Zexy nodded. "I'm doctor Vexen." He held his hand out to me and I briefly shook it before walking to Zexion and grabbing his chilled hand. Tears were forming in the corners of my eyes again. I was so relieved to see him awake and responsive. He smiled up at me and I quickly returned it, trying to keep my tears from falling. "I was able to remove the bullet, but it had already caused a traumatic pneumothorax."

"Um, no offense sir, but I own a music shop." I thought I saw a brief smile cross the blond doctor's face before he explained.

"It caused his lung to collapse. See there is a collection of air in between his lung and inner chest wall. The bullet also caused a hemothorax, which means there is also blood between the chest wall and lung. Now we've given him a thoracostomy tube, uh, a chest tube," Dr. Vexen corrected himself at my blank look and indicated a tube that was sticking out of Zexion to the right and a little under his nipple, "To drain the blood and air. We'll have to leave it in for a few days. The lack of oxygen caused a hypoxia…"

"Hypoxia?"

"Lack of oxygen in the blood which caused him to fall into unconsciousness. " But as you can see he's…um, well sometimes he's awake. He's on quite a few pain killers, so he'll be out of it for a while. His blood oxygen level has been raised. The surgery took about four hours, but went well. And I think he should regain full consciousness in about two or three hours. Any questions?"

"Is he going to be okay?"

"As long as the chest tube doesn't get infected he should be fine. Is that all?" I nodded as I sat down in a seat next to Zexion's bed. He'd fallen asleep and looked quite peaceful. It was as though he'd never been shot, and I was just watching him sleep as I so often do. "I'll come to check on him again and several nurses will continue to come through here and make sure he's doing well and has all of his medications. Okay?" I nodded once again and he left me alone with my lover…er, brother. I have to be careful about that. While I was thinking about where Axel may be I heard a murmur to my right, and quickly brought myself closer to Zexion. "What'd you say baby, you're all slurry from the drugs."

"Mmm…he saved me." Zexy slurred with his eyes still mostly closed.

"Who, Vexen?" My lover's head slowly shook in response.

"No, Roxas. Hmm, he bit Xemnas…Xemnas missed my heart…mmm, took him away." Zexion muttered before falling back asleep I owed Roxas my life. He risked his own life to save Zexion. I hope Axel finds him.

oOo

I stormed away from the hospital, after they threw me out, threatening to call the police. At least that nurse grabbed Demyx while I caused a distraction; I hope he got to see Zexion. He didn't deserve to be treated like that and I was not in a good mood. Well, I've done everything I can for Demyx and Zexion, now it's time to find Roxas. I threw myself into my car and took off like a bat out of hell.

Surprisingly, no cops saw me in my mad rush to get to the outskirts of town. And once I got there I began searching for the gap in the trees that would lead me to Xemnas' home. It wasn't difficult to find. For anyone else sure, but I knew the gap well. When I was young I'd come here often. Xemnas was somewhat of a hero to me. I loved him. In my drugged out haze I loved that bastard. Even when he raped me, I loved him, because he was my savior. He took the pain away from me.

When I was with Xemnas I never had to think about the fact that my mother was dead. The woman who had taken care of me for all of my twelve years was dead. There were few certainties in my life: Would I eat tonight, I never knew, where would I sleep, how could I know, would I live to see another day, I hoped not. Then Xemnas came into my life and I knew for certain that he would be in that same spot two times a week.

Meeting Xemnas had made me feel like I had something to hold onto, someone who would always be there, someone who could take the pain away. I clung to Xemnas like my life depended on it. Whenever he wanted something I gave it to him. When I didn't want to give it, he took it, but I still loved him. I had failed to mention to Roxas that the first time Xemnas asked for sex I denied him. I was fourteen, I'd given him handjobs and blowjobs, but I didn't feel ready for what he was asking for, so I said 'no', and he took it anyway. But I still loved him, he'd hurt me, but it felt good to make him feel good. And eventually it didn't hurt anymore.

He always told me I was his favorite. He said no one could pleasure him like I could. And I believe that, there is no doubt in my mind that I was the best he had, because it meant more than drugs to me. I loved him and I wanted to pleasure him for that fact alone, not just the drugs that I would receive when I finished. Like Zexion said, I had learned everything I could about Xemnas, in that stalker sort of way, because I thought I loved him when I was young. I just thought he was a beautiful man come to save me. In reality, he was quite the opposite.

I shifted the Lambo into park as I pulled into the driveway of the dreary mansion. I used to think it was beautiful, but those shining white bricks would never again be able to light the darkness for me. This would forever be a place of bad memories for me now. I quickly pulled my armed coat on as I stepped out of the car, placing my left hand on top of my pistol. Even if Roxas wasn't here, I might be able to find out where Xemnas is keeping him.

Ignoring all the politeness society teaches us to display as a common courtesy, I stomped up the front step and kicked the door in without so much as a tap of warning. I looked around the room at all of Xemnas' stunned men, apparently they aren't used to seeing a redhead on edge busting through their door. The first one to make a move, a mere four feet away from me, was the man I was looking for. "Where you going, Jackson?" I ran forward and slammed Xemnas' second-in-command into the wall with my right hand and pulled the gun out with my left pointing it at the other men in the room to keep them away. "Where the fuck is Roxas?!" I yelled into Jackson's ear as I held him to the wall by his neck.

He smiled knowingly at me before answering, "You think Xemnas would bring Roxas to a place you know about?"

Putting my gun had down for a moment I pulled Jackson away from the wall, and then slammed him back into it. "Tell me where he is!" I raised the pistol again.

"You won't shoot us…" Someon began to say behind me. BAM. I was not in the mood for this shit. After pulling the trigger I heard someone scream and fall to the floor, and I gripped the gun tighter.

"Next one will be a killing blow. Now tell me where Roxas is!" I demanded and Jackson just laughed.

"Your outnumbered Axel. And Xemnas isn't on your side this time." I was about to hit Jackson when I hear someone move behind me. Twisting around, while still holding Jackson, I saw that the men were just helping their fallen comrade stop his leg from bleeding.

"Sorry Jackson, this guy's insane and Xemnas isn't worth our lives. We're leaving." One of the men said as he helped the man I shot to his feet. Deciding to let them leave , I turned back to Jackson and punched him.

"I'm not stupid! If I knew where Roxas was I'd be there, not here asking you." I snarled pointing the pistol in his face. "Now I know you know where Xemnas is keeping Roxas. Tell me!"

"Why would I tell you?"

"Because I'm feeling murderous, and quite frankly, I couldn't give a rats ass if I go to jail as long as Roxas is safe."

"You, Axel, go to jail. Please." He laughed. I smirked back at him before switching my arms. Now my left arm, with the gun, was holding him to the wall by his neck and my right arm was pulling out the knife. I held it in front of his face still smirking as his eyes narrowed.

"Tell me Jackson," I ran the knife lightly across his face, not even scratching it, "How're you going to feel when you're replaced again."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I remember you were pissed when Xemnas replaced you with me. And now he's doing it again, with Roxas."

"He wouldn't do that again. I'm his favorite." Jackson said in a complete denial.

"Yeah, well you're getting up in the age department and he likes 'em young." I brought the knife down between us and cut the button off his pants, "And I don't think he'll like you too much after you're castrated." Bingo! Castration's the magic word. I smiled when his eyes grew with worry and he tried to fight me off. Unfortunately for him, he was a very small man and I was much stronger. No doubt, Xemnas picked Jackson for his small stature. He preferred his fuck buddies to be juvenile and Jackson's size probably helped him fantasize.

"Wait, wait! I'll tell you where he is. Please don't castrate me." Jackson cried.

After tying him to one of the columns in the mansion so I would be able to find him if he was lying to me, I walked out of the mansion. Then I stepped into the Lambo and sped off in the direction I was told to go. I could only hope that Xemnas hadn't done anything to Roxas yet.

**AN: ****I realize that not all hospitals will handle a situation like this in the same way. But give me a break, I did about ten hours of research for this chapter and I couldn't find much about this in my research. I tried I really did try to make the chapter realistic. If there are any imperfections I am sorry. If you'd like to correct me, do so nicely, and I'll try to fix it in the second edit/rewrite. **

**I don't know if it's noticeable, I've been told it is, but I do research for my stories in order to keep them realistic. I used a few big medical words in this chapter and I tried to write them with the definition inside the story but if you missed the subtle definitions here they are:**

Pneumothorax-is the collection of air or gas in the space around the lungs.

Traumatic Pneumothorax-is a collection of air inside the chest, between the lung and inner chest wall, which causes the lung to collapse.

Hemothorax-a collection of blood in the space between the chest wall and the lung (the pleural cavity).

Hypoxia-a lack of oxygen in the blood

**I also had to do some research on guns, in order to choose what type Axel would use, and some for some other reasons. But in order to describe the gun I needed to know some terminology, so if you're like me this may be of use:**

Pistol: Synonym for a handgun that does not have a revolving cylinder.

Revolver: Handgun that has a cylinder with holes to contain the cartridges. The cylinder revolves to bring the cartridge into position to be fired. This is "single-action" when the hammer must be cocked before the trigger can fire the weapon. It is "double-action" when pulling the trigger both cocks and fires the gun.

Butt or buttstock: The portion of the gun which is held or shouldered

Stock: A wood, metal, or plastic frame that holds the barrel and action and allows the gun to be held firmly.

Muzzle: The end of the barrel out of which the bullet comes

**If you want to see the actual pistol, type Model SW1911 Compact ES into google. I think I described it well enough that you'll be able to find it out of the choices google gives you.**

**If you want to see the revolver, type Model 617 Revolver - 6", 10-Shot. And if you need to see the knife, type ka-bar knife, and be creative.**

**Thanks for all reviews, favs, and alerts. **

For any "The Other Side isn't so Green" fans, there are two links to fanvideos that were made for that story, on my profile.


	21. Chapter 21

AN: Ohmyholymoogles! An update! Yeah, it's a short chapter, and ends with a cliffhanger, sorry. I think I may be ending this story soon. I'm thinking no more than four more chapters, probably less. This feels like the climax of the story to me, so it only seems natural to end it. There might be a sequel, I have an idea for one, but I haven't decided if I want to write it.

**Very small recap**: Roxas and Zexion went to get Chinese for dinner. On the way to the restaurant Xemnas grabbed Roxas and Zexion got shot in the process of rescuing him. Demyx and Zexion are in the hospital. Axel is not happy; he's about ready to kill everyone on the planet. Armed with two guns and a knife, he entered one of Xemnas' mansions and found Jackson, Xemnas second in command. With mention of castration Axel convinced Jackson to give him Roxas' location and now he is on his way to rescue his blond…

**Chapter 21 – He Doesn't Look A Thing Like Jesus**

I fought madly against the restraints that were tying me naked, to a chair in the middle of a cold empty room. My legs were trembling both from fear and from the chill on the metal chair, chained to the floor, I was tied to. It sent shivers shooting through my whole body, while the acidic taste of fear filled my mouth. The only light it the room came from under the door shut tightly ten feet in front of me and my eyes were glued to it. Nothing good ever happened when that door opened.

I let an irritated breath leave my lips as I pulled harder against the ropes shackling my wrists to the chair. With every move I made, the fibers of the rope burned and buried themselves deeper into my skin. My teeth were sinking deeper into my abused lower lip, filling my mouth with blood, as I continued to deeply concentrate on how to get out of this situation. Maybe if I just let him rape me he'll go away and I can go find out if Zexion was okay.

I had tried to save him. When h e jumped forward to save me, I saw Xemnas was ready to shoot and I bit down on his arm as hard as I could. But despite my attempt to save him, Zexion still ended up on the ground and in this eerie blackness, I had no way of finding out what happened to him. Was he alive, or did he die? Did the witnesses call an ambulance or did they just keep walking so their beloved drug dealer didn't get in trouble? What if Demyx and Axel are still waiting for us to show up with dinner? What's going to happen to Demyx if Zexion dies? What will happen to Axel if Xemnas kills me? What will happen to me? I had to get out of here. I'm not done yet. I still have things to experience, with Axel by my side. I still need to get to know my father and his boyfriend. I want to see what happens between Sora and Riku. I still have so much left to do, I am not done.

When I realized my heart was threatening to jump out of my chest I began to calm myself. A panic attack could not help me right now. I started to picture Axel holding me close at night, laying on his chest while we watch TV, our bastard kitchen battles, all the amazing talks about nothing and about everything. As I thought of all these happy memories my chest began to slow down, leaving my head free to think up a plan. Then the dreaded door opened and a blinding light filled the cement room.

"Roxas," Xemnas remarked as he stepped closer, "You and me are going to have some fun." My pulse started racing and fear filled me once again as he smirked. He was wearing a floor length coat that reminded me of a zebra and he had a needle in his hand.

"I said I have the money to pay you." I pleaded. Yeah, I know there's not much pride in begging, but he has a needle in his hand. I'm willing to try anything to keep him from sticking things in me. I really didn't want to be hooked on drugs again, and Axel is the only person I might, someday, ever want in me. In this case, begging was perfectly fine with me.

"And I said I didn't want your money. Are you familiar with wanting something you can't have? You see Axel seems to think I can't have you, but he is wrong. I always _take_ what I can't have, just to prove that I can have everything, nothing is out of reach for me. They said I couldn't have Axel. They said he was too young, but I had him sucking my cock every day. He begged me Roxas, he begged, 'Xemnas, please let me, I'll be everything you need.' And he was everything I needed, to a certain point, but eventually I wanted more. I was nice and asked him, but Axel said 'no'. My Axel, the one who begged to share my bed with me wouldn't go all the way with me. That didn't please me, so I threw him on the floor and I just _took it._" He made a gesture like he was catching a fly as a smirk filled his face at the memory of taking my boyfriend's virginity. "Because I always get what I want."

"What does that mean?" I asked, fearing that my assumption was correct.

"It means, I was your boyfriends first, and I'll be yours as well. Don't worry Roxas, Axel loved it, and you will too."

My arms began to work with even more effort, trying desperately to release my wrists. I could feel the blood trickling down my hand, and the brutal sting of the rope digging into me, but I didn't' care. I had to get out. Axel was the only man I could imagine touching me in that way, and Mr. Ithinkzebraisalovelyfashionstatement was the last person I wanted near me.

"Roxas, you can't escape." Xemnas chided as he stopped closer to me. I wanted to spit in his face at the disturbing tone he was using with me. It was like he was telling a toddler that Peter Pan is not real and happy thoughts don't make you fly. Actually, he's probably enough of a bastard that he'd just say 'yeah go ahead and do it Johnny, fly. Let's see what happens.' Yep, that's what he'd do. "Roxas," Xemnas said a mere inches from my face and grasped my jaw in his cold and incredibly strong hand, "Hmm…I like the way that slides off my tongue, Roxassssss. Mmm, yes indeed, that is nice." Then the most disgusting thing imaginable happened. His repulsive, filthy lips were pressed against mine and his tongue was forcing its way into my mouth.

Oh no you don't, you bastard! That's an Axel and food only area. With as much force as I could muster up, I bit down on that wretched intruding tongue, and immediately felt blood gush into my mouth filling it with a metallic taste. "Ahhh…fuck!" Xemnas pulled back screaming and I smirked. With a furious glint in his eyes, Xemnas backhanded me, but I didn't mind. Backhanding was certainly better than his tongue invading Axel's personal space. Xemnas stormed out of the room slamming the door behind him, and I spit out the lingering blood in my mouth.

oOo

After a tiny pit stop to a miniscule convenience store in the middle of nowhere I continued on my journey to find Roxas. I swear if Jackson lied to me he'll be castrated. My foot was pressed to the floor of my Lambo, and there was no way I was turning back. Roxas was my only destination, my only thought, he was my life, and I needed to have him back in my arms.

Despite my anger issues, I'd never killed anyone before, and before Saíx I never could have imagined killing Xemnas. But today, I was sure of what had to be done. I could live with the guilt as long as Roxas was safe. The guns in my pockets were light as a feather, the gasoline, matches, and various other items lying next to me didn't pull on my conscience in the least. This was happening, and it was happening today, there was no question about it. You don't touch my Roxas and live…twice.

The anger burning inside my body fueled me the entire drive to the address Jackson had given me. I pulled into the hidden driveway, after passing it once because I failed to notice it, and parked next to Xemnas' assorted vehicles. The building was certainly as impressive as he demanded all of his possessions to be, but I didn't have time to pay much attention, I had one goal and one goal only. With great control, on my part, I silently walked up the steps of the mansion and silently opened the door. I wasn't too surprised to find that there were no guards in this hideout. Jackson was probably the only person who knew about it and therefore Xemnas had no need for reinforcement.

I had two options, move forward down the dark foreboding hallway, or go up the inviting spiral staircase. Somehow I doubt Roxas will be anywhere inviting. My boots didn't even make the tiniest bit of a clack against the checkered tile floors as I moved forward, pass the stairs, and into the hallway. I made my way through the maze of hallways and opened every door I came across. Unfortunately, none of the doors I opened led me to Roxas and my anger was growing tenfold. How many fucking rooms does one mansion need?

After about fifteen minute of frustrated searching and random vandalism, I heard a familiar voice yell out, "He bit me! That fucking brat bit me! Axel never bit, not unless I asked it of him. This one's going to be difficult to break. He doesn't rely on me as much as Axel did."

"Umm Xemnas, Sir, do you think that wise?" A new voice joined Xemnas', and I peered around the corner. Good God, what the hell is he wearing? He's a drug dealer, not a pimp. What did I ever see in that man? I decided to remain hidden so that I might get a hint as to where they were hiding. Either mystery voice or Xemnas would spill the beans; I just knew it, which means I need to be patient. As long as they're standing here, Roxas isn't being hurt, hopefully. "I've never met Axel, but I've been told he's a little insane, and has quite the temper."

"Axel is no problem; he doesn't even know about this place."

"And do you trust your men not to tell him when he murderously charges into any of the thirteen hideouts he knows about?"

"I'm not scared of Axel, Seph."

"I think you're forgetting that I'm the one who took care of you after your last run in with that bastard. And does that mean you don't trust your men?"

"I do remember you taking care of me; don't ever mention that shit again! I can take care of myself! And no, I don't trust most of them, but I do trust Jackson, and he's the only one besides you that know about this place."

"Fine, I just don't want you to get hurt again." The man called Seph said in a soft voice. Hmm…does someone have a crush?

"Stop being a faggot Sephiroth."

"Says the man who's attempting to rape the teenage boy tied to a chair in the other room." Sephiroth pointed to a door not too far behind them. Bingo, I now have Roxy's location.

"You're just jealous that you're not my type." Xemnas gave a rare smile. One I noticed as his real smile. Well that…that is quite interesting.

"I'm not a fag. And I'm happy I'm not a tiny little teenager with no experience and pimples." Sephiroth raised his voice, which is a no-no with Xemnas. He was in trouble now. "And how coul you think I would ever want to be with a pedophile like you? I'm here for business, and that's all."

"You better be careful with your words, I've murdered for less."

"And I've said worse to you, without any sort of reprimand from you. I find that quite interesting Xem."

"Leave me Sephiroth. I am no longer in need of your company." Xemnas murmured in a cruel voice, "Leave!"

"I'm just speaking the truth." Sephiroth spoke sadly, "I'll see you later Xem." Then he walked away from Xemnas, down one of the many foreboding hallways. I found it quite interesting that Xemnas watched him even after he was long gone. He didn't even look at me with that sort of longing. I almost felt bad, almost, that he would never get to explore those possible feelings.

After snapping himself out of the trance like state he had fallen into as he watched Sephiroth stalk away, Xemnas turned around and I had to move quickly to keep him from seeing me. As soon as I heard a door shut I peered around the corner again. When I knew the coast was clear I moved forward and headed straight towards the door they had been pointing at earlier. And because my day hadn't been bad enough, the fucking door was locked. Goddamnfuckingbitchass life! I'm going to kill everyone on this goddamn planet 'til it's just me, my Roxy, and our friends and family. I placed my ear against the door so I could hear what was happening, while my incredibly pissed off head formulated a plan. This door will be sawdust when I'm through with it.

"Roxas," I heard Xemnas' voice, "Axel gave into me. A strong man like Axel allowed me to do whatever the fuck I wanted to him. What makes you think a weak little drug addict like yourself has a chance."

"I may be weak, in some areas, but as you said Axel is strong. The way I see it, Axel is half of me, therefore over fifty percent of me is strong. Plus, I have no doubt that he's found you already, and when he gets here he's going to be seriously pissed. You do remember, had it not been for me, he would have killed you the last time you threatened me?" Go Roxy I thought. Then I heard the unmistakable sound of a face being slapped.

Oh no he didn't! My hand fervently twisted the knob in every direction until I found out I had been turning it the wrong way the whole time. If I wasn't worried about being weakened I would've slapped myself. _Oh you're a fucking genius Axel._ I slowly pushed the door open until it revealed Roxas, tied naked to a chair in the middle of the room. Xemnas was kneeling between his open and trembling legs and caressing my Roxas' chest. I felt like a volcano about to explode.

"I'll make you scream Roxas, and you'll enjoy every minute of it." He spoke before bringing his head down on Roxas, very near the lower region of his body. Slowly, I reached into my pocket and grabbed my knife. I would have preferred one of the guns, but the risk of shooting Roxas was too great. I stepped into the room, bloody murder written all over my face, and knife raised. My movements stopped when Xemnas pulled back from Roxas, "See, I promise you'll love it." Roxas' scowl quickly turned into a smirk when his eyes caught sight of me. "After today, you won't be a virgin anymore." Xemnas continued before he licked a line down Roxas' bare stomach again.

"Xemnas, I'm not a virgin." The licking abruptly stopped when the words left Roxas' mouth and I continued to walk closer and closer.

"Nonsense, you have virgin written all over you. Added to that, Axel wouldn't know what to do with a virgin, Saíx, as far as I know, was much too forceful to have allowed Axel to be…dominant, if you will. So you are lying to me, Axel loves you too much to risk hurting you."

"I didn't say I lost my virginity to Axel." Roxas stated scowling at Xemnas again, "So Xemy, I'm sorry but this time you just won't be able to take what you want, because my virginity has already been taken."

I could only see the back of Xemnas' head, but I could imagine that his eyes were getting narrow, and his face was probably turning red with popping veins. "I will make you scream, no matter how much of a whore you've been in the past!"

"No you won't!" I spoke right behind him, with my knife raised.

**AN: Godsmack and Rammstein were used as my mood music for this chapter. I used Godsmack while Axel was in his car and Rammstein while he was in the mansion, and no, I don't speak German and understand basically nothing of Rammstein's lyrics, but the music worked for the scene. I find the suspense that often builds in their music really works well with Axel walking down the hallway in search of Roxas. **

**Sorry for leaving you on another cliffhanger, that's just how it worked out. I'm also sorry about not updating as much. I've actually been updating about once a week, but it's not for this story, it's for a story called "Details", and I've been updating that one because that's the story that I've been having ideas for.**

**I'll try to update this story as soon as I can, thanks for all reviews, favs, alerts, and for continuing to read even though it took longer than usual for me to update.**


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22 – He Doesn't Look A Thing Like Jesus**

"Axel." A cruel laugh accompanied the name from Xemnas' lips as he turned to face me with a sinister grin on his face. I was about to plunge the knife into his tiny cold heart when I noticed the needle pointed at Roxas' neck. "Now, now Axel, you'll want to be careful. I'm not sure if there's a pocket of air in here or not. You try to stab me, my hand just might slip. So put the knife down." His smug tone had me shaking with furry, but I calmed down enough to quickly process the new information in my head.

If I attempted, and even if I succeeded to stab him, he would drug and most likely kill my Roxas. Even as I'm thinking over my next plan of action I can see him pushing the needle closer to his neck as Roxas tried to back away as far as possible with a terrified "help me" expression on his face. And I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to save him without losing my perfect shot on Xemnas. So I dropped the knife.

"Good boy Axel." Xemnas said as he kicked the knife away and pulled the needle a few inches away from Roxas' neck. "You don't have any more toys on you, do you?"

"If I did, don't you think I would have used them on you?"

"Good point, but your head is a strange place to be. Maybe you have a plan."

"Why don't you come pat me down?"

"Tempting, but I think I'd prefer another idea." Xemnas paused for a moment before calling, "Seph! Seph, come here!"

"He left. Remember, you kicked him out?" Despite my reminder, Xemnas continued to wait for a man who had already left.

The three of us stayed silent for almost a full minute before the reluctant man finally gave up. "Fine! You come here, hands where I can see them!"

Immediately, new plans were flashing through my head, searching out the best options to free Roxas. What would work, what would fail, what held possibilities. Everything was processed in the seconds it took for me to place my hands on my head and take two small steps forward to reach Xemnas. A grin grew on his face as he stretched an arm out and ran it down my side seductively.

The grin only grew when his hand felt the gun in the pocket near my waist. However, he didn't see the smirk on my face. "Axel, it hurts that you would lie to me like this." I felt his hand wrap around the pistol and my plan was ready to unfold.

With one hand in my pocket, and the other threatening Roxas with a needle, Xemnas had no free hands. As he tried to pull the gun out of my pocket it got caught on my coat, just as as expected it would, and I used the opportunity to knock the needle out of his hand. But by the time I did that he had the gun out and pointing at me. "Axel." He scolded, gesturing me to step away from Roxas, who still looked completely frightened.

"Xemnas." I mimicked.

oOo

"Xemnas." Axel chided in a tone similar to Xemnas'. I was relieved that I no longer had a needle full of drugs and air pointed at my neck, but now there was a gun pointed at Axel. And where did Axel get a gun? Why did I not know about that? What did he plan on doing with it? Does any of that really matter right now?

"Move now, or shoot you." Xemnas warned Axel.

Axel immediately raised his hands to mock Xemnas. "Okay, okay, relax." The redhead said before putting his arms down and walking behind me. He then bent down and kissed my cheek while sliding something into my hand.

"Axel!" Xemnas raised the gun threateningly.

"Sorry," Once again his hands were up and I saw him move several feet to my right. "It was just one kiss. I thought I may never see him again."

"Let me explain something to you…" I drowned out Xemnas' voice when I realize what it was that Axel had put in my hand; A lighter. I looked to Axel wondering what I should do, but he was too focused on my captor. So, I began to light it and failed in my first couple attempts. Finally I got it lit and as soon as I maneuvered the flame to the rope around my wrist I let go biting my lip at the pain I hadn't been prepared for.

However Axel had a plan, I could see it in his eyes. And part of that plan was for me to get my hands untied. So I lit it again, and bit into my lip even harder to suppress any pained noises. I could feel the blood in my mouth and the flame burning into my flesh and the rope. As soon as I was able to break free from the rope Xemnas' and Axel's eyes were on me.

"What's that smell?" Xemnas sneered, taking a step closer.

"Your dirty mind?" Axel suggested, attempting to buy me time. As he probably assumed, Xemnas turned to face him. It looked as if he wanted to say something but thought against it and raised the gun, aiming directly at Axel. Then he pulled the trigger and… nothing happened. "Saftey Xem-Xem, it's a bitch." Axel pulled a revolver out of his other pocked and without hesitation shot Xemnas in his shooting arm. Xemnas cried out in pain and frustration as he dropped the gun, and quickly jumped behind me to use me as a shield.

"You have more than one gun?" Xemnas said from behind me.

"No, this is a flower. What the fuck do you think?" With no warning Xemans wrapped an arm tightly around my neck and I found myself unable to pull in air. I desperately moved my arms to pry him off but he was just too strong for me.

"Drop it Axel!"

oOo

"Drop it Axel!" Roxas was beginning to turn colors so I dropped the gun and kicked it a few feet away. Time for plan D8.

"Xemans, how about a trade?"

"What?"

"Roxas here is practically a virgin, while I….am not. Added to that, I already know exactly what you like. Why waste your time with Roxas, when you could have me again? Your favorite."

"You'd fight me."

"If you let Roxas go I won't. I'll do whatever you tell me to do."

"How can I trust that?"

"If I'm lying you can kill me and find Roxas again. You have eyes all over the streets it won't be that hard."

Xemnas' grip loosened somewhat while he debated what he was going to do. During that time I saw Roxas take a breath and took one with him. "Put your hands on you head, both of you!" Xemnas commanded and we complied. Then he moved to the side of Roxas while keeping an eye on me and started to untie his legs. Roxas' eyes immediately met mine, asking me what he should do and I simply shook my head in response. I wasn't going to let him get hurt anymore, I wouldn't risk it. Once he was free Roxas, self consciously, tried to cover himself up. "Alright Roxas, you can leave. Your boyfriend did you a kind favor but I can't say I'll be giving him back." Roxas slowly stood up and started walking towards me, face expressionless, almost like he hadn't even heard Xemnas. " Ah, ah, don't go to him." Xemnas scolded and Roxas stopped mid step.

"Come on Xemnas, let me say good bye and give him my coat, he doesn't have any clothes on." I insisted and Xemnas nodded.

Then Roxas silently began walking again, while I pulled my coat off, carefully removing a few items I would need placing them into random pockets in my pants. When Roxas finally made it to me, I bent down, and placed a chaste kiss on his lips while guiding his arms through my too long sleeves. "I love you Roxas."

"Axel." He began to protest.

"Shh, do what he says; get as far away from this place as you can. My keys are in the right inside pocket." I gave him one more passionate kiss wrapping my arms around him tightly before pulling away and staring into his eyes. It looked as though he wanted to say something, but couldn't quite figure out what that something was and I could tell Xemnas was getting impatient standing by the door I hadn't seen earlier. So I gently pushed Roxas towards the hidden door knowing it led directly to the outside world.

"Come now Roxas, and if Axel here doesn't feel like behaving, expect to see me again." Xemnas opened the door for Roxas, allowing a blinding light to flood the darkened room.

Before walking out the door Roxas looked back at me, eyes full of reluctant acceptance, "I love you too." Then the door shut.

**AN: Sorry for the long wait. **

**There is one chapter left, unless I rewrite it. If I rewrite it, there will be two chapters left. Either way, this story is coming to an end and I have a poll up on my page so you all can vote on what you want to see next.**

**I do have plans for a sequel, but I'm not sure if I'm writing it yet.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**And for all favs, alerts, and reviews.**


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23 – He Doesn't Look a Think Like Jesus**

"What a noble thing to do Axel." Xemnas taunted as he walked towards me. I however, wasn't listening. My eyes were still glued to the door, and my thoughts were with Roxas. I hoped he was getting in my car and driving away right this minute, but there was no way for me to know for sure, and if I knew Roxas at all, I'm sure he wouldn't leave me. I was immediately snapped out of my thoughts when Xemnas' teeth scraped across my neck. "Mm, I have missed you. That's why I was so rough with you the other night. Sometimes….I just can't contain my fondness for you." His hand pulled at my hair, forcing me to give him my neck as his lips made their way across my jaw and glued themselves to my lips.

I could feel his tongue force itself in and a million different memories of this same position from my past flooded my mind. "Kiss me back, like you mean it, or I'll go find Roxas again." I hadn't complied with Xemnas' commands in years but today I was listening to every word. If it kept Roxas safe, it was worth it. So when his lips captured mine again, I played along. I thirsted my tongue into the cavity of his mouth pressed my body against his, and wrapped my arms around his back, one hand threaded through his hair. " Ah, yes…This is what I want."

His hands started tearing desperately at my clothes, disposing of my shirt quickly, which I allowed as long as it kept his hands off my pants for a moment longer while I pondered quick plans. But his actions made me wonder what went so horribly wrong in his life for him to turn out like this. He shoved me to the ground and pushed me up against the cold unforgiving wall before he started running his hands over my chest, and biting roughly at my chest. "Tell me you want me Axel, tell me." He hissed against my chest.

"I want you so much Xemnas. I know I've been bad, but I want you back." I lied through a soft moan, giving him as much as I could give him while concentrating on my plans.

Xemnas' teeth left my chest as he started to work his way up my neck and nipped my ear. "I'm going to have to punish you."

oOo

My fingers fumbled inside Axel's jacket searching for his keys. I knew I shouldn't have left, I didn't want to leave, but I did. I just walked out that door. How could I do that? Tears were pouring out of my eyes when I found the keys and unlocked the Lambo's doors. Axel came to save me; I would do the same for him. There has to be something I can do.

I began frantically searching Axel's car for anything, anything at all I could use to help him. Then my hand felt something. Discarded in the passenger seat was Axel's phone. I picked it up and dialed nine-one-one before I thought it over and dialed a different number. Zexion's number.

"Axel? Did you kill the bastard yet? Did you find Roxas?" I heard Demyx's voice and knew immediately that Zexion was alive. There was no way there would be so much life in Demyx's voice if Zexion was gone. It was so good to hear someone familiar, someone who might be able to help. Before I knew it, the tears poured out and I cried hysterically in to the phone. "Oh my God! Roxas, my little muffin? Where's Axel, are you okay, tell me something?"

"I left. I left him Demyx, alone with Xemnas. I don't know what to do, but I know I have to go back for him. Demyx help me!"

"Okay, okay, breathe with me Roxas, in, out, in, out. Do you have any weapons?"

"I don't even have clothes!"

"Stay calm Roxas, Axel can take care of himself and Xemnas won't kill him, at least not right away. Check around Axel's car, does he have any weapons?"

"I already checked Demyx. There's nothing, just a little bottle of kerosene on the ground. He brought everything else in with him.

"Oh really? Kerosene?"

oOo

As Xemnas continued to lick and tease at my exposed chest, I reached out with my right hand, as inconspicuously as I could, for the key component for plan W. At some point Xemnas began to notice my attention wasn't completely on him, so I wrapped my free arm around him and began caressing his back. With one final stretch my fingers grabbed the previously abandoned needle, and I wasted no time in jamming it into Xemnas' neck before he could stop me, or even notice what I had done. His breathing on my neck hitched as his shocked eyes me mine. "Axel?" He whispered and I saw his eyes getting heavy, clearly trying to ask me how I could do such a thing to him.

I quickly brought my arm back before landing a punch directly in his face, watching him fall on top of me limply. Having hit him hard enough to knock him out I shoved his heavy body off of me. Then I crawled across the floor, grabbing my shirt and pulling it on, before standing up and looking around.

Then my eyes landed on the man I'd allowed to torture me for so many years, and it was almost shocking. The way he was helplessly lying on the floor made him almost human, it was so unrecognizable. His usually hard expression had gone soft, he was not at eye level, nor was he in control. Right now he was completely powerless. And I didn't feel one bit guilty.

I patted at my pockets until my hand landed on one of the bottles of kerosene. He would not touch Roxas again. Not if I have anything to do with it. With quick precision, I made my way through the entire mansion covering it in one long line of kerosene so I knew the fire would spread, leaving everyone, including me, little room to escape. Once I was sure I'd covered every surface I could with the small amount of liquid I had between the three bottles, I joined Xemnas again in the other room and took great care dousing his body with the remaining kerosene. Then I made my way to the door and opened it, allowing the sun to spill onto Xemnas. Truth be told, if he hadn't touched Roxas, I might actually regret doing this. But for now, I'm quite enjoying it.

I Pulled a match box out of my front pocket carefully lifted a match out, and watches as Xemnas looked up at me, terror, helplessness and shame, filling his eyes. Then with a smirk on my face, and my eyes connected with his, I struck the match and tossed it to the floor, throwing the rest of the box at Xemnas. "Later Xemy." I spoke, watching the flames engulf the doorway.

oOo

"What does that matter Demyx!" I cried into the phone. Honestly, how could he be thinking about that? "How am I going to help him using a small bottle of gas?"

"Oh…" I heard a dark laugh come from the phone, "Axels pretty crafty with a box of matches and I can guarantee there used to be more than one bottle."

"And…?"

"Okay, let me explain it like this. When Axel gets angry, his brain starts working crazy fast to come up with a plan. And that plan, experience has taught me, is rarely pretty, and always involves fire. Axel protects the ones he loves, and he went in there with a plan. Okay? Now what did he tell you to do?"

"He gave me his key and told me to get away as far as I can."

"He didn't tell you to wait?"

"No."

"Oh, well that's not good."

I couldn't help it more tears poured out of my eyes and I struggled to pull a breath in. He'd come to my rescue, risked his life, even gave his life for me, and I couldn't help him. What kind of boyfriend sits in a car crying while his boyfriend is in a house with a psychopath?

Demyx was still cooing in my ear, telling me to breath, and attempting to calm me down when I heard the car door open, and felt a cool breeze rush over me. My body immediately went into convulsive shivers and I curled into a ball, for protection.

"Move over Roxy, we have to get out of here." At the sound of his voice I whirled around and attached myself to his neck, kissing his face in every imaginable spot. Tears continued to fall from my eyes, but they were tears of relief, of happiness. He was still here. He was still with me. Our warm bodies are pressed together, his long arms wrapped around me, his mouth finding its way to mine, and kissing me deeply. My Axel is okay.

"Mm…Roxas…" Gently using his hands against my chest he pushed me back into the car. "We really need to get out of here."

oOo

Part of me craved having Roxas all over me, but then that other half, remembers what I did. What I consciously chose to do. I had allowed that other mans filthy hand to touch me, I allowed his tongue to enter me and now I'm holding Roxxas. My dirty mouth is on his, my infected tongue is dancing with his, and my tainted hands are sneaking under the coat he's wearing. And he trusts me. And that's not even mentioning the murder I just committed.

So, as politely as I could, I pushed Roxas back into the car, looked back at the house that was starting to smoked, then back at him, "We really need to get out of here." I climbed into the car after him, and turned the key that was already in the ignition. "You ready?"

A warm smile spread over his we face, "With you here."

A small smile tugged at my lips. I never expected him to leave without me. The light that filled his face when he'd seen me sent warmth throughout my body. I knew exactly what he had felt. We hadn't been separated long, but in that small time, it had felt like half of me was missing. And in the room with Xemnas we had been so close, yet still so far away. It didn't feel like we were truly back together, until the moment his watery eyes had locked onto mine. In that moment we were a complete again.

I couldn't bear to hurt him. Not when he felt so good. Lies were okay if they kept someone happy right? He never has to know that I cheated, he never has to know that I killed someone. All he needs to know is that I love him. That's what's important. I promised Saix I'd move on, and I did that with Roxas. I'm not about to lose him too.

With an eye on the rearview mirror, watching the mansion disappear in smoke and flames, while Roxas rested his head on my shoulder and closed his eyes, I floored the Lambo, and left my worry and lies behind. No one's perfect, and I'm certainly no Jesus.

End

**And it's finished.**

**Yes, I'll probably do a sequel, and even if I don't have a sequel, I'll have an epilogue of sorts and closed up any loose ends I may have missed. **

**Thank you all so much for reading this story, it makes me happy to know it was liked so much, and I appreciate ever review, fav, and alert I get, you all are amazing. **

**~Sammy-Dee**


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